SHUT UP

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Feb 6, 2002

In article <rY088.97$Qf2.121361@news.uswest.net>, Blackout
<blackout@404infomagic.net> wrote:

> "Kevan" wrote
>
> > > 5) It annoys Kee-vain.
> >
> > You don't annoy me in the least.
> >
> > Blessings to you.
>
> hellpope huey, meet bob dean jr.

When KeeKee first returned, I thought he WAS Dean in disguise, so
uncannily similar are their written inflections, tactics when
questioned, and general demeanor.

There are many other "SubGenius Kooks" out there, but lucky for you
alt.slack.fux, they don't post to Usenet. They email me or they phone
Magdalen. Or they phone in to Internet Radio talk shows.

There are three in Foundation-pestering mode right now who each think
they're Jesus, and three who think they're "Bob," or more precisely,
they think they are the current embodiment of the "Bob" essence.

We try to get these guys together, but they treat each other like
KOOKS! In fact they even make FUN of each other.

There is a great nonfiction book called THE THREE CHRISTS OF YPPSILANTI
about when some state looney-bin docs decided to treat their three
Christ-complex patients by having them all meet for an hour a day. The
book is basically a transciption of the meetings and the agruments
between the Jesii. It is fucking hilarious. I mean, FUCKING HILARIOUS.
Jesus #3 even rants at length about a Sacred Yeti Woman that he's
married to in the spirit.

I have now had 5 different people seriously inform me that they are the
Lord come again. The only one who ever DENIED being the Son of God was
was the Bevilacquean Jesus, which is how we know He is the One True
Christ.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <cbj16usbbp4slg7tuklm0pr97r6331enn2@4ax.com>, Kevan
<cuthulu@shreve.net> wrote:

> On 5 Feb 2002 22:20:41 -0800, HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>
> from Nuts For A Plutocratic Pluto wrote:
>
> >Besides, its hard not to have SOME sympathy for Kee-vain. Its pretty obvious
> >he was such a ponce in school, they stretched his bunghole over one end of a
> >see-saw, lined up and took turns jumping on the other end. Whatever was
> >wrong with him then was set in stone by the punishment and here he is today.
>
> You've been especially gleeful today. I'm glad you're having a good one.

Do I detect sarcasm?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: thereheis99@hotmail.com (Rev. Crawford)

Alecto <alecto@ureach.com> wrote in message news:<3C603FA9.9BA1142E@ureach.com>...
>
> I think YOU are the Real Nenslo.

Nonsense. The REAL Nenslo died in a motorcycle mishap in 1994.

True story. The talented SubG artist known as Nenslo (a/k/a KDV, a/k/a
The Southern Dandy) had just set out on his Sportster to attend the
annual motorcycle rally in Sturgis. He was just outside The Dalles,
proceeding at EXTREMELY high speed (well, as much as you can get outta
a Sportster, anyway) when he was cut off by a busload of dwarfs en
route to a field trip at the Bigfoot Museum - police later classified
this as a "freak accident." He lost control of his scooter and was
ejected over the guardrail, the westbound lanes of I-84 and into the
Columbia river. The Coast Guard managed to recover what was left of
the body two days later. As per his instructions, the remains were
cremated, mixed with epoxy, and crafted into a bust of Virginia Woolf
by some of the neighborhood children. This sculpture can still be seen
in front of the International House of Pancakes in Eugene, Oregon.

You're welcome.

-C
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

In article <060220021116129424%stang@subgenius.com>, "Rev. Ivan Stang" says...
>Do I detect sarcasm?

Well, we SHOULD give him SOME small credit for smiling through the pain. It
DOES take a real man to put on such a brave front when you can drop a basketball
into his bunghole and touch only net.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Recreation Director, Dildonia Prime

"Never trust anyone whose mouth goes
tighter than a chicken's asshole.
- William Murchison

"Indeed. There are many cruel Rooms in the mansion,
and many deep holes in the Road.
Keep alert or be stabbed."
- Hunter S. Thompson

Aside from the rodent droppings and shards of glass,
we have a mighty fine product.
- A button I just bought for $2

http://www.joebobbriggs.co
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

In article <3c6621a4.51776908@News.CIS.DFN.DE>, joecosby@mindspring.com says...

>I extend my butt cheeks and snap them shut on your head;
>metaphorically.

And then he blows a big brown bubble up your nether tube that rises and makes
your OTHER cheeks bulge in a mad, Zim-like fashion, scaring the children. Sorry,
but that's physics for you.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Time to make up some cocktail
for those damned hard-shelled Christacians

"You're a creature of the NIGHT!
Wait 'til MOM finds out!"
- "The Lost Boys"

"I'm sure you're all with me when I say
'Congratulations, you son of a bitch.'"
- "Family Guy"

"I like throwin' a bucket o' HATE out there!"
-Conan O'Brien
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <qmsa6uce3belfgnheslbtlrnkh46fbgh05@4ax.com>, Kevan
<cuthulu@shreve.net> wrote:

> Slavery Free Chocolate?

Shut THE FUCK up, "Billy Jack"!

Our Craving Fucker brand chocolate is made WITH little slave children
mixed in. These were the weaker slave children who could not keep up
with the stronger slave children. We leave the choice of who goes into
the vat up to the children themselves, so you can hardly call this a
FORCED explotation of human resources. For that matter, none of these
children are, technically, slaves at all, since they are paid, albeit
in cigarets and chocolate.

After X-Day, this won't be done with JUST the kidnapped children of
rich American and European industrialists, as it is now. It will be
done with ALL children whose parents did not support the Church by
purchasing at least one box of "Bob's" CHOCOLATE GOD the CRAVING FUCKER
at http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog.html

for their darling, on Valentine's Day, to prove their love.

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Original file name: Re- SHUT UP.txt - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:06