Sex in Public Places

From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)
Date: Thu, Jan 17, 2002 1:34 PM

BERLIN (Reuters) - Norwegians have the world's strongest yearning for
sex in public places, according to a survey published in Germany.

The survey by a publisher of romance novels of 6,600 people from 20
countries found Norwegians were more likely to have sex in public
places than any other nationality -- 66 percent said they had had such
sexual encounters.

The places where the sex took place included cars, trains, airplanes,
beaches, parks, changing rooms, offices and libraries.

Australians came in second with 64 percent, Greeks were third at 60
percent, Sweden and Argentina were tied for fourth at 55 percent while
Germany was fifth with 47 percent.

The survey by the Cora publishing house questioned about 400 people in
each country, spokeswoman Nina Steinhart said.

At the bottom of the list was France. Only 13 percent of the French
surveyed said they had had sex in public places -- even fewer than the
15 percent of Canadians and 21 percent of Americans.

[Does Brushwood count as a "public place?"]
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Gunnar Gunnarsson <gunnar@gunnar.no>

rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885) said:
>Norwegian beaches? A guy could freeze his lutefisks on Norwegian beaches!

Yah, sher, but NOT if yer upp ta yer lutefisks in some hot steamy NorYeti
Poosy. Thet'ss the hole point, ya see what I mean?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: shinpath@gol.com (SPLR Ministries, Western Japan)

modemac@modemac.com (Modemac) wrote:
>BERLIN (Reuters) - Norwegians have the world's strongest yearning for
>sex in public places, according to a survey published in Germany.

They didn't interview any Japanese. They are really into doing it in
public parks at night, so much so that they attract a special type
of perv who just likes to watch couples going at it (without
interfering).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: fossil_1984@hotmail.com (The Anti-Reagan)

rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885) wrote...
> Norwegian beaches? A guy could freeze his lutefisks on Norwegian beaches!

Most of Njorwei has roughly the same climate as Seattle. Not that
*that's* particularly comfortable either,

(And no, don't ask.)

Chaos.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> wrote:
> In article <3C4883E6.62FB2FF0@SkepticTank.ORG>, "Fredric says...
> >Modemac wrote:
> >> BERLIN (Reuters) - Norwegians have the world's strongest yearning for
> >> sex in public places, according to a survey published in Germany.
> >
> >Does the White House count as a public place?
>
> How about the spook show ride at a cheap traveling carnival where you jump out
> and give the rubes a REAL ride by Riding the Wild Butt in the vampire coffin
> so the kids have a better idea of what's what than seeing two goats go at it
> like wild Filipinos in a reworked boxing ring on the fringe of some tropical
> hellhole? Its squirtastic!

Huey, I can't wait for you to finish your autobiography. I'm already
trying to figure out who would play you. We can't do it the way it
SHOULD be done because Harryhausen's too old.

Does a webcam count as a public place? I heard tell that the SubGenius
webcam gang had been leaving their cams on at inopportune times and
then decided they kinda LIKED it that way!

Speaking of sex in a public place, you know that one time, that one
7:13 a.m., one July 5, 1998 I think it was, when those MUSCULAR
REDHEADED SUBGENIUS GIRLS grabbed me and manhandled me and stripped me
while those great big Luciferian Army guys pinned my arms back so I
couldn't "struggle," and then Legume and them poured that motor oil all
over my hair? And all 350 fucked up SubGeniuses were hooting and
bleating mockingly at my nakedness as they pushed me into the reeking
fetid pond?

Man, I CAME!!

and YOU ALL HELPED!!!

AHAHAHAHAHA

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang says...
>Huey, I can't wait for you to finish your autobiography. I'm already
>trying to figure out who would play you. We can't do it the way it
>SHOULD be done because Harryhausen's too old.

My AUTOBIOGRAPHY!? Yeah, right. And every duped tape/disc would come with a
free atropine syrette so you could JAM IT INTO YOUR FUCKING HEART BEFORE THE 20
SECONDS WERE UP. Eh, I dunno...there's computer animation like on "Butt Ugly
Martians."

Its been FUN, but even though I met Zappa and I been up in the Goodyear Blimp
and down scuba divin' on sides of de' USA and scarred many, many children on
Halloweens past, can we really fill an hour or so with that stuff? Some of the
truth is too bland and some too HIDEOUS. C'mon, Stang, gird yourself, we could
do it up as "Martian Peen Worm II."

Um, say, does "public sex" include that time on Mars, once in the attic of KPFT
in 1984 and 2 instances in tents at X-Days?

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Creator of the Teleporting Cat Box

"...and always remember
the last words of my grandfather,
who said 'A truck!'..."
- Emo Philips

"If you want to know what God thinks of money,
just look at the people He gave it to."
- Dorothy Parker

"You cannot drink
the cup of the Lord
and the cup of demons."
- I Corinthians
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

In article <q0ck4uslu3pm0sovknfn1mvg3ad6vi1tvj@4ax.com>, K*v*n says...
>Me and my girl used to sneak onto the greens at a local golf course. That was
>cool unless the sprinklers came on.

"Girl," my ass, you festering mug of yeast. Befouling the hole you cut in the
ass of that life-sized 'Chucky' doll doesn't count as real sex. You reek of
sour-grape virginity and are regularly rejected by your own hands. We have
video. The camera is in the left eye of your stuffed Benji. Smoke dung cigars,
Sparky! Surrender, Dorothykins! Bush Number One, K*v*n Number 10! USA, USA!!

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Creator of the Teleporting Cat Box

"...and always remember
the last words of my grandfather,
who said 'A truck!'..."
- Emo Philips

"If you want to know what God thinks of money,
just look at the people He gave it to."
- Dorothy Parker

"You cannot drink
the cup of the Lord
and the cup of demons."
- I Corinthians 10:20-
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: priestesspisces@hotmail.com (Priestess Pisces)

"Ricky Nielsen" <rickyn@lor.net> wrote...
> > On Sat, 19 Jan 2002 10:00:56 GMT, Ricky Nielsen <rickyn@lor.net> wrote:
> >
> > > Got it my first time in a graveyard
>
> Actually it was a favorite High school drinking and smoking and screwing
> spot/ the cops never looked for us there.

we in falwellville had a couple of spots for such things, suicide hill
off in fairview, was an old service road from when they built the
expressway, the pavement dead ended but you coudl get a pick up up
further and it became a dirt road.
i got caught in the act there... by some local old man who used the
road to throw away old junk like fridges and shit...
(btw you should have seen the look on his face... 17 yr old chick ,
her black mini-dress pulled up over her breasts getting banged on the
hood of a cherry of a camero... i reckon it was like a wonderful porno
for him, which maybe why he never actually said a word.. i only
noticed him because i glanced up)

(ANYWAY- not i stop daydreaming again)

we also had not one but TWO county route 666, see falwellville is a
city in the midst of several counties (4 to be exact), so the odds
were pretty good for that sorta thing...

the one rt666 the pavement ended as it crossed a creek .. the creek
was shallow and you coudl get cross pretty easy, so most folks just
drove thru, and the road continued on the other side... (this is where
i drank lots of everclear and jumped in the freezing creek because i
thought my companions had killed an otter by throwing a rock at it and
i was DETERMINED to save its precious otter life)

the other 666 was an according to legend near a meeting spot for the
klan, i used to go up there to get stoned a lot, but one nite after
getting stoned and having a bit of oral fun with a freind we heard
"YOU FUCKING HIPPIES GET THE HELL OFF MY LAND OR I WILL SHOOTCHA
DEAD." followed by the distinctive sounds of a shotgun... which is a
shame since i used to love the place since that is where i first saw
the strange lights in the sky that i have dreamed of ever since...

which brings me to a odd thought.. knowing the residents of the area
to be firmly set in there stupidity and most certainly rednecks.. AND
knowing i saw strange lights in the sky in that area as well...
Is it indeed true then.. that aliens only abduct dumb rednecks?

i mean an anal probe would certainly explain the behavior of the man
as he shot at us.. hell, an anal probe is enough to make anyone
cranky.

Priestess Pisces
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

priestesspisces@hotmail.com says...
>i mean an anal probe would certainly explain the behavior of the man
>as he shot at us.. hell, an anal probe is enough to make anyone
>cranky.

That's because country po'buckers always use the SHOTGUN method, which denies
anyone involved any chance of enjoying it. Proof Packet #376 of Why Hyoo-Mons
Suck.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
It takes leather balls to play rugby and
a leather heart to be a politician,
but it takes a leather BRAIN to be a SubGenius

"Humanity is inherently evil.
(It has something to do with opposing thumbs.)"
-Sean Scott

"Menopause hit her hard
and then dragged her for 50 yards."
- "Drew Carey"

"I think I hate the pity more than the puke."
- "The Ripping Friends
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: thecompound@ispwest.com (Jillie)

modemac@modemac.com (Modemac) wrote...
> BERLIN (Reuters) - Norwegians have the world's strongest yearning for
> sex in public places, according to a survey published in Germany.

The beach wasn't 'romantic'.
I was on top and my legs kept digging into the sand. By the time we
were done I was practically standing with two big holes on either side
of him.
I felt like a sea turtle plopping out her eggs.
Then I squirmed off him and shimmied on my tummy to the water line,
where I slipped into the Gulf of Mexico.

HeadMrs. Salacia the Overseer
Keeper of the Seven Squeals & Director of Programming
Branch Salacians

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Original file name: Sex in Public Places.txt - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:07