Subject: Have I mentioned lately how much rap SUCKS?!

Date: Thu, Mar 14, 2002 8:47 PM

From: HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

I'd almost kinda f'gotten until Cypress Hill came on the toob again. Is dat de
colostomizin', crapnoid, no-talent, twitchilatin', fool-flappin',
tympanic-membrane-rapin', waste-o-wiring buncha human dandruff on parade or
WHUT?! Yo, I hate it. Let's grab 2 cats by the tail and slam 'em together
instead. It will sound better and rid us of two more cats as well.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
I like to gouge wattled matrons with sporks

"Even words like tits, winkle and vibraphone
cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sound!"
- Monty Python

"You know what? Men aren't from Mars,
you're from HELL and
you're goin' back barefooted, ALL of ya!"
- "The Job"

"Leave me alone. I'm trying to be a husband
and your mojo is gettin' all over me."
- "The West Wing

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

I dunno, there's some really good hip-hop out there. But then good hip-hop
isn't that tired kill whitey, fuck da po-lice garbage. Even the rap
magazines have started giving bad rap a bad rap.

'Bout damn time, if you ask me. The whole gangsta rap industry feeds hate
in the same way that good blues, jazz, Motown, and Quincy Jones, doesn't.
Gimme Chuck fuckin' Berry and I'll be glad to show up at the brothers'
picnic, peace, yo. No losers coasting down the street with speakers
x-plodin' busting the car to rivets, yelling shit, damn, motherfucker, bust
a cap, bitch, whore, kill whitey. If the rap artists can call it art, then
them Klan robes are art too, ain't they perty. Let's get the gas-o-line and
burn us some per-formance art, bubba. Same bull, different color. I know a
good groove when I hear one, and hate shit *ain't it*. Mostly because it's
bo-ring.

But leave the kitties out of it.

alliekatt

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From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

yeah.

If we can get sick of Marylin Manson they can get sick of rap.

dammit.

Shock value wears off.

If you have a BRANE

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

The mourning of young widows is as brief as a noonday candle

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Two Beans" <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>

But, white people NEED to die. ALL people need to die. Don't chastize dumb
rappers because they are narrow minded.

Hell, I'd rather have another policefucking bitchslapping honkeykillin'
bassorgie than another happysappy Will Smith PuffDaddy diddy.

--
Two Beans
http://www.eyeofthewarp.com/twobeans
http://www.eyeofthewarp.com/nhgh
http://mp3.com/twobeans

"There, the spark leaps to life. The Golden Age quivers on the brink of
creation. Live, my machine! Live my savior! You have my breath... You have
my dream, my dream."
-The Residents, "Failure / Reconstruction" from the album Mark of the Mole

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

>I dunno, there's some really good hip-hop out there. But then good hip-hop
>isn't that tired kill whitey, fuck da po-lice garbage. Even the rap
>magazines have started giving bad rap a bad rap.

I agree with ya there. Hip-hop proper has a really catchy syncopation and lends
itself to some nice variations, depending on where you accent. Its also had a
great effect on techno and enhanced many of my favorite "hybrid" finds.
Hip-hoppers seem to have a sense of fun and creativity overall, so its easy to
find some things to appreciate therein.

But rap is generally a friggin' trashy assault with little musicality and a
brainless "message" that craps on the real thing first presented early on by
legit folks like Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. Rap got co-opted so
fast, I'm still tryin' to steam-clean the stink out of the drapes. So yeah, I
respeckfully make the same distinction you do, doktorette.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Personally apprenticed in Yipeland
by Yowlee Lopinoff

"Once the sun goes down,
all the weirdos turn crazy."
- Homer S.

"It's a wolverine.
It's like margarine;
it's not really a wolf
and it's not really butter."
- Dad, during a nature documentary

"Gotta gotta gotta get a gun or a job!"
- The Band That Dare Not Speak Its
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From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

But, dood, they sing about POT, so that makes 'em OK, right?

Actually, the only "rap" I like is The Last Poets, as they were the
ones who established all the themes that modern rap artists rip off
with neither acknoledgement nor irony--and they did it back in the late
60s, after Motown had become a big industry. The Last Poets is ART,
damn it, but it was the kind of art that is pretty damn hard to do
right, as gansta rappers prove daily.

"Th' white man's got a God complex!" Well, DUH, and you folks act like
you can't become God too. No wonder you have to chase after Coltrane to
rise above it all. Sun Ra, on the other hand, KNEW he was God, and
that's why he rocks th' motherfuckin' house, yo. And George Clinton is
the Second Coming. But Rick James is a false prophet. Superfreak my
ass.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/

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From: thereheis99@hotmail.com (Rev. Crawford)

Yo, Huey, let's you and me form a rap group.

We can call ourselves Tha Gud Spellaz

Peace out, homey.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v4.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

(Picture yourself fried out of your gills, sitting
in an overstuffed easy chair as a girl with an
*enormous* bootie shakes it in your face, the pattern
from her neon-yellow polkadot bikini bottom causing
acute visual hallucinations of an Irish Opray Winfrey
shaking her finger at you while saying over and over
again, "Don't do it, bwah!", sounding remarkably like
Uncle Remus in 'Song of the South'; and *then* the
light dawns that you have been rapping passages from
Kathie Lee Gifford's book, "My Wonderful Life and
Beautiful Children", in iambic pentameter, until your
throat is bleeding all over the shag carpeting; so you
flop your head to the left, where you see the Hellpope
in a similar circumstance, except the bikini bottom
being shaken in *his* face is bright neon orange, while
hallucinatory chupacabras give him hickey-kisses like
from the buffalo-critter in the first episode of Star
Trek TOS--something he is *not* enjoying; and you blurt
out, "Take it, Huey!"

And he replies, "No!"

So now you must-- RAP...OR...DIE!)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: thereheis99@hotmail.com (Rev. Crawford)

I have visions JUST LIKE this every time I ingest Church Air. They're
almost identical!

Except for the Oprah part.

-C
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

dyskolos says...

>>Get this - most people aren't as madly in love with your hyperverbose
griping as you are. Some people don't think it's cute or funny, just
BORING. Me for instance. Really i wish to god it was as fascinating
to me as it is to you, but it just isn't.

Then watch the new episodes of "SpongeBob" instead, spud.

I enjoy most of what I see here, as its largely a savvy & creative group of
worthwhile folks who exhibit some depth & breadth I appreciate;

I don't require that anybody do JACK, includin' "luv" me, although some do &
vice versa;

I actually get PAID to write similar stuff elsewhere each month -not a huge
sum, but real pay, nonetheless, for 4 years running now- and my e-mail indicates
that I engage & satisfy enough people that its worth my time to write and theirs
to read the result. You no likee this show, you go see some OTHER glodamn show!

I'm no fan of Carrot Top or George Will, but they Get Across. Numbers handily
put the lie to detraction as a rule. I'm still waitin' to see you be funny the
first time. Sure, I fuck up, but at least I'm not monochromatic. Show some
COLOR, DANCE for us, whitey!

If you can write as well or as amusingly as I do, or Nu-Monet or Stang or Joe
or Spice or any of the multiple others who rock, do so. It'll add to the M'HUNH
we come for. "Most" and "some" are relative terms.

>>Since you grant yourself the privilege of barfing your opinions all
over everyone

No, DOBBS does that, for ALL of us. I'm just one of the gaudier servos. Are you
SURE you're paid up? Hm, I'm trying to RECALL the last thing I saw here that
WASN'T an opinion of some sort....

>>>I hope you'll at least have the generosity to let me
cough up a few even they aren't exactly what you would have said.

HAW HAW, you have FEELINGS!

Boy, they just ain't makin' them iceknife clones the way they used to.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
I have the body of a sedentary galactic potentate
and the mind of a chicken on speed.
I don't know what that totals.
Probably my odds of becoming rich & famous.

"I'll admit I've had better days,
but I'm still not to be had
for the price of a cocktail
and a salted peanut."
- Betty Davis

"Clearly, we are in a situation
where we'd normally find Rod Serling
talking to a camera
in the corner of our living room."
- "Baby Bob"

"You're a teacher...
and with that mantle, comes a burden."
- "Boston Public"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

> Get this - most people aren't as madly in love with your hyperverbose
> griping as you are. Some people don't think it's cute or funny, just
> BORING. Me for instance. Really i wish to god it was as fascinating
> to me as it is to you, but it just isn't.

Nens--oops, pardon me--Dyskolos has a point. He has much of a right to
pointlessly gripe as anyone on alt.slack. A shame he, like most others,
doesn't do so entertainingly, let alone poignantly. But it's not like
this newsgroup is worth EFFORT, right?

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

BREAK IT UP, BREAK IT UP, boys, stop throwing soda glasses, beer bottle
and Christmas ornaments, or you'll have to leave the greenhouse before
you miss each other and hit a wall.

For a long time I didn't think much of most rap and hip hop, based on
the mindless bragging crap they played on hated old Dallas station KNON
(the one that cancelled MY SHOW!!!), but that was because they were
playing the mindless crap. Within the rap genre, like every other
genre, there are hidden Greats that don't necessarily get airplay.

Luckily for me, the radio show that I'm on, ESO Swamp Radio on Thursday
nights on WCSB Cleveland, is followed by a show called "Urban Lullaby"
by "DJ "A"" and "DJ GOLDIE". It's on from 1 to 4 Friday mornings, and
although I couldn't for the life of me remember the names of a single
specific group, I've heard some very clever and funny as well as
wrenching and hard hitting music come out of my car radio when I'm
driving home from the station.

There's a lot of great rap and hip hop out there, but unless there's
somebody with taste sifting through it for you, it's easy to see all of
it as being as bad as mainstream TV pap culture. Both have real gems
hidden amidst the sewage. Much like this very newsgroup.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

Break what up? Oh, that. Eh, it was a one-shot on MY end. Its part of my new
policy to be sweeter than the driven yellow snow. You mean you thought I was
gonna get into a weeks-long bitch-slappin' with a new purple clone? Oh, Doktor,
BWAHAHAHAHAA!! Ya such a CAUTION!

>There's a lot of great rap and hip hop out there, but unless there's
>somebody with taste sifting through it for you, it's easy to see all of
>it as being as bad as mainstream TV pap culture. Both have real gems
>hidden amidst the sewage. Much like this very newsgroup.

And who is THERE to sift for you? Aside from a precious few local shows on so
late the conservative regents don't know they're there? Unless the "gems" are
marketed to sell a minimum of 250,000 copies, THEM don't make enuf money to feel
justified in bothering, so it gets no airplay and thus passes around by word of
mouth only. That's why anyone or anyTHING really interesting is, ahem, CANCELLED
or relegated to the dust bins of 2 a.m. That's also why a radio is now just a
modern paperweight 97% of de time, PRAISE Chas!

Their idea of marketing is monolithic rather than being handled with a greater
sense of breadth. I THOUGHT Capitalism was about volume sales, but since they
just bought out Mariah, it seems to be failing in odd ways due to their corrupt
efforts. I don't mean mere evil either; I mean corrupted like a bad computer
prog.
Lemme say it again: if the fux sold CDs for $7 per instead of $15+ (just as
they sell DVDs for $10 when VHS tapes are still $15+), we'd be buying them by
the case and their squawking would have no fuel. They just be's BAD BIDNESSMENS.

Its also why draconian copy-protection laws such as you mentioned are being
ramped up like mad: 9/11 has given them the opening they need to TOTALLY SHUT
DOWN ANYTHING THAT ISN'T THEM. So let's be very cynical and ask....how much can
they corrupt the ENTIRE market for intellectual property before it collapses?
Exactly how many prisons can they build for file-sharers before the population
exceeds the working one they HAVEN'T bankrupted with all that blarney? IS there
any real PROTECTION in the logic of that? And have you stashed enough Pringles
to watch while they try to DO it?

X-Box my fucking fucking ASS. What are they gonna do, put a copy-lock on my
goddamned SYNTH so I can't make copies of what I play INTO it with my own
fingers? Where's the friggin' LINE? The TV is going, radio is ALREADY gone,
libraries are folding (Arkansas cut their budgets here by SEVENTY PER CENT last
year)...and instead of just REMAKING crap, now "ET" is being released AGAIN.
I'll be watching with fascinated, dull horror at how this unfolds while GW is
squatting over the national mouth. "Oh say can you seee...." ... yeah, but I
cain't READ.

I'm sure glad I already bought my SubGenius books.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SubGenius Spice <SGSpice@safe-mail.netnoise>

> Don't "Huh" ME, Mr. MAN! You're the one who's been bursting with tales of your
>recent intestinal tumult. First Katie Couric's colonoscopy and then you. Why,
>half of us have been able to hear your Japanese monster noises from our easy
>chairs. Pepto for Mr. IMBJR! You shouldn'ta et the Brushwood patties.

i think it was doktormistertwistedsister that was experiencing the
colonic vesuviusitude.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

SORRY. But we all take turns with it in this group and the sounds are ALWAYS in
holo-quad. How was I supposed to be sure? One gutblowout with an umbrella reach
of 3 parsecs is pretty much like another, whether you had the Dobbspatties or
the fresh kitten tacos. I mean, who among us has NOT recounted some alimentary
attack or 'nother? At least the number of a.b.s. pics of same have been
mercifully few. Anyway, enuf of that, I just et pancakes.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org>

I hate (any given musical form) as much as anyone, but I hate even
more some pompous jerk BITCHING AND BITCHING AND BITCHING about some
experience they had which lasted about two minutes and which they just
have to make sure everybody they know finds out just how much they
disenjoyed it. LIKE THIS! And I hate even more when that jerk
decides they are immune from the same sort of criticism they throw at
others with such wild abandon and get all prickly and defensive and
explanatory about the great value to be received from reading their
tired kvetching and all dismissive and derisive when their critics
don't show the type of brilliance which can only come from duplicating
that type of tired kvetching about the very same topics every
intolerant prejudiced old fart has bitched and whined about since
before year one like I'm doing right now. Oh, I just hate that new
kind of music, I can't stand that hairdo, oh this TV show is great and
that TV show is awful, blah dee blah bla bla. Watching TV doesn't
make you some kind of social critic and complaining about popular
culture is not an intellectual activity. When I find I've been
sitting in front of the TV for an hour I feel guilty and try to think
of something REAL to do. When I react emotionally against a SOUND or
a PICTURE or a few marks on a piece of paper or a pattern of light and
dark on a computer screen I try to figure out why, if so many other
people find pleasure and satisfaction in the thing, why I am
AUTOMATICALLY REACTING to programming which causes me to be intolerant
and WHO INITIATED THAT PROGRAMMING and what benefit if any I derive
from it. Yes, there is something of value in even the biggest
smelliest most gaseous and corrupt heap of dung (and I DO MEAN HUEY)
and there may even be some minuscule flaw in the most nearly perfect
of persons (and I do mean me) but I haven't found either one yet.

It only takes a little prick to let the air out of the biggest
windbag, and I DO mean me and Huey respectively.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

It is true that some folks are woefully missing some of the subtleties
of Dyspepsios's posts, whereby he acknowledges his own titanic,
history-crushing shortcomings. I think that's why he enjoys prancing
around hollering about how stupid everybody is. He's merely taking
"Bob's" direct orders at face value.

Speaking for myself, I prefer to feather Dobbs' directives with the
Hypocrisy which he also bequeathed us.

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Original file name: Have I mentioned lately.txt - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:08