abnormal

Date: Fri, Mar 8, 2002 5:39 PM

From: "nu-monet v4.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

There is a true story of a handsome young man
who was somewhat off his nut, enough to be
placed in a mental hospital, involuntarily.

After a time he seemed to be responding to
treatment, so he was brought before the board
of governors, to evaluate whether he was normal
enough for release.

"What do you plan to do when you are released
from the hospital?" asked his first examiner.

"I plan to buy myself a slingshot and bust out
every damn window in this fucking place", he
replied.

Well, that was enough for the board, so they
returned him to treatment for another year.

He was a model patient throughout the year,
however, exhibiting no outward signs of
abnormality and cooperating fully with the
staff. So once again he went before the
board of governors.

The same question was put to him, to which he
first thought for a minute before responding:

"Well, once I get out, and it has been a while
since I have enjoyed the freedom of the outdoors,
I plan to just walk around for a bit and enjoy
the fresh air, before heading into town. And
you must agree that while the food here will keep
body and soul together, a nice meal in a good
restaurant would really hit the spot."

"Then, after I get my affairs in order, and get
a room for the night, I plan to look up a young
lady who was once my girlfriend. I think that
she won't hold my hospitalization against me,
and might even agree to take a long walk in the
city park."

"We used to be very friendly, and I know just
the park bench where we can sit to create the
perfect romantic mood. I imagine that pretty
soon we will be kissing, and mind you, she is
a pretty good kisser. Then after a time, I
will caress her, to which I expect she will be
very responsive, as she once was. I will put
my hand on her knee, then slowly work my way
up her thigh until I get to her garter..."

And then he paused. Needless to say, the board
were all ears.

"And then what will you do?" asked the examiner.

"And then I will tear off her garter, *make* me
a slingshot, and bust out every goddamn window
in this fucking place!"

--
WELCOME TO ARIZONA
Nothing valued is here.
This sign is a message and part of a system
of messages, left to discourage the unwary
traveller.
Pay attention to it!
Sending this message was important to us, for
we despise you and all who are like you.
We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture,
though our professional football team sucks.
If you enter into this place you will be smitten
with radiation and horrible things will bite
and sting you. The people are evil and violent
and will attack you.
There is nothing for you here.
GO AWAY.

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Original file name: abnormal.txt - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:08