Icy BadSex

From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Mon, Dec 10, 2001 6:43 PM
Message-ID: <3C154890.4B89@succeeds.com>

London - A description of an unwelcome seduction that
compares it to a polar exploration has won one of
Britain's least coveted literary prizes - the Bad Sex
In Fiction Award.

A steamy excerpt from Christopher Hart's second novel,
"Rescue Me", topped all comers to win the ninth annual
Literary Review prize for the year's worst fictional
description of the sexual act.

Part of the winning passage from Hart's novel reads:

"Her hand is moving away from my knee and heading north.
Heading unnervingly and with a steely will towards the
pole... Ever northward moves her hand, while she smiles
languorously at my right ear. And when she reaches the
north pole, I think in wonder and terror - she will
surely want to pitch her tent".

--
$
There is no nu-monet there is only Zuul.
$
The Anti-Limerick, by nu-monet:

There was a young man with an orange,
Who kept that there orange for a month,
It didn't turn silver,
It turned kinda purple,
And that there was one spoiled orange.
$
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Subject: Re: Icy BadSex
From: rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Dec 11, 2001 1:55 AM
Message-ID: <20011211015521.15992.00001922@mb-fd.aol.com>

Okay, hot-shot. Let's see what you can do. I'd like to know which literary
awards your novels have won.

Christopher Hart

"100,000 lemmings can't be wrong"
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Subject: Re: Icy BadSex
From: Arbane the Terrible <arbane@attbi.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: arbane@attbi.com
Date: Tue, Dec 11, 2001 4:01 AM
Message-ID: <HXjR7.34834$Yy.382007@rwcrnsc53>

RLan538885 wrote:

> Okay, hot-shot. Let's see what you can do. I'd like to know which
> literary awards your novels have won.

Nuh-uh. You don't have to be a movie producer to know "Battlefield Earth"
sucked, we don't have to have published any comics to know Rob Liefeld's a
hack, They don't need to have a degree from any culinary institute to
recognize bad meatloaf, and I don't have to have laid any T-1 cables to
SPOUT MY IGNORANT OPINIONS ABOUT EVERYTHING here on UseNet.

So there.

--
"Remember, the plural of 'moron' is 'focus group'."
-- James A. Wolf
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Icy BadSex
From: rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Dec 11, 2001 4:31 AM
Message-ID: <20011211043158.12737.00001785@mb-cp.aol.com>

> You don't have to be a movie producer to know "Battlefield Earth"
>sucked,

Why don't those advanced civilizations have fingernail clippers? (rhetorical
question)

"100,000 lemmings can't be wrong"

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Original file name: Icy BadSex - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:29