Hey Huey- Rollerball Q: answered

Date: Thu, Feb 14, 2002 6:44 PM

From: "Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net>

Dropping the 'Rollerball'
By Bill Simmons
Page 2 columnist

Is Hollywood really this dumb?

Chris Klein tries but just can't deliver a Keanu Reeves-esque
performance.

That's what I kept asking myself Monday as I struggled to remain
conscious during a screening of the reprehensible "Rollerball." Just so
you know, the previous sentence took nearly 20 minutes to write -- I
wanted to be absolutely certain that "reprehensible" was the best
possible adjective. So I hunted down my thesaurus (buried under a
phalanx of magazines and pictures) and searched for the perfect word to
describe one of the worst movies I have ever seen. And I mean ever.

Dreadful? Appallling? Putrid? Atrocious? Heinous? Execrable? Odious?
Abominable? Rancid? Horrific? Ghastly? None of them fit. And then I
found it ... reprehensible. Perfect. This movie was reprehensible. I
hated everything about it. There isn't a single reason you should see
this movie. Not one.

Back to my initial question ... is Hollywood really this dumb? Why does
a glorified remake get greenlighted in the first place? Why mess with
the original, which was only one of the 10 best sports movies of
all-time? If you're forging ahead with this crappy idea, why stray from
everything that worked in the original movie? Why make it with B-level
stars who can't act? Why release this thing at all, when the initial
test screenings were so negative that it delayed the release for six
full months?

Why is Hollywood this dumb? Why, why, why?

and lots more at http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/020214.html
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From: William Earl Haskell <forban@hal-pc.org>

Hollywood hasn't been able to turn out a really new story in years; all
they've been doing recently is churn out retreads of older shows, only
"new" and "updated." Lost In Space, George of the Jungle... the list
stretches out like a turdlink that won't quit. I think the suits in
charge have gotten to the point that they can't handle the *concept* of
an original idea. I'm waiting for a remake of My Mother The Car.

> Why is Hollywood this dumb? Why, why, why?

Because. That's why.
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From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

Thanks for the heads-up. Now I can go see "Queen of the Damned" instead, for 2
good reasons:

1) Vampire titty
2) I know how it ends: all vampire flicks end with 'em going up in flames or
disintegrating into dust or goo. Just like Pinks. Besides, Ayleah (sp and who
cares anyway) is already dead, so its even more creepy. Just like Pinks.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Aw, whatever happened
to our long lingering conversations
in the moonlight,
the way I would feed you masticated plums
like a mommy bird,
the way you'd tenderly stroke my scalp?
I'm so lonely now that you've taken up
with the Korean houseboy.
How can you be so enamored
of someone who has no hips? *SIGH*

"Mmmm, unexplained BACON...."
- my niece, 12

"It can giggle at us all it wants,
but the Galaxy's not gettin' any of our bourbon."
- "Enterprise

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Original file name: Hey Huey- Rollerball Q- answere - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:09