From: John Starrett <jstarret@carbon.cudenver.edu>
Four. One to screw it in and three to.........
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: SubGenius Spice <sgspice@safe-mail.netnoise>
one? that makes it masturbation and not screwing.
per se.
--
http://www.bangedup.com/Current/cluepon45r.jpg
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "The Not Quite Sane" <blargh3-spamfilter-@yahoo.com>
That'd be the one that just likes to watch, I'd gather.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "The Not Quite Sane" <blargh3-spamfilter-@yahoo.com>
> Four. One to screw it in and three to.........
>
Start a thread arguing about it on alt.slack!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: inigo@montoya.net (D. P. Roberts)
All of them. They sit and watch while some Pink does
the hard work.
_ _ _ _ _
None. We light up the room with our brilliance.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: speaker616@hotmail.com (The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel)
Screw in a light bulb? That sounds too much like WORK.
--
Chaos.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
How many Subgeniuses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Funny you should ask.
1,567,654 --
1,567,652 to invent, finance and build the Mass-Clustering
Atomic
Compression Device or Shrinking Machine, and two to
get inside the
lightbulb.
That joke's answer came to me in like 1981 -- I told
it to Buck Naked,
he told it in a local classic rock radio station contest
and won the
prize. He didn't share it with me.
I guess in 1981, it wasn't really a "classic rock"
station, it was just
a rock station, and since it probbly hasn't changed
at all since 81,
it's now called "classic" rock. It was the
Dallas station called The
Zoo (as opposed to the one called The Edge.)
Is there anyone reading this whose nearest city does
not have both a
"The Zoo" and a "The Edge"? The
former playing 70s music and the later
playing 80s MTV music?
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas,
TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: How many Subgeniuses does it take to screw
in a lightbulb?
From: Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
The Zoo closed up shop before I had left Dallas.
Co-incidentally, The Zoo was the first radio station
in Dallas to carry
The Rock-n-Roll Alternative, that "underground
college no-wave
post-punk DIY" show hosted by The Edge founder
Marc Gimarc. And of
course, The Rock-n-Roll Alternative was finally kicked
off KZEW, and
months later came over to KNON at the same time The
Hour Of Slack went
to the Sunday night slot right after.
And so, having came across Marc's show while trying
to find ANYTHING
EVEN SLIGHTLY BETTER on Dallas radio, I tune in, dig
it, and then find
myself nearly defecating of shock and joy when I head
Marc say: "Stay
tuned for the SubGenius Radio Ministry Hour Of Slack."
Five minutes later I was scrambling for a blank tape,
to begin what
evolved into HUNDREDS of Hours of Slack, starting with
that first
prime-time episode (#79!) and packed tightly into legal
size manila
envelope boxes.
I haven't been so obsessive about anything since, PRAISE FUCKING "BOB".
> Is there anyone reading this whose nearest city
does not have both a
> "The Zoo" and a "The Edge"?
The former playing 70s music and the later
> playing 80s MTV music?
Seattle has The Mountain and The End, respectively.
We have a station
that bills itself as "Pure Classic Rock" but
it's a hard rock and heavy
metal station really. It has no stupid name, although
the picture of
some longhair redneck jumping in front of the logo offsets
that.
Her Ladyship Lilith
--
=====Her Ladyship Rev Dkr St Popess Lilith von Fraumench,
Esquire=====
===Prophet===Corrective Phrenologist===Supreme Commandrix===Devivor===
==SSUCC 4739 University Way NE #1302 Seattle WA 98105
(877)=381-9354==
====Web: ssucc.ragnarokr.com = foolspress.com = mp3.com/foolspress====
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: wbarwell@starbase.neosoft.com (William Barwell)
>Four. One to screw it in and three to.........
Smoke frop and make witty remarks.
Pope Charles
SubGenius Pope of Houston
Slack!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
>How many Subgeniuses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
However many you can fit in the lightbulb.
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
"You laugh at ME because I'm different. I laugh
at YOU because YOU'RE ALL
THE SAME."
Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
J
Can you imagine how uncomfortable it would be to lounge
around inside a light bulb for a while? Talk about
back
pain! Those hard, round surfaces will fuck you up.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "LXIX" <post_replys_please@this.address.is.invalid>
spechilliy when those hardround sufraces have everclear writ on dem!!!
--LXIX--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com>
>
> Can you imagine how uncomfortable it would be to
lounge
> around inside a light bulb for a while? Talk about
back
> pain! Those hard, round surfaces will fuck you
up.
I'd like to be a neutron in one of those screw-in fluorescent
bulbs with the swirlly wrap around shell.
-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
>>
>
>Can you imagine how uncomfortable it would be to
lounge
>around inside a light bulb for a while? Talk about
back
>pain! Those hard, round surfaces will fuck you
up.
>
it'd be kinda like fucking in a suntan bed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: John Starrett <jstarret@carbon.cudenver.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
"Col. Sphinx Drummond" wrote:
<snip>
> I'd like to be a neutron in one of those screw-in
fluorescent
> bulbs with the swirlly wrap around shell.
<snip>
You can be a neutron if you want, but I'd prefer to
be an electron
any day. They get all the glamor jobs.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: wbarwell@starbase.neosoft.com (William Barwell)
A neutron, seperated from an atomic nucleus has a half-life
of eleven minutes.
And electron seems to be eternal.
A proton has a half life on the order of 100 billion
years.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com>
In that case I'd rather be a proton. But what's this
half life? I want
3/4!!!
-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
>>In that case I'd rather be a proton. But what's
this half life? I want
>>3/4!!!
>>
>
>They have mid-life crises.
>
You know? It's like
"Here I am, a Proton. I'm 50 billion years old,
and I'm NOT GETTING
ANY YOUNGER. Those fucking -Electrons- spend half their
life
spontaneously emitting photons, oh THEIR shit don't
STINK, but when
was the last time -I- spontaneously emitted a photon?
Have I -ever-
spontaneously emitted a photon? Was it all just bullshit?
I don't
even want to think about my chances of forming a valence
bond.
It's time to GET OFF MY ASS!
On the other hand maybe if I bashed my head against
the nucleus hard
enough I could trigger a chain reaction.
THAT would show these motherfuckers. They'd remember MY name."
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
I don't judge a book by it's cover. I judge it by how
many pages are stuck together
- The Rev. Ivan Stang
Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Original file name: How many Subgeniuses does it ta - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:29
This page was created using TextToHTML. TextToHTML is a free software for Macintosh and is (c) 1995,1996 by Kris Coppieters