SubGenius biology lesson

From: HPH <guitsynth@yahoo.com>

Something from alt.slack you need to see:

>I know your body stops doing everything while you
>sneeze BUT WHY CAN'T I BLOW MY NOSE AND PEE AT THE
>SAME TIME!? I tried it several times today.. the
>minute I start blowing my nose I stop peeing.

This is because the "Bob"Gland is a MIGRATING organ.
While it is infinite on the LATERAL plane, it moves
in only one direction on the LINEAR one. After all,
"Bob" IS known for his appaling inability to focus.
The "Bob"Gland slides up and down from the foot to
the head, depending on the inclination required to
access the desired Plane.

When you blow yer nose, it slides up to the Rewardian
Plane nearer the head. To access the PeeGland, it must
slide downwards, closer to the SexHurt areas. While
these two DO have an ideal balanced center where both
are accessible simultaneously, only rare Masters such
as Sterno can make it happen on a voluntary basis.
Therefore, we lower Subgeenies must use either one or
the other at a time.

Hope this helps.

And remember: Hopped-up hopheads hoppin' to HopTown
for more Frop & Hops ain't got time fer no principles.
Winners Use Don't Drugs!

Hobblin' Old Doc Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Creator of the Teleporting Cat Box

"...and always remember
the last words of my grandfather,
who said 'A truck!'..."
- Emo Philips

"If you want to know what God thinks of money,
just look at the people He gave it to."
- Dorothy Parker

"You cannot drink
the cup of the Lord
and the cup of demons."
- I Corinthians 10:20-22

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Original file name: SubGenius biology lesson.txt - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:05