Explanation for Kooks, Bus Errors

Date: Sat, Feb 9, 2002 8:15 PM

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Magdalen, you were saying that the full moon was what's been bringing
the kooks out of the woodwork. Well, Wei was just told by our
seance-holding, astrologer/fortune-teller friend that Mercury has been
in Retrograde for a long time, in fact until yesterday. This would help
explain not only the recent feverish emergence of woodwork-crazies
Foundation-wards, but also the technical problems that have been
plaguing everyone's computers during this same time. When Mercury is in
Retrograde, you see, all COMMUNICATION is fucked up somehow. (Not even
the most advanced astology scientists are able to explain exactly how
the stars and planets do this, at least not in any formulaic detail.)
So the crazies all suddenly WANT to communicate, because of the moon,
but they are worse at it than ever, because of Mercury.

Likewise, Mercury's communication-fucking retrograde state has caused
bus errors in computer systems, such as the crash that resulted in me
losing a couple days' worth of video transfers last week. WCSB's
Internet radio server has been down for two weeks, too.

I presume that Mercury also messed up my friend's seances, although she
didn't specifically mention that to Wei.

And to think, I used to superstitiously attribute such problems to
SUNSPOTS!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Ned Wreck" <NedWreck@usenetserver.com>

Mercury's a division of Ford Motor Company, that explains a lot.

Ned
It's all connected

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: kconvery@ioma.com (The Bishop)

The stars and planets don't do it, they're just the SIGN of it.
It's like a facial expression of the Universe. When you see Mercury in
retrograde, the Universe is feeling cranky, and wants you to be cranky
too. Strangely, when the planets are in alignment, it is NOT a sign
that the universe is feeling "aligned" or "well-ordered," but exactly
the opposite. It means the Universe (which HATES when you use a small
u) is way out of balance and in danger of tipping completely over, in
which case good will become bad, right will become left, up will be
down, and the Church of the SubGenius will be the dominant religion on
the planet, oversized, bland, corrupt, and decadent, while the
Catholic Church, Hinduism, and Buddhism are all fringe cults harassing
people at the airport and torturing SubGenius call-in radio show
hosts. So, depending on how you feel about that state of affairs, the
next time there's a "harmonic convergence," you should lean waaaaay
over to the left, or waaaaay over to the right. Ask your friends to
help, and hang on to something.

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Original file name: Explanation for Kooks, Bus Erro - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:08