Futurama cancelled?

Date: Wed, Feb 13, 2002 1:37 PM

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

> http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=02/02/12/2158210&mode=thread&tid=129&threshold=1

I looked at that website and was most taken aback to see a huge flood
of letters (to the site) about how much they HATED Futurama, mostly
because they just didn't get it, although they were loathe to come out
and put it quite that bluntly. (They usually mentioned some really bad
and typical show as being "funnier.")

This, and the recent Bush drugs=terrorism speeches, and the busts of
the medical places in California, so creeped me out that I put the
petition link at the very tip top of SubSITE, and removed the American
flag background tile -- which, being a Dobbs Ikon in disguise, was
meant somewhat tweakedly in the first place. But now, i REALLY don't
want anybody getting the idea that the Church of the SubGenius is in
any way happy with the behavior of the Feds. And I DO want people
getting the impression that we "get" Futurama, even if we are only
SubGenii. We also "get" Family Guy and The 80s Show, and all that, we
just think they kinda suck in comparison.

I will admit that I am a bit biased by the fact that Matt Groening, the
creator of Futurama, has always been friendly towards the Church, and
nobody else at Fox comedy shows ever has. And I really, REALLY
appreciate that there has never been a mean throw-away line about the
Church on The Simpsons.

The Fucking Fucks! "The nail that sticks up will be hammered down"
indeed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Chas. 'Mark' Bee" <c-bee1@uiuc.edu>

The 80s are my favorite decade and music, but I *still* don't get the
80s show.

In fact, I'm starting to wonder if there are any jokes in there at all.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: thefridayjones@hotmail.com (Friday Jones)

> I will admit that I am a bit biased by the fact that Matt Groening, the
> creator of Futurama, has always been friendly towards the Church, and
> nobody else at Fox comedy shows ever has. And I really, REALLY
> appreciate that there has never been a mean throw-away line about the
> Church on The Simpsons.

You must have missed the one where Homer sets up a 900-number selling
"Eternal Happiness or THREE TIMES your money back!"

The business is a failure, I believe ...

---

"Never in all my life have I written a letter to a journalistic
publication, and I certainly do not intend to start now."
-- Ed Ames
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

Modemac says...

>If this is true, then it's sad news...though you can be sure they'll
>be airing reruns for a long time. But these 'save our favorite TV
>show' campaigns are a load of bollocks...I learned that one almost ten
>years ago when I participated in a campaign to save the Animaniacs
>show.

Considering how the evening cartoons, even Zim, are being boned in series, I
suggest that a MAJOR petition be mounted to get Comedy Central to take them on,
your point about their basic futility against economics & network politics
accepted.

Its the logical outlet and likely to allow these fairly cheap-to-produce items
to continue with new episodes to some extent. Its the WRITING and not really the
animation that sells them, after all...

Fox preempted Futurama so often with fucking sports, it surely lost viewers by
breaking the cycle of habituation required. Splice that onto the network battles
not to allow unionization of animators and you see the damnedable pattern. The
Cartoon Channel is a kiddie mess I avoid, but I would pay for the next tier of
cable UP to get a couple of 4-hr blocks of PERVERSE cartoons. Hell, my niece of
12 cares jack for most cartoons. Her choices? Digimon and all of the SICK,
ADULT-y ones WE like.

Let's see, Family Guy, Ripping Friends, Invader Zim, maybe the rather surreal
Fairly Odd Parents, King of the Hill (yeah, I know Fox has that sewn up for now)
plus the film-noir-ish Batman goods, Batman Beyond, Justice League, the old
Fireball XL5, Stingray & Thunderbirds thrillers, Ren & Stimpy and a serious
outlet for new items in these realms? Yeah, I'd pay for that.

What's your best suggestion for a starting point and PATH of attack that would
perhaps put this idea before both CC and a group of fans larger than the
individual petitions can seemingly garner?

Yeah, its JUST damned cartoons, but its part of my RELIGION, so EIEIEIEI!!!

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Honest, officer,
her head was already smushed when I got here

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds,
there is a woman giving birth to a child.
She must be found and stopped."
- Sam Levenson

Could you please stop
the gentle rise & fall of your bosom?
- Drew Carey

"It's like giving a shark a submachine gun!"
- "Malcolm In The Middle"

renew Futurama here:
http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/si
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)

HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> wrote in message news:<a4fg830131n@drn.newsguy.com>...
> Cartoon Channel is a kiddie mess I avoid, but I would pay for the next tier of
> cable UP to get a couple of 4-hr blocks of PERVERSE cartoons

Dexter's Lab and Johnny Bravo are worth watching. They're both geeks like we are.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> wrote:

> Yeah, its JUST damned cartoons, but its part of my RELIGION, so EIEIEIEI!!!

Exactly. Yesterday, after I put the Futurama petition link at the top
of SubSITE, I thought, of course, being the SIMP that I am, "Gee, we
never did that when there was a terrible earthquake or a disaster, when
we could have put a link to "help the victims." No, WE only do it for a
stupid CARTOON. We COULD have links to the Do Gooder's League of Earth
but NO, we just advertise our FRIENDS and talk about MONSTERS and COMIC
BOOKS and TITTIES and DRUGS all day. We COULD have a "click here to
fight hunger" link but NO, it's a "click here to save a STUPID CARTOON
link."

And then I remembered the one thing "Bob" says that ALWAYS works, EVERY
TIME, for EVERYBODY:

"FUCK "EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE."

We are here to deliver SLACK. Others can deliver aid and food and
counselling and money and prayers and love and all that, but SOMEBODY
HAS TO DELIVER THE SLACK and the SLACK ALONE, or NONE of the rest will
survive in a form worth keeping. SOMEBODY HAS TO THINK ABOUT THE LONG
TERM. And so, Slack comes first NOW, that it may continue to come first
ONE MILLION YEARS from now. WE ARE THOSE GUARDIANS.

Which brings us back to Futurama. It's educational.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

> Dexter's Lab and Johnny Bravo are worth watching. They're both geeks like we are.

Our man on the inside says that Futurama is not actually necessarily
cancelled -- they, the Fox execs, (or "FUX" as Deep Throat calls them),
always do this so they can later blame the animators for running late.
This happened with The Simpsons a lot too, I'm told. The execs hate
Groening's shows because the cartoonists don't follow exec suggestions,
and it is a constant battle to get anything done without a bad taint of
Pinkness. Apparently it's an "office working suit wearing person thing"
and I wouldn't understand.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com>

> >Great Cthulhu's Balls, why can't we have a SubGenius channel?
>
> Because one of our Yeti number was once denied employment with a place
> requiring a security clearance... due to affiliation with a "subversive"
> organization. Which was, you guessed it, the CotSG. Its a Pink thing.
>
> Besides, we're all too broke to buy a satellite uplink and pay the liscenses,
> which is part of what MAKES us subversive to those guys.

Why can't this SubGenius thing pick up some rich benefactors?

-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

There have been TWO potential rich benefactors -- but, I swear to God,
both of these two born-rich millionaires expected to meet "Bob". That
was where the whole thing fell apart. They were TOO DUMB to realize
that one little fact about "Bob" -- that he's too Slackful even for
them. And they were, I could tell, TERRIBLY disappointed to find that
the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow was, instead, just the
scraggy froppy smell on a hippie in tennis shoes with a disgracefully
rusty van.

I have since repainted my van, but I doubt if those two dumbshits ever
got any smarter. I can tell *I* haven't. But, I'm much richer than they
are; neither of these guys possessed a single Yeti gene, much less a
Space Princess wife.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Lou Scannon <scannon@lmountain.com>

Well, damn Stang, you find some guy and dress him up in a BoB suit!!
Problem solved , give 'em what they need,they get a one time meeting ,
all future dealing will be by phone or e-mail and the checks in the
mail.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Geoff Bronner <geoff.bronner@dartmouth.edu>

True.... no mean lines. But a few more funny ones about the CoSG would
have been good too.

What I appreciate it that he has been merciless on the Scientologists
even while having one on the payroll.

-G

--
<http://www.dartmouth.edu/~geoffb/>
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

>Why can't this SubGenius thing pick up some rich benefactors?

Hell, you've SEEN a lot of us and you're on alt.slack. Why do ya THINK?

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Director of "Alien Anime Sextopus"

"In order for me to get busy at maximum efficiency,
I need a girl with a big 400-ton booty."
- Bender

You've heard the one about
Hillary whispering to Bill
"Give me ten inches and hurt me!"
So he made love to her twice
and appointed David Gergen
White House communications director.
- P. J. O' Rourke

"That looks like a bowling ball with a butt crack,"
-Sarah, referring to Judy's plum

More Truth by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
http://espn.go.com/page2/s/thompson/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)

What about all that money Stang has! I hear he has a swiming pool in his
basement filled with crisp $50 and $100 Bills that he swims in naked every
night!

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"Just think, the next time I shoot someone I could get arrested!"

Lt. Frank Drebin, "The Naked Gun"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v4.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Which explains the horrific, whole-body paper cut
scarification/black ink tattoo effect, and why he
always smells so minty-fresh.

--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"

--Kino Beman, brand name
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com>

HellPope Huey wrote:

> Hell, you've SEEN a lot of us and you're on alt.slack.

Yeah, I know what you mean... heh heh... this is alt.slack

THEREFORE

By association, whatever I think is instantly rendered meaningless the
moment I hit the enter key.

Shucks.

> Why do ya THINK?

I don't know how to not think when I'm awake. I'm not sure why. Then again,
maybe I just think I don't know.

-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: thereheis99@hotmail.com (Rev. Crawford)

> The 80s are my favorite decade and music, but I *still* don't get the
> 80s show.
>
> In fact, I'm starting to wonder if there are any jokes in there at all.

The whole decade was the joke. Looks like the schtick is in the
process of being repeated, unfortunately. Look for a new, updated
version of the "Preppy Handbook" to be a bestseller by the end of the
year. Ahhhh, scheisse. I watched "Better Off Dead" last night for the
first time in umpteen-and-a-half years, and while the movie is still
really funny and slightly surreal, observing the fashions and music
incidental to this movie, I concluded that the 80's are a time period
better off dead.

Reagrding petitions, write-in campaigns and other means of attempting
Fox to retain Futurama, don't hold your breath. The decision to cancel
the show was a BIZNESS decision; Fox feels they can make more money
without Futurama, so away it goes. The people who made this decision
went to the same bizness schools as Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling, the
bottom line is their God and no amount of mortal protest is going to
veer them from worshipping that God in the most profitable way
possible. Let's just hope they decide that releasing the unaired
episodes on DVD or VHS will help boost their income projections enough
for them to bother to do so.

Grump, grump, grump, piss, moan, complain. Sorry folks, didn't get
much sleep last night, Li'l "Bob" crapped all over his cage, and the
Duke of Uke is coming into town and will invariably drag me to some
pestilential Nogales opium-den-cum-donkey-show, so forgive my minor
spleen ventilation. Blah.

YFNR

Rev. Crawford

BTW - What other throw-away jokes at the Church's expense have there
been?
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

>What about all that money Stang has! I hear he has a swiming pool in his
>basement filled with crisp $50 and $100 Bills that he swims in naked every
>night!

He made me pay him $10 for a video of it and I'd never have coughed it up if he
hadn't said it was "Bob's" baby pictures. He's learned from Dobbs FAR too well.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
I'd rather busk as a white-face mime in Compton

"Lots of crazy people have gone on
to lead normal, successful lives."
- "Family Guy"

A lot of people out there think
'Easy Rider' had a happy ending.
- P. J. O' Rourke

"The human race is a race of fools
and not only do I march in that parade,
I carry a banner."
- Mark Twain
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

palimpsest <angkorw@temple.com.plex> wrote:

> http://www.upcomingmovies.com/scoobydoo.html
>
> Matthew Lillard (Shaggy), Sarah Michelle Gellar (Daphne), Freddie Prinze,
> Jr. (Fred), Rowan Atkinson (Emile Mondavarious), Linda Cardellini (Velma),
> Scott Innes (voice of Scooby-Doo), Isla Fisher (Mary Jane); other cast not
> announced yet.
>
> Animation Note: This movie will be live-action with CGI animation for
> Scooby-Doo and possibly other characters (ghosts, boogie-men, etc.).
>
> Release Date: June 14th, 2002

And this post was followed on my download by the one titled "FUTURAMA
CANCELLED"

First a trumped up "war," then they cancel Futurama, then they jackboot
the cancer and aids patients in California, and now this -- a SCOOBY
DOO MOVIE on which will be spent UNTHINKABLE MILLIONS OF VALUABLE
DOLLARS.

I fucking GIVE UP!!

"Lo, for my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge," Hosea 12:13

Well, all my old friends that vanished into the bowels of Hollywood,
wanting to be Oliver Stone, will still be able to get jobs in CGI
factories, making Scooby Doo look perfect.

All that money could have gone instead into... well, making, oh, say, a
CGI "Bob" Dobbs look perfect.

PHOOEY, I say. PHOOOEY!!

I am going to stop this whining now and go back to working on my own
CGI Dobbs and my own little escapist CGI Dobbstowns, and (today's
project) the long slow disolve between the Original BoSG Dobbshead, the
Ken Huey Color Dobbshead, the Vandewalker High Con Color Dobbshead,
the Funway Dobbshead, the Nenslo Hyperrealistic Dobbshead, and a couple
of later Nenslo robo-Dobbshead variations. (They all have the exact
same proportions so it should make for an extremely seamless graual
metamorphosis, much less cross-dissolve misplacement than in the
typical Lon Chaney Jr. -to- Wolfman transformation scene, where it was
impossible to get Lon's eyes, mouth, etc. exactly lined up between
applications of spirit gum, crepe hair, nose putty and paint.

FUCK the Conspiracy. I'll watch my own god damn TV even if I have to
make the animation myself, FRAME BY FUCKING FRAME. Those hippies at
Winterstar will like it too. They'd BETTER.... grrr... arrrghh...
urrrr....

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Original file name: Futurama cancelled.txt - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:09