From: "Moonthirsty" <moonbee@bluemoon.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Dec 3, 2001 7:03 PM
Message-ID: <mpUO7.5$5M1.664593@news2.randori.com>
Can anybody tell me WHY I'm being forced to partake
in the damn Christian
winter celebration?!?!? Is this a free country or is
there a national
religion??? I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!! I'm fucking
going crazy!! It's
bad enough I can't go to the local liquor store and
get boozed up on
Sundays. "Plan ahead" they say. I shouldn't
HAVE to plan ahead or plan
around the Bobdamned motherfucking holy roller hypocritic
lifestyles of the
moral majority!!!!!!!
AAaaargggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
ggggggg
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Subject: Re: XMASS
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Mon, Dec 3, 2001 8:54 PM
Message-ID: <3C0C2CDD.7BE4@succeeds.com>
Moonthirsty wrote:
>
> Can anybody tell me WHY I'm being forced to
> partake in the damn Christian winter celebration?!?!?
Well, why not try poisoning the well a little bit.
Explain to a group of small children what
"anagrams" are. Say that they are *powerful*
Harry Potter-style magic. Then ask them to
think of an anagram for some harmless, easily
anagrammable word. Then, just before you leave,
tell them to think of an anagram for "Santa".
You might even try the "beckoning summons"
bit
on them. Candyman? Candyman?
Or create a rumor among the kids that Xistmas
was the old Viking ritual of slaughtering a
small child to make the winter go away. That's
why Santa's uniform is red. Someplaces still
kidnap a child to sacrifice on Xistmas eve.
See all them kids on milk cartons?
--
$
There is no nu-monet there is only Zuul.
$
"What I love about truly pathetic people
is they always think they can ARGUE YOU
into liking them." -- Joe Cosby
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: XMASS
From: "Paul E. Jamison" <pauljmsn@infi.net>
nu-monet wrote:
>
> Or create a rumor among the kids that Xistmas
> was the old Viking ritual of slaughtering a
> small child to make the winter go away. That's
> why Santa's uniform is red. Someplaces still
> kidnap a child to sacrifice on Xistmas eve.
> See all them kids on milk cartons?
>
I can just see Jack Chick getting a woody over this kind of logic.
Paul E. Jamison
--
"There's more pressure on a vet to get it right.
People say 'It was God's will' when Granny dies,
but they get *angry* when they lose a cow."
- Terry Pratchett
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: XMASS
From: Tesla Coil <tescoil@irtc.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Done Deal:
http://www.idir.net/~kic/
http://www.forteantimes.com/articles/118_santan.shtml
A note left out of the online version of the FT article,
the observation that the names of Santa's reindeer in
Clement Moore's "Visit From St. Nicholas"
correspond to
characters in the legend: Donder and Blitzen, forces
of
nature; Vixen, the Wild Woman; Cupid, the archer, etc...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: XMASS
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
>
> I can just see Jack Chick getting a woody over
> this kind of logic.
>
Yeah, but the thought occurred to me a long time ago
that Jack really, truly *understands* his audience.
In a way, you could say that there is a bizarre,
convaluted form of Slack in Jack's salesmanship.
BTW, I had an utterly shameless friend who sent Jack
a letter, written in crayon, posing as a small girl
who had been denied religion by her abusive, drug-
injecting, Satan-worshipping parents. He laid it on
thicker 'n' heavier. Jack was so moved that he sent
him a big cardboard box full of rare and valuable
tract-comics. My friend imagined Jack crying his
eyes out at the thought of the poor, starving and
beaten little child, shivering in the cold with
Chick comics as her only friend. *Snif*, Bawwww!
--
$
There is no nu-monet there is only Zuul.
$
"What I love about truly pathetic people
is they always think they can ARGUE YOU
into liking them." -- Joe Cosby