Post Office Box Problems

Date: Mon, Feb 11, 2002 10:42 AM

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

nu-monet v4.0 <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:

> Rev. Magdalen wrote:
> >
> > Hitler!
>
> Speaking of which, the Xistmas presents I sent to
> you and Jesus were just returned by the P.O.
> It was pretty damn obvious that they didn't *want*
> to deliver them. Had "SUBGENIUS" marked on the
> package in about six places BY THEM. They even had
> the gall to mark *multiple* reasons why they couldn't
> deliver. "No such person", "No such address", *and*
> "Unclaimed".
> They also opened it to look inside and did a crummy
> job of re-wrapping the contents.
> And no, before you ask, it was not marked with any
> cutesy stickers or warning labels or biohazard signs
> or crap like that.
> Bastards.

How things have changed. Back in the Day, you could address a letter to
""BOB" or "SUBS" at the WRONG po box, the WRONG FUCKING ZIP CODE EVEN,
and it would STILL get to that 75214 post office and our box.

One of the first things that Onan ever sent to the Sacred PO Box was a
ping pong ball with a stamp on it, a tiny address written on it, along
with a tiny tiny letter. EVERY package we got was decorated WILDLY, it
seemed. (I.e., every package looked like the ones that only Huey and
Susie the Floozie do now, covered with collages). Some of the art in
Book of the SubGenius came off ENVELOPES from Mavrides or Howll. And
the postal employees LOVED it. We were famous and beloved by them
BECAUSE of our weird, creative clientelle. The PO folks and me all knew
each other by name and there was only one FUCK wporking there who hated
us, but his coworkers hated him, and anyway he died 10 days after he
retired, and EVERYONE LAFFED AND LAFFED.

That was the Day, though.

That Bob Black guy got drunker than usual once, wrote a quite serious
drunken letter about how he was going to kill himself, but first he
would kill Nenslo... and then mailed this letter to ME, his other
arch-enemy. Black got both our Box and Zip numbers wrong, yet the
death-suicide threat got to me nonetheless. 3 weeks later. I treasure
that letter.

The Alternate Sacred PO Box here in Cleveland seems okay, though it's
not a good way to send swag to Jesus or Mag. (No is the Dallas PO Box a
good way to send swag to me.) However, money OR swag can be sent to me;
I forward tiny trickles of money to the Lord's secret address every
week anyway.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB

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Original file name: PO Probs.txt - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:07