It's me vs. the Uber-Pink-Boy!

From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Mar 2, 2002

I am forced to work with a guy who I call the "Uber-Pink-Boy"

He taks three times as long as anyone else to get any work done, whine alls the
time if he can't get his way, takes 3 to 5 days extra vacation every year and
the Boss won;t do anything about it. He also openly mocks evrything and
everyone right in front of their faces (but only when teh Boss is not around)

So Frday the Boss skiped out early, and as soon as his car turned out onto teh
road, "Scott" started. He started making fun of his supervisor becuase he has a
speach problem. Makes fun of teh estimater becuase he talks like he's a homo
(but hes is not, just raised in a old "proper" southern home), but then he
started riding one me!

Unlike the rest of the office, who take his crap in silence, I always give back
to him what I get. But if I do, then poor "Scott" whines that I am being
unprofessional and that he is a "victom" , yadda, yadda, yadda.

Well, after I started giving the sass back to him that he was given to me, he
started to get real snotty! I throw a malted milk ball at him and he whine that
"I assulted him" and "I have been waiting for this"!

Well. the second one I took as a treat, I walked to the entrance of his cube,
stood there with my arms crossed and sayed.. "You got a problem? Soomething you
want to tell me?"

Old "Scotty" stood up and turned to me. "I said you want to fight me?" He kind
of got wide eyed. "Come one, take the first punch!" I said. Scott yelled out to
Ed, our supervisor, who he ussually mocks openly that he wanted him to see
this! Then little pink boy makes afist all by himself! And the cicks his arm
back like he was going to hit me. He was trying to provoke me into taking the
first swing!

Now I might not be the smartest guy, but I am no fool! I just stood there with
my arms at my side. I then told him to go ahead and ake the first punch!
"Scott" cocked hin arm backward a little more! "Come on ya little shit take a
punch at me!" At that time I took my glasses off and laid then down on a table
(keep in mind I had not entered his "cube")

"I'll even take my glasses off!, come on! You want to fight! Take the first
punch!" Becuase I know this guy is a little pink boy, I know he is too much of
a chicken shit to take a swing at me. And besides, I know enough basic
"Comatives" as they call them in the army to take hin down and do grevious
bodily harm to him! The Amry doest teach you to make a fist, the teach you to
beat then over the head with something!

Once I took my glasses off, Ed ran over and got between me and "scott', trying
to calm me down. But now my "blood as up" and was itching to either 1) provoke
him into taking that swing, 2) making him look like the chciken shit he really
is or 3) all of teh above!

I pushed ed aside , slowly walked into "Scott's" cube got with a foot of his
face and said to him "I you don't take that first punch your a pussy!" Of
course "Scott suddenly stopped being Buster Bad-Ass and become little Pink-Boy!
Ed finally got me away form teh cube. But Now that I made "Scot" look like athe
little shit he was, I began to give him a verbal thrashing! I questioned his
manhood, his sexual orientation, etc. Since he is "Mr. Fit" who goes to the
YMCA everynight, I used the referance to that fact that he only goes there to
drop his soap in teh shower! I even offered to go out and stand my my pickup,
which was off company property, so that he could coem out and take that first
swing at me! (also I have a very large wooden Amry Tent Stake made or oak in
the bed!)

Ed finally calmed me down. But "Scott" stormed out of the office. Now "scott"
is talking to his lawyer! He is "so threatened my the Hostile enviroemnt at
work (whcih he nurtured) that he threatend to sue me, Ed and the Company.

Unfortunalty we have three previous employees who left the company speciaficly
to get away form this little Pink!

So Monday is going to be good! I can't wait! I probally won;t get fired, But I
will have known that I hurt this guys Pink-Boy Manhood (if there is such a
thing). Now EVERYONE knows he's a chicken shit! So even If I DO loos thsi job,
its worth it!

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"Just think, the next time I shoot someone I could get arrested!"

Lt. Frank Drebin, "The Naked Gun"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: It's me vs. the Uber-Pink-Boy!
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Mar 3, 2002 2:42 AM
Message-ID: <3c81d393.94112513@News.CIS.DFN.DE>

mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters) hunched over
a computer, typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the
Monsters) laughed madly, then wrote:

>I am forced to work with a guy who I call the "Uber-Pink-Boy"

that's a pink boy for you

they use this half-assed vague aggressive shit only precisely to the
point of being COMPLETELY FUCKING ANNOYING but as soon as you call
them on it they go UTTERLY CHICKENSHIT

Let's face it. Most pink boys have never got weaned off their
mommies. period.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"He who has his hand in the water is not like him who has his hand in the fire"
- Syrian proverb

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com>

Philo at Hotmail wrote:

> Kick Ass Righteous Motherfucker!!! You really did the right thing. Hang in
> there. You don't care if you get fired from that fucking facist work
> environment anyway, do you? There's a lot of good places to work out there,
> man.
>
> Fuckheads like that should be manually selected from the gene pool.

I don't know, it's possible, if the guy can scam extra vacation and no one else
can, he might be a rewardian working his emergentile marks.

-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: wbarwell@starbase.neosoft.com (William Barwell)

In article <2k838u4t8qojnri6hm06a4kkp5d7im0bh6@4ax.com>,
Kevan <cuthulu@shreve.net> wrote:
>On 03 Mar 2002 01:16:02 GMT, mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of
>the Monsters) from AOL http://www.aol.com wrote:
>
>>thing). Now EVERYONE knows he's a chicken shit! So even If I DO loos thsi job,
>>its worth it!
>
>Gah. Cubicals turn people into evil rats in a cage. You're no better
>than the other fellow.

Warfarin in the pink rat's coffee cup.
Its the only way.

Cheerful Charlie
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

"James T. Rex King of the Monsters" <mshotz@aol.comnospam> wrote in message
news:20020302201602.17319.00000234@mb-cf.aol.com...
> I am forced to work with a guy who I call the "Uber-Pink-Boy"

Wow. I whiffread some awesome Irony Slack. Damn, I wish I could do it that
subtly. Great job.

alliekatt
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

> In article <050320020020173323%lilith@ZubJenius.com>, Her Ladyship
> Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote:
>
> > In article <a61er002uv3@drn.newsguy.com>, HellPope Huey
> > <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> wrote:
> >
> > > In article <YKCg8.11344$e07.1856@sccrnsc01>, "Philo says...
> > >
> > > > Come to think of it,
> > > >everyone in that entire story, protagonist excluded of course, were
> > > >complete
> > > >and utter assholes practically incapable of complex thought or basic
> > > >hygiene
> > > >much less worthy of extended philosophic discourse.
> > >
> > > When you talk that way, I come like a goddamned elephant. It was really
> > > great, but now who is going to wash my goddamned drapes?
> >
> > You know what's worse? I know how BOTH of you talk, so when I read the
> > lines above I feel this twitch of recognition and memory which makes me
> > black out and wake in a pool of blood which, judging from all signs,
> > SWEATS out of me. And now you know why I dress in black.
> >
>
> And I know how all three of you talk, and now I need a bucket and mop.

And I know how all four of you talk.

I just had to buy 400 gallons of silica gel and nine 100' rolls of industrial
strength blotting paper.

-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: It's me vs. the Uber-Pink-Boy!
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Mar 5, 2002 10:37 PM
Message-ID: <a642t002keq@drn.newsguy.com>

In article <050320021024171548%stang@subgenius.com>, Rev Stang says...
>And I know how all three of you talk, and now I need a bucket and mop.

And some mauve lipstick, too. You got a real purdy mouf.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Her little skirts were so short,
I could see all the way to Alberta.
That's how we fell in lurv for a while.

"Some folks are born, made to wave the flag,
Oh, they're red, white, and blue...
...But when the band plays,
They point a cannon at you."
-Credence Clearwater Revival,
"Fortunate Son"

"So how long do you usually make people your bitch?"
- "The West Wing"

"I don't want to be a pie!"
- "Chicken Run"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

In article <3C85795F.FE49BB2F@subgenius.com>, "Col. says...

>I just had to buy 400 gallons of silica gel and nine 100' rolls of industrial
>strength blotting paper.

You can sell that stuff on eBay for big bucks, you know. We're fucking well
superstars and our juices are worth plenty. I want a fair cut, too.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <3C85795F.FE49BB2F@subgenius.com>, Col. Sphinx Drummond
<sphinx@subgenius.com> wrote:

> I just had to buy 400 gallons of silica gel and nine 100' rolls of industrial
> strength blotting paper.

I just had a horrifying vision of all of us at XDV, laying on the
ground in a pool of blood, still twitching, and Frank Barney going, "Oh
shit, they finally done it."

I *hope* that wasn't one of my prophesies. It's hard to tell some days.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "glassgnost" <dlindnerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com>

"Joe Cosby" <joecosby@mindspring.com> wrote in message
news:3c85a74a.140808136@News.CIS.DFN.DE...
> HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> hunched over a
> computer, typing feverishly;
> thunder crashed, HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>
> laughed madly, then wrote:
>
> >I want a fair cut, too.
>
> We leave the punchline to this as an exercise for the student.

So many possibilities...

1. "You want fair? <insert name of nearest county fair here>'s THAT way".

2. <grasping Hellpope Huey by the lapels and shrieking> "You wanna talk
about fair? HUH? Let me TELL you about FAIR"!

3. <giving Hellpope Huey a demo of my finest finnish fillet knife>

Well, the knife demo would probably be about it, really...

--
Mystical Reverend Doktor glassgnost, Minister of Unnatural Selection

Eternal salvation or TRIPLE your money back!
www.subgenius.com

What would you do if the people you knew
Were the plastic that melted
And the chromium too? - Frank Zappa

- dlindner (at) socal (dot) rr (dot) com -

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Original file name: It's me vs. the Uber-Pink-Boy!. - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:06