From: "Budec"
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Mar 25, 2002
The "legend" says that Mr. JR "Bob" Dobbs was a traveling sales man in the
60s (50s?)... or so the story goes. My freind says that "Bob" never existed
and that he was just "made up" by the COSG, like how you guys make up "Santa
Claus", the "Easter Bunny" and "Jesus Christ"... So my question, is "Bob"
real (or formerly real) or did you guys just make him up?
If you say he is real, I want prove dammit. Like a photo of his Driver's
License or something like that.... SS card, Birth Certifacte or his Pickled
Corpse... anything, just a little proof.
Mmmm pickled corpse.
Either way, to me, it doesn't matter. My heart... and more importantly,
my
$30 USD belongs to him.
Jay
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
In article
> The "legend" says that Mr. JR "Bob" Dobbs was a traveling sales man in the
> 60s (50s?)... or so the story goes. My freind says that "Bob" never
existed
> and that he was just "made up" by the COSG, like how you guys make up "Santa
> Claus", the "Easter Bunny" and "Jesus Christ"... So my question, is "Bob"
> real (or formerly real) or did you guys just make him up?
We didn't make up Jesus Christ, or God, or the Devil, but believe you
me, that man J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is every iota as real as They are. You
tell your buddy that. And if he can prove Santa isn't real, then we
want to see that proof. And we didn't make up "Bob" either. That was
last done by Bud Westmore at Universal Studios.
>
> If you say he is real, I want prove dammit. Like a photo of his Driver's
> License or something like that.... SS card, Birth Certifacte or his Pickled
> Corpse... anything, just a little proof.
A LITTLE PROOF??!?!? A LITTLE PROOF?!?!?
Look behind you. You still have an ASS, I bet. And not little. Well,
there's some BIG proof for you -- YOU STILL HAVE AN ASS.
If there was NO "BOB", you would not BE here to have an ass.
If there was no "Bob," Doctor Legume would still be dead from that
motorcycle accident.
If there was no "Bob," there the whole world and all of reality
wouldn't be FAIR.
If there was no "Bob," then THOUSANDS of SUBGENII have THROWN AWAY
THEIR MONEY for NOTHING but a FEW LAUGHS THAT LAST A LIFETIME!
If "Bob" isn't real, then I suppose all that shit you read in the
newspapers *IS*?
If "Bob" himself is just a joke, then... what do you call YOURSELF!?!?
Your very LIFE? This whole PLANET?
Are there TRADEMARKED PICTURES of GOD? Well there's a god damned
TRADEMARKED PICTURE of "BOB."
The only ones for whom there is no "Bob" are those who have to ask if
there really is one.
You are welcome to QUESTION AUTHORITY all you want, but that STOPS at
"BOB", because he is NO AUTHORITY.
If someobody wants to believe that THEY are the thing that's "real" and
that "Bob" is the invention... well, heh. Heh heh heh. You just go
right on ahead and believe that.
((LOUD, BARELY SUPPRESSED SNICKERS HEARD ALL AROUND))
>
> Mmmm pickled corpse.
Actually it's in Lucite.
>
> Either way, to me, it doesn't matter. My heart... and more importantly,
my
> $30 USD belongs to him.
Then in your case, it has ceased to matter WHAT you believe. You could
go totally Pink, murder Philo, insult Connie, question "Bob" -- it
doesn't matter, you're still saved.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
PRABOB