How to Drive Eco-Freaks Nuts

From: "nu-monet v4.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Tue, Feb 26, 2002

(Toyota is unveling its new *practical* hybrid hydrogen-
powered vehicle in Japan. It is also building a hydrogen
refuling infrastructure and will be very Eco-friendly.
The catch? IT'S AN SUV! The evil, satanic monsters that
let ordinary, disgusting, dirty, proletarian, non-
environmentalists go offroads and DESECRATE the sacred
sanctuary which is nature, that ONLY environmentalists
should be permitted to enjoy!)

http://www.edmunds.com/news/innovations/articles/48104/article.html

--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"

--Kino Beman, brand name
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From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <3C7BC078.6777@succeeds.com>, nu-monet v4.0
<nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:

> The catch? IT'S AN SUV!

The catch to your catch: It's an experimental vehicle and even Toyota
expects a decade's wait before they are ready to mass produce and sell
any HPV model, SUV or otherwise. D'OH!

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
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From: "2L" <cmead@bigpond.net.au>

"nu-monet v4.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote in message
news:3C7BC078.6777@succeeds.com...
> The catch? IT'S AN SUV!

Wait...

Since when did people take SUV's offroad?

Aren't they for surburban mums taking kids to soccer??
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From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <3C7D73FE.64CCAC4C@menander.org>, dyskolos
<dyskolos@menander.org> wrote:

> There's no such thing as an "eco-friendly" automobile. Remember that TV
> commercial which ends with the cute widdle dirl asking her mommy "where
> do cars go to the bathroom"? The answer to that cute little question
> is: everywhere - smell that smell? That's car shit you're breathing.
> Me, I don't like the idea of inhaling poison gas because somebody has to
> drive a giant truck four blocks to get a pack of cigarettes. Makes me
> some kind of pathetic cartoonish tree-humper I guess.

Er, I take it you didn't read the article. Toyota is making hydrogen
fuel cell cars as prototypes with the first models to be released by
2010. By that time most manufacturers will at least have hybrid cars
available, with growing numbers of 'em on used car lots.

Me, I hate cars too, but I'm still glad to see that they'll start
killing people more directly than indirectly.

> And where did you get the idea that nature exists for human enjoyment?
> Enjoyment being another way of saying tear it down crap it up tread it
> under, and leave a smoldering trash-heap behind.

Or to simply stand in the middle of the woods, fully aware, and loving
it. I don't care if nature--a metasystem that allows for a staggering
and beautiful amount of life--has no time for me, I'll have time for
it. Color me treehugger. That doesn't mean I always do good for
everything, because that is usually impossible, but hey, at least I try
not to wipe my ass with new growth trees.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org>

Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench wrote:

> Er, I take it you didn't read the article. Toyota is making hydrogen
> fuel cell cars as prototypes with the first models to be released by
> 2010. By that time most manufacturers will at least have hybrid cars
> available, with growing numbers of 'em on used car lots.

And the factories that make the thousands of parts for each car - what will
they run on? And the trucks and trains and planes that transport the
materials and parts, and the machines that dig the metal out of the ground or
drill the oil, what will they run on? There's a whole process going on here
that won't be magically fixed by the end product, a car which will still
require rubber tires, petroleum lubricants, cooling, transmission, and brake
fluids, and will still be made out of tons of metal and plastic and still end
up in a junkyard when the owner wraps it around a telephone pole. Except
those fuel cells will be a real bitch to dispose of. No easy answers here.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man)

On Wed, 27 Feb 2002 19:04:23 -0600, Kevan <cuthulu@shreve.net> wrote:

>On Wed, 27 Feb 2002 16:04:15 -0800, dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org> from
>Soniferous Ether wrote:
>
>>Me, I don't like the idea of inhaling poison gas because somebody has to
>>drive a giant truck four blocks to get a pack of cigarettes. Makes me
>>some kind of pathetic cartoonish tree-humper I guess.
>
>I share your opinions. I think a lot more people are seeing things this way,
>too. BTW, I have about 475 commuter miles on my bike so far this year, and about
>50 for my car. I think I'll be selling my car soon.

yeah, but just think about all the methane that gets produced by
people that have to eat enough lentils to peddle-power their dopey,
hippie asses 20 miles to the all-night lesbo coffee shops and Magnetic
Healing Cummerbund shops and stuff. Quite a potent greenhouse gas,
that.

Eco-war is lost. Been lost. People their own selves are the problem.
Too many of them. And they all want more than they need, and a
shitload of them actually get it. Some are just more honest about
being wasteful, hateful, useless pigs. Until our irresponsibility and
stupidity causes the entire stinking shithouse to implode like a
rotten pumpkin, I for one want to have the BIGGEST, STINKIEST,
HEAVIEST pickups and vans they make, and drive them around EVERYWHERE,
sometimes for NO FUCKING REASON at all, and make NO FUCKING BONES
about not giving two armpit farts about ANYTHING or ANYBODY besides
myself, my mutts, and a few other people. Everybody's fucked no matter
what.

Earth is not defenseless. It will pop the human race like a pimple on
a Dinosaur's butt soon enough. In the meantime I'd advise everybody to
quit trying to heat their house with a compost heap and try to have a
good time if they can, and enjoy their hatred if they can't. And try
not to act like a hypocritical hippie horse's pitoot. That's causing
me to put more energy into the latter than I care to.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <3C7DCF24.13A6D0B3@menander.org>, dyskolos
<dyskolos@menander.org> wrote:

> No easy answers here.

Of course not. And you fail to point out that all of this energy
production, car production, and car driving creates entropy, which is
bad. But as cars are the largest contributor to air pollution, and as
gasoline pollutes just by evaporating, the notion of lowering and
eventually ending our dependency on gasoline is a good step.

You know, when I was a kid, they made us act a lot more cynical than
this. Then again, we still thought that maybe Reagan would go bugnuts
and we'd wind up turned to nuclear ash in microseconds--IF LUCKY.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: subspecies23@aol.comsucks (Rev. Underwood)

I got to thinking yesterday, I wonder if people themselves are contributing to
global warming. I mean, you'd think with several billion people on the planet
all that combined body heat would eventually raise the temperature a little,
not much though, but maybe a couple of degrees. My solution to Global Warming?
Kill Everyone. That's my solution for everything though. There are too many
people on this planet, we need more death. Anything that kills people is fine
with me. 2000 something people dead in the WTC? Good. No one I know was
there, so why should I care? We need a few more bombings and natural
disasters.

-------------------------------
You'll be wracked with self-loathing...
or your money back!

"Doesn't matter if he's from Mexico or Alabama, Sweeden or Utah, Mozambique or
Indiana - hicks is hicks."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <3c7dfaba.72535745@news.mindspring.com>, yard man
<Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com> wrote:

> Everybody's fucked no matter what.

And what's wrong with stretching out the party as long as you can, so
that it ain't YOU what has to see the shit hit the fan? If you got a
deathwish, then shit or get off the pot. And shit.

That's the real problem--too much shit, not enough STUFF.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)

>I share your opinions. I think a lot more people are seeing things this way,
>too. BTW, I have about 475 commuter miles on my bike so far this year, and
>about 50 for my car. I think I'll be selling my car soon.

I used to ride my bike to work at my old job in warm weather. It was only 4
miles!

Now I have to drive 110 miles round trip!
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"Just think, the next time I shoot someone I could get arrested!"

Lt. Frank Drebin, "The Naked Gun"
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From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man)

On Thu, 28 Feb 2002 13:04:20 -0800, dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org>
wrote:

>yard man wrote:
>
>> Eco-war is lost. Been lost. People their own selves are the problem.
>> Too many of them. And they all want more than they need, and a
>> shitload of them actually get it. Some are just more honest about
>> being wasteful, hateful, useless pigs.
>
>That may just be the most intelligent thing you will ever say in your entire
>life. Congratulations!

thanks. But unless you gonna send me money I don't give a hanging
snot-string for your praise. Or your girly sarcasm.

Anyway got the guts to say something similar yourself? I mean, face
the fact that if you don't live naked in the woods and grub up roots
for dinner, that you're part of the problem?

Waving signs while dressed up like a forest elf and blabbering on
about renewable energy sources and chaining your scrawny
undernourished ass to a tree don't do a damn thing but give you the
opportunity to feel smug and heroic.

Might as well try to derail a freight train with a shoe horn as change
the direction humanity is heading. You'd have to alter the economic
forces that drive environmental destruction, and require RADICAL
lifestyle changes, that would by nature require ruthless global
governmental heavy-handedness that would make the Chink enforcement of
the one-baby-only bullshit look like typical Pre-K discipline. Shit
hardly anybody, liberal or conservative, would accept. Would you?

How much are you really willing to sacrifice? How many people are you
willing to starve to save the tropical forests? How many unemployed
auto workers are you willing to kill and eat?

Come up with something that would work, and get everybody to agree to
it, and I'M in.

But until then I'm not gonna go wasting my life jerking off to the
sound of my yap flapping, prouder than fuck-all of myself because I
can get a handful of dipshit hippie dreamers to listen.

Don't mean I won't run my yap. I'll just go on being willing to admit
it's pointless bullshit that accomplishes nothing.

And if they're gonna chop down the trees and burn them anyway, I'd
rather warm my hands than wring them. Outgrew all that horseshit.

And I'm gonna tear around in my goddam boat and stuff. But I will
observe the no-wake rules where them big fat lardy water cows wallow.
Even I got scruples.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: SubGenius Spice <SGSpice@safe-mail.netnoise>

"Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench" wanted alt.slack to know:

>In article <07rs7u04g3lbjuo8jb5vcook5vufa9jiv5@4ax.com>, Kevan
><cuthulu@shreve.net> wrote:
>
>> armageddon
>
>When's that again?

it was last week. didn't you get the memo?

--
Prerecorded for this time zone.
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From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man)

On Fri, 01 Mar 2002 15:54:59 GMT, Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com
(yard man) wrote:

> Might as well try to derail a freight train with a shoe horn as change
> the direction humanity is heading.

and, uh, also, it WOULD be a lot easier to derail a freight train with
a shoehorn than to create a global movement that would require people
to stop fucking.

dream on.

and

LIVE IT UP!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)

>Wow, that sucks. How'd you get conned into that?

My was too slackful for the closer job, and the Boss, who had being trying to
get me fired back when he was only a peon who just sat in his cubical all day
listening to rush Limbuagh, got enough power to get ride of those who did not
fit his "prefect views" of the world.

Since I have yet to attain true slack, I still have to buy food and pay my
mortgage and utilities. So the first Job offer I got was in Wilmington, DE
which is exactly 55 miles form my driveway.

Interesting side note to my ex-boss.....

After he fired me (and about three other people), I sent him a letter from
"BoB" saying that he had incured his wrath by fireing a ordained SubG minister!
The only way he could redeem himself was to send in his $30!

He did not, of course. And Guess what! He died of cancer!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU BOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"Just think, the next time I shoot someone I could get arrested!"

Lt. Frank Drebin, "The Naked Gun"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man)

On Sat, 02 Mar 2002 00:29:57 -0800, dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org>
wrote:

>yard man wrote:
>
>> and, uh, also, it WOULD be a lot easier to derail a freight train with
>> a shoehorn than to create a global movement that would require people
>> to stop fucking.
>
>They have this new thing now where you can fuck all you want and not have to spend the
>rest of your life enslaved by your unwanted spawn. You probably haven't heard about it.

yeah. Heard all about it. Also know how effective it's been. Worked
real good so far in this country. And I'm sure the Indians still have
their condoms rolled over their broomsticks.

>If people simply stop indulging in their misguided urge to produce more of their own
>kind that will quickly solve all human problems.

problem is who is doing it, mostly. When we tried to rise above the
same vicious imperatives that govern ALL the other animal life on this
planet, we fucked the whole of humanity with our presumed kindness.

>Parenthood isn't a word, it's a sentence: twenty to life.

yeah, yeah. And I thought I was bitter.

It all depends. Some people can bring meaning to their life by
championing lost causes. Others can find it holding their own kid, and
busting their ass to feed and protect him/her. Whether or not anyone
should dictate what others should or shouldn't do with their lives is
TOTALLY fucking moot, at least within the context of this, uh,
argument. Because nobody can. Except at the point of a spear or gun or
missile.

like it or not, that's the way it's always been. Always. So when there
isn't enough to go around, well some of them people gotta go, and
their kids, too. And the fact that we are now facing inevitable
nastiness on a heretofore unimaginable scale is at once mandated by
that law, AND is gonna be MUCH worse because of our idiotic efforts to
transcend it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man)

On Sat, 02 Mar 2002 00:25:08 -0800, dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org>
wrote:

>yard man wrote:
>
>> thanks. But unless you gonna send me money I don't give a hanging
>> snot-string for your praise. Or your girly sarcasm.
>
>But I meant it. And I wasn't saying it because I care what you think about me saying
>it, I was saying it because it seems to me to be a fact. So have any kind of fit you
>like.

I know you did.

I just like being nasty.

ask anybody.
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From: dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org>

yard man wrote:

> On Sat, 02 Mar 2002 00:25:08 -0800, dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org>
> wrote:
> >But I meant it. And I wasn't saying it because I care what you think about me saying
> >it, I was saying it because it seems to me to be a fact. So have any kind of fit you
> >like.
>
> last word.
>
> I'll be serious for a moment. Probably regret it.
>
> you'd be surprised to know what I was in my younger days. What I
> believed. How much of myself I dumped into trying to make a
> difference. It pains me EVERY SINGLE DAY to see the mess we made, but
> I DID give up on trying to do anything about it. Don't believe I'll be
> reincarnated to see the utopia folks like you will create, so I
> concentrate on making the most of what's left of this world. And
> preparing to feed and defend myself and a few others, if I have to.
>
> Cowardly? Maybe. How we throw our life away is an individual choice,
> but throwing it away for the presumed good of humanity, country, mom,
> pie the wife and kids, whatever, is something we perversely associate
> with heroism. But maybe it's as good a gauge as any other. Grant you
> that.
>
> But right now I'd rather throw mine away working night and fucking day
> most of the time so I can go fishing once in a while and afford a lot
> of toys and even more oncer in a while, get dumped out into what's
> left of the real wilderness in a beat-up float plane. But I don't come
> back from any of my commuting to and communing with nature with any
> new found courage to follow my own convictions. Makes a lotta fucking
> sense, eh?
>
> So there. When nobody else seems to be able to manage it, I'll kick my
> own ass.
>
> that's all of that. Back to insulting everybody.

Haw haw, you have FEELINGS!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

In article <3C827913.65CD524E@menander.org>, dyskolos says...

>Haw haw, you have FEELINGS!

Yeah, you can't be WITH IT and COOL unless you stay as numb as a stump. If your
psychic t-shirt doesn't say "*I'M* Number One," you're a big yak-drawn wagon
full of Number Two. Even in my doddering decrepitude, I'm still occasionaly
amazed at how adept you fellers can be at whacking off with one hand and having
a big bitch-slap fight with the other. Yep, them Judge Dredd dolls are just
FLYIN' off the shelves. Good thing "Futurama" is comin' on or I'd kick BOTH yer
natural asses.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
That HellPope Power Friends Punch
corskscrews 'em into anudder die-mension,
I tell ya whut

"If English was good enough for Jesus Christ,
it's good enough for the children of Texas"
- Former Texas governor Ma Ferguson
on bilingual education.

I know showing up is the largest part of it.
I know some people can't even manage that.
I know that's all some people can manage.
- Philip Martin

"I'd kiss ya, but I lost my teeth pullin' a stump."
- "Futur
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Bryan J. Maloney" <bjm10@cornell.edu>

In article <3c7f9de0.25958369@news.mindspring.com>,
Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man) wrote:

> Waving signs while dressed up like a forest elf and blabbering on
> about renewable energy sources and chaining your scrawny
> undernourished ass to a tree don't do a damn thing but give you the
> opportunity to feel smug and heroic.

Right on!

It's screwing the teenage girls afterwards who are impressed by all that
crap is the real accomplishment.

--
America is a wonderful country. Where else could a young Black man like
Michael Jackson grow up to be a middle-aged White woman?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: KRONOS@null.void (KRONOS)

In article <3c7dfaba.72535745@news.mindspring.com>, yard man wrote:

> Earth is not defenseless. It will pop the human race like a pimple on
> a Dinosaur's butt soon enough.

Just wait until all the interlocking,synergistic,vicious cycles
really start getting cranked up.

-out of control population growth(this is the big one-the problem that
makes all the others worse)

-water shortages,droughts,overuse,pollution

-unraveling ecosystems(fisheries being the main one)

-global warming

-desertification,depleted farmlands

-petroleum depletion

There are more, but those listed above are sufficient to do us in.

And now, the downward spiral-

First, the price of oil spikes, leading to a serious recession. Local
water shortages become more severe,leading to unrest and conflict
between countries that share water supplies. Drought(made worse by
global warming),desertification, and farmland loss cause food price
spikes and more unrest. Various important species become unavailble
as ecosystems are exhausted. Meanwhile, the overall population
continues to boom,allthough there are local dieoffs.

Spot shortages of oil appear, leading to rationing and driving the
world close to depression. Food is still readily available in the rich
countries, but prices are rapidly rising and big food producing
countries cut back on their exports. Outright war breaks out in
certain areas over water supplies. Disease and starvation start to
significantly dent the population growth rate.

Chronic oil shortages permanently drive down the world economic
ouput. Problems due to global warming are pervasive. Food shortages
and starvation are endemic. Whole ecosystems give up the ghost.
Massive unrest finally topples the House of Saud, and the US sends in
the troops. Radicals sabotage the oilfields and you can write your
own sci-fi apocalypse from here.

What's the timeline for the shit/fan event? I wouldn't be surprised
if some of the really bad stuff starts happening in as little
as 5-10 years. I think alarm bells are already ringing, but no one seems
to be listening. You know, this could actually be quite a pleasant
little mudball,IF IT WEREN'T FOR ALL THESE GODDAMNED MONKEYS THROWING
SHIT EVERYWHERE!.

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Original file name: How to Drive Eco-Freaks Nuts.tx - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:05