Sex Surgery

From: iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Apr 7, 2002 10:15 PM
Message-ID: <76963B9BD539EF41.2BD7EF69286D86A5.79F9AF517A486A75@lp.airnews.net>

I wonder if it's possible to transplant a vagina into both palms. I had
carpal tunnel surgery, and it would seem like it should be an easy
feat. Twin cooters at the ready. Available whenever you are. Never
have to leave the house. No jealousy, switch midstream if you like,
play eenie meenie miney mo, whatever. Amuse yourself on public
transportation. Etc.

I would call it a HANDGINA.

[*]
-----

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sex Surgery
From: "nu-monet v4.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Oh, great. And once a month you get surrounded by
religious fanatics who think you have stigmata.

Personally, I think having 5 penii that rapidly spring
from the back of your hand, like "Wolverine", would do it.

You gotta admit it would be a conversation stopper.
What do you say when someone thrusts five erect penii
in your face?

If you showed people your handginas, they would just
think you were a space alien or the guy from "Vampire
Hunter D", or something.

--
The future is either
AgriPetro-Mercantilism, or
Globalist Darwinism.
Choose.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------

Subject: Re: Sex Surgery
From: Unit 4 <UnitIV@Sputum.COM>

And once a month you gotta shove a roll of toilet paper thru each hand.

Gonna play hell with your typing.

In your case, this might be OK.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sex Surgery
From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man)

yeah, and pack them with yogurt if they start to itch and stink. And
you'd have to buy them diamond rings and stuff, or they'd ball up into
fists, sulk and ignore you, and that would probably give you an
overpowering urge to ram your car into the wall of the garage. And
make you forget changing the oil - forever.

Nothing free on this planet.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sex Surgery
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Just keep your HANDGINA away from my neck's DIVERTER nozzle-hole. You
lesbian palmed prevert.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sex Surgery
From: sanfordandson40@hotmail.com (Kat Suit Model)

>
> I would call it a HANDGINA.

No good, man. Every time you went to Subway, you'd get a yeast infection.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sex Surgery
From: HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

>>>>I would call it a HANDGINA.

Well, you'd sure have to play the violin very, very carefully from that point
onwards. But then, you could do a crucifixion act at Devivals that would bring
in really big bucks. Hell, half the girls would be fighting the guys for a
chance to lick those puppies. You perverted bastard; now I have a stiffy, it was
brought on by YOUR HANDS and you haven't even had the SURGERY yet. I'm gonna
barf. Damn you, "Bob," your skullbuggery goes deep, so DEEEP, unh unh unh unh...

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
"I hate everyone "Bob,"
but I hate you a little less."
"That's good enough, Janor."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Sex Surgery
From: HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

In article <3CB1022F.5119@succeeds.com>, "nu-monet says...

>What do you say when someone thrusts five erect penii in your face?

"Get those damned things way from me, I ordered the SQUID platter!!"

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
"I hate everyone "Bob,"
but I hate you a little less."
"That's good enough, Janor."

My dog is worried about the economy
because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can.
That's almost $7.00 in dog money.
- Joe Weinstein

"There is no mystery prize;
they just made it up
to make kids work harder for no money."
- "Invader Zim"

Back to document index

Original file name: Sex Surgery - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:08