From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@attbi.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Dec 5, 2001 6:10 PM
Just in time for Xistmas -- we now have stockings, teddy bears, ornaments, and steins-- all emblazoned with the True Dobbshead! The perfect addition to that gift purchase of a membership for someone you love! Go to www.subgenius.com/scatalog.html RIGHT NOW and BUY BUY BUY! Remember -- the deadline for Xistmas delivery is Dec. 17, so don't wait! Free toy with purchase still available -- click the special banner to get one!
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From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@attbi.com>
Date: Wed, Dec 5, 2001 7:02 PM
Using my special l33t access code, I see that someone
has already purchased the lovely Xistmas Stein! Are
YOU going to let THAT person be the only one with a
stein this year?? Hell no! Whoever it is will probably
bring it to X-Day and show it off! You will want to
be able to say "Oh yeah, I have one of THOSE.
I've also got the TEDDY BEAR too!" Remember
-- these products are only available for a limited
time! After this, they will probably NEVER be sold
again! You may want to buy a dozen and keep them to
sell on Ebay as collectors items!
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Subject: Re: NEW ITEMS AT SUBGENIUS STORE!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
That's right, Magdalen! But those looking for Christmas gifts that will last forever in the hearts of those who receive them, should click over to Connivin' Ivan's where they find TWO STUDIO ALBUMS ON CD by EINSTEIN'S SECRET ORCHESTRA! That's right, the Church is now licensed to sell, for a limited time only, these special edition silver-blue plated CDs of the TREASURED classic ESO hits of yore. Remember "Iodine 101" and "Living in Arizona?" Remember how you fell in love to the strains of "Jaguar Night" and "I Am a Clone?" Remember jacking off to pictures of the violin and bass players? Well, now you can do that very thing all over and over again with this classic set, "SEX IN ANOTHER DIMENSION" and also "WITCH DISCO," ESO's all-instrumental album. Say, did you know that ESO was voted Cleveland's Best Electronic and Instrumental Band? Well, they were, Magdalen. Yes indeed. (Turn back to camera.) And now these classic tunes can be yours just by calling this number. Now, these aren't the scratchy live devival recordings you heard on those bootlegged SubGenius radio shows, Mags. No way. These are polished studio mixes created by the finest Swiss wine makers. And at only $14.95 -- ONLY $14.95!!! -- how can you possibly go wrong. This is the gift for that someone special in your life. And Ivan's Elves are standing by to fill your order on a RUSH BASIS.
But say, Magdalen, what's this I hear about the new
INSTA-DELIVERY tracking system that practically beams
a Membership Pack to your loved one's doorstep moments
after you order it online?
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas,
TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
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Subject: Re: NEW ITEMS AT SUBGENIUS STORE!
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@attbi.com>
>
That's right, Stang! The moment you place your order,
thousands of Pinks begin to prepare it for delivery.
If you choose the "Overnight Shipping" choice,
it should arrive in only two days! (one day to pack
it up, then OVERNIGHT it appears!) I've been keeping
a tight leash on the Pinks, clocking their every movement,
and so far the normal-delivery orders have been going
out within THREE DAYS of being placed online! They
also have certain Pinks whose job it is to report on
the Pinks that actually put the packages in the mail,
so at any time I can instantly see where every order
is in the process! Unfortunately they have not yet
installed the interactive whips to allow me to "encourage"
them to package things faster, but all in good time.
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Subject: Re: NEW ITEMS AT SUBGENIUS STORE!
From: kconvery@ioma.com (The Bishop)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Dec 6, 2001 5:16 PM
Message-ID: <f9a02c0.0112061416.436b1a9e@posting.google.com>
"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@attbi.com> wrote in message news:<oAyP7.315$w85.20892@rwcrnsc54>...
>
> Using my special l33t access code, I see that someone
has already purchased
> the lovely Xistmas Stein! Are YOU going to let
THAT person be the only one
> with a stein this year?? Hell no! Whoever it
is will probably bring it to
> X-Day and show it off! You will want to be able
to say "Oh yeah, I have one
> of THOSE. I've also got the TEDDY BEAR too!"
Remember -- these products
> are only available for a limited time! After this,
they will probably NEVER
> be sold again! You may want to buy a dozen and
keep them to sell on Ebay as
> collectors items!
If no one else did it as well, that's me with the
stein soon to be
holding my beer. My question is: Did any of you helpful
Hierarchites
get a look at the actual product? Is it one of those
hollow ceramic
things that breaks easy or is it solid ceramic all the
way through? If
it's cheaply made, it might not make it to XD5, where
I hope to smash
it at 7 AM in a dramatic "goodbye to Earth"
recreation of the famous
Benny Hill "Drink to Old Vienna" sketch. "Phillip!
I haven't got a
mug!"
Or are these things supposed to remain anonymous until
shipped from
Dobbstown? Oops...
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Subject: Re: NEW ITEMS AT SUBGENIUS STORE!
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@attbi.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Dec 6, 2001 6:19 PM
Message-ID: <12TP7.2622$L51.19191@rwcrnsc54>
Well, I haven't seen the Stein, but I have seen an example
of the mugs they
sell. It was a solidly-made product of China that has
held up well for
several months. If the Steins are of a similar quality,
you shouldn't have
any problems. Unless you have a cat that likes to pull
down the tablecloth
and you also have a hardwood floor. Then maybe you'd
be in trouble.
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Subject: Re: NEW ITEMS AT SUBGENIUS STORE!
From: peter molenda <peter.molenda@sci.monash.edu.au>
> Say, did you know that ESO was voted Cleveland's
Best Electronic and
> Instrumental Band? Well, they were, Magdalen. Yes
indeed. (Turn back to
> camera.)
i think the evening news would be far more entertaining
if the
newsreaders actually read out these directives instead
of doing them.
nikolai
---
(2 to the power of 2976221) -1 is prime