My Shiny New Kill File

From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Feb 12, 2002

"Mumthra" <mumthra@yoo-ess-ay.net> wrote in message
news:3c65ac38.25049308@news.mindspring.com...
> Any of the following will qualify you for my new kill file:
>
> A - Kissing Stang's ass

How else can one be approved by his hierarchy of peering Illuminati,
bodyguards, stockbrokers, and MiBs standing behind him, serving his every
whim, ready at his command?

> B - Quoting more than one screenful (25 lines for me) of text from
> the top of your post

I guess that 40 MB hard drive is pushed to the limit with the mail cache,
what with running DOS and Pong.

> C - Comparing Kevan* to anything

He's just a test subject for how well we can try to make Pink look colorful
and interesting.

> D - Other forms of Sloth as my moodswings dictate

uh huh.

> E - Politics of humans, Politics of Subgenius

With that ban in place, you'd be run out of an Irish pub faster than a Prod
walking in and asking for Pope Devil's Arse beer. Forget a Mutant Pub.

> F - URLs with no description or commentary

what, and spoil the surprise?

http://home.kimo.com.tw/netspooky/kikia/

> G - Discussions of jacking off that do not give equal time and
> enthusiasm to jilling off. Ditto, dick talk of any kind.

Except that most Church members ARE guys and HAVE dicks. And, have NO idea
what it feels like to have tits and a clit, and desperately wish at one
point or another in their lives that they did. So they stick with the
familiar.

If I sat here yappin' on about how great it is to have tits and a clit and
how much I like slapping it with or without company, the scary emails would
be enough for me to leave the dicks to themselves. So I have to scare the
scary dicks first before sharing the tits with the Worthy. And I'd say one
out of ten dick talkers here is Worthy, which is actually a far higher ratio
than the one out of six billion that surf porn chatrooms. The rest can wish
and keep dick talking for all I care, they ain't gettin' any and need some
outlet. At least it ain't guns.

Enjoy your 3-post-a-day newsgroup featuring lobster thermidore ecrovettes
served in a truffle-shell manner with bearnaise sauce and a fried egg on top
and spam.

alliekatt
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <130220020840230460%lilith@ZubJenius.com>, Her Ladyship
Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

> In article <%Ila8.10904$Vt3.4065@nwrddc01.gnilink.net>, Alliekatt
> <alleykatzen@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> > Enjoy your 3-post-a-day newsgroup featuring lobster thermidore ecrovettes
> > served in a truffle-shell manner with bearnaise sauce and a fried egg on top
> > and spam.
>
> Damn you for critiquing Mumthra's delightfully absurd killfile
> qualifications THEN ending it by violating my ONLY killfile
> qualification. Goddamn Python quotes make my stomach lining shed, and
> I've got chronic diverticulitis. Grr and stuff.

Will you all please stop your yammering, and go back to jacking off my
joke of a dick while kissing my ass in a kev-like manner?

By the way, I think those Conservatives are FUX and those Liberals are
SHITZ, not that anyone asked.

Hey, guess what:
http://www.dolemite.com/createarhyme2.htm

P.S. Here's some Furry fanfic, starring me:

The Briny New Smarm-Rifle
by The Great Ivan Stang

Ni!

The End

P.S.S. "F'EITCTAJ" :> :) ;) :?

++
__

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: slaac@yahoo.com (Rev. Lemuel Atom)

mumthra@yoo-ess-ay.net (Mumthra) wrote in message news:<3c65ac38.25049308@news.mindspring.com>...

> Any of the following will qualify you for my new kill file:

Well, that just about covers the fuckin' waterfront, don't it?
Whyncha save yourself the hassle and just quit reading the newsgroup?

SPECIAL MESSAGE TO PEE LIL: Albatross!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Two Beans" <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:130220021407065792%stang@subgenius.com...
> P.S.S. "F'EITCTAJ" :> :) ;) :?

Great, someone broke the Stang. Does anyone know how expencive it is to get
a replacement?!

--
Two Beans
http://www.eyeofthewarp.com/twobeans
http://www.eyeofthewarp.com/nhgh
http://mp3.com/twobeans

"There, the spark leaps to life. The Golden Age quivers on the brink of
creation. Live, my machine! Live my savior! You have my breath... You have
my dream, my dream."
-The Residents, "Failure / Reconstruction" from the album Mark of the Mole
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "The Not Quite Sane One" <klyf3-hahnospamneenerneener-@juno.com>

"Two Beans" <twobeans@godhatesyou.com> wrote in message
news:a4f2as02mc8@enews2.newsguy.com...
> Great, someone broke the Stang. Does anyone know how expencive it is to get
> a replacement?!

$30 ?

--
Rev. St. Klyf "Not Max Cannon" the Not-Quite-Sane, ESB

This signature intentionally left blank.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

"Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench" <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote in message
news:130220020840230460%lilith@ZubJenius.com...
> Damn you for critiquing Mumthra's delightfully absurd killfile
> qualifications THEN ending it by violating my ONLY killfile
> qualification.

lol sorry, I can't resist further annoying the annoyed, even if the
annoyance is pseudoannoyance. Except that sometimes mutual pseudoannoyance
can annoy the as-of-yet not-yet-annoyed.

...

My brain hurts!

alliekatt
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

In article <130220021407065792%stang@subgenius.com>, "Rev. Ivan Stang" says...

>Will you all please ... go back to jacking off my
>joke of a dick while kissing my ass

Not only am I too old to contort quite that completely anymore, but a binary of
us in a duo-jerk would decimate alt.slack, blinding any who viewed it.

I'd also prefer not to have my lips seared shut by misusing them so badly God
zapped me. Some things, like The Tick eating a kitten, would be just plain
WRONG. I'm a lot more for steamin' sex fun than some might think, but stepping
too far outside not only gender, location and timing but the NATURAL ORDER is
too much to ask.

In the middle of the week, anyway. Call me Friday night and we'll talk. Call me
Friday and we'll fight. Hell, call me Friday and SHE'LL kill BOTH of us. But
call me Sugardrawers and I'll go all creamy. Tee hee hee....

"Now giggle like Michael JACKson for me, you little BITCH!" "Yes MA'AM, Sir!"

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Honest, officer,
her head was already smushed when I got here

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds,
there is a woman giving birth to a child.
She must be found and stopped."
- Sam Levenson

Could you please stop
the gentle rise & fall of your bosom?
- Drew Carey

"It's like giving a shark a submachine gun!"
- "Malcolm In The Middle"

renew Futurama here:
http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> got crazy with the cheez whiz and
wrote in message news:130220021407065792%stang@subgenius.com...

eki-eki-eki-p-ting bing burbmbmhm uhm.

> P.S.S. "F'EITCTAJ" :> :) ;) :?

Djeth. ETHOOI !

the lame geek that was once alliekatt
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

In article <f9a02c0.0202131715.23f8ab31@posting.google.com>, kconvery@ioma.com
says...
>Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote...
>> Damn you for critiquing Mumthra's delightfully absurd killfile
>> qualifications THEN ending it by violating my ONLY killfile
>> qualification. Goddamn Python quotes make my stomach lining shed,
>
> "Don't come here with that posh talk, ya nasty stuck-up TIT!"

You TAKE THAT BACK! We all have nasty moments we'd SOMETIMES like to delete,
but Lil is not at ALL stuck-up and has TWO! Hell, maybe three, I don't do no
bodice-divin' there...they say Sphinx has two wangs, but who knows?

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com

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Original file name: Re- My Shiny New Kill File.txt - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:06