A Rant: "Why They Hate Us" by Dr. Philo Drummond

From: "Philo at Hotmail" <philodrummond@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Oct 31, 2001 12:38 AM

Why They Hate Us.

Of course you know this is all bullshit and I don't really mean any of it
but here's my two cents on why they hate us anyway. The real reason they
hate us is simple. We are better than they are. Yep, we are better than they
are and they know it and, sadly to say, we're ashamed of it. I use the term
"better" in this sense, more quantitative than qualitative. It's natural
selection in action only we just get to see a little slice of it.
Macroeconomics drives it all, "the invisible hand", as it were. Ignorance of
it's power won't lessen it's effects.

Because of the success of our culture, success being measured by acquisition
of material wealth and it's by-product; political control. We are more
highly "naturally selected" for a variety of reasons that are a by-product
of our culture. They don't realize that, but like all less highly "naturally
selected" cultures, they sense it. Because it foretells the demise of their
backward culture, one that is only successful when they have an abysmally
poor populace controlled by hucksters who've managed to focus their poverty
driven hatred because thay had us as a handy target. Too bad everybody can't
win. Being truly great is very difficult -- it's the hardest thing there is
to do. (Ultimate True Slack is attained when successful, though). The guy at
the top is always an easy target. And there's always sombody who will try to
knock him down. And it's lonely up there because everybody hates you and you
don't have any friends telling you how cool you are unless they're just
trying to get into your pockets. Or pull you down. History is chock-full of
examples.

That's why we can never make friends with them, because no matter how bad we
may want to believe we can make everyone happy and get along in one world
harmony, they don't believe it...or even consider it for that matter. It's
our own exclusive weakness. It goes with the success of our culture and
another of it's by-products; leisure time. We have had too much leisure time
and too good a life, at least potentially, some have taken greater advantage
of it than others. And don't confuse leisure time with Slack, which is a
personal experience by nature and difficult to measure because of it's
extreme variabilty. Nobody has figured out how to get accurate readings.
Maybe we'll get to "experience the difference" of this new culture shift, or
maybe our kids will. We're so ashamed of what we have we don't even care
when others want to take it away from us. In fact, we feel obligated and out
of style if we don't help them gut the warehouse and give away the pieces to
the most needy. The main thing is we will just probably do what the crowd
does. That's the nature of "the invisible hand". Hey, let's give a dollar to
some poor people, just make sure they're not middle-eastern. Wear a ribbon.
Slap on a few flags. Woah, don't forget about the kids. It will make little
difference 63,244 years from now.

But, hey, what the hell do I know?

Philo
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Subject: Re: Why They Hate Us
From: "headkase" <woggurl@optusnospamnet.com.au>

Bullshit

Your just a lucky fat bastard
and that my friend
is why they hate you

headkase
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Subject: Re: Why They Hate Us
From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com>

I don't know if I want to shake Invisible Hand guy's hand or kick his ass. If I
ever see him...

-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Why They Hate Us
From: "Philo at Hotmail" <philodrummond@hotmail.com>

"headkase" wrote in message
news:

> Your just a lucky fat bastard
> and that my friend
> is why they hate you
>

Yep, Goddamn that fucking misplaced luck that I was just lucky enough to
stumble into undeservedly. Given an undeserved choice, I'd rather have them
hate me than love me. They're just too stinky. But I'm really a rather
skinny bastard

Philo "the Hated"
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Subject: Re: Why They Hate Us
From: "Philo at Hotmail" <philodrummond@hotmail.com>

"Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:
>
> I don't know if I want to shake Invisible Hand guy's hand or kick his ass.
If I
> ever see him...
>

You won't be able to shake his cock or kiss his ass because they're both
just too damn big.

INVISIBLE HAND GUY RULEZ, MAN!!

Yours,
Philo "Invisible Hand Guy's Most Undeserved Recipient" Drummond
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Dave White <David.White@one.at>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

The "third world" therefore needs an Invisible Handjob, evidently.

std::
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

I'd like to find this Invisible Guy and his friend Western
Civilization, and teach them both a big fat lesson! Behind the old barn
out by Jonesboro.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <87MD7.94022$gT6.49068684@news1.rdc1.sfba.home.com>, Philo
at Hotmail <philodrummond@hotmail.com> wrote:

>And don't confuse leisure time with Slack, which is a
> personal experience by nature and difficult to measure because of it's
> extreme variabilty. Nobody has figured out how to get accurate readings.

At least we got the names of the units of measurement down, though, Dr.
Drummond, remember? "Philo's" of Slack and "Stangs" of Pain. We just
haven't callibrated the measuring DEVICE to be consistent with the unit
amounts.

> Maybe we'll get to "experience the difference" of this new culture shift, or
> maybe our kids will. We're so ashamed of what we have we don't even care
> when others want to take it away from us. In fact, we feel obligated and out
> of style if we don't help them gut the warehouse and give away the pieces to
> the most needy. The main thing is we will just probably do what the crowd
> does. That's the nature of "the invisible hand". Hey, let's give a dollar to
> some poor people, just make sure they're not middle-eastern. Wear a ribbon.
> Slap on a few flags. Woah, don't forget about the kids. It will make little
> difference 63,244 years from now.
>
> But, hey, what the hell do I know?

You know as well as I do it ain't what, but who. You might not know
shit, "what"-wise, but you got "Bob's" phone number, so who cares?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Why They Hate Us
From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

>
> I'd like to find this Invisible Guy and his friend Western
> Civilization, and teach them both a big fat lesson! Behind the old barn
> out by Jonesboro.

The American People want to see that happen.

-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)

Be sure to exorcise the Spirit of Patriotism if you find it floating around
out there!

-----------

Caroline: How do you tell the pubic lice from the other kind?
Mat: The pubic ones are smiling.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

"ICEKNIFE" <iceknifeNOSPAM@lanminds.com> wrote in message
news:9rpu3o020aq@enews3.newsguy.com...
>
> "Philo at Hotmail" <philodrummond@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:
> > Why They Hate Us.
>
> not me.
>
>
> I hate you because you're stupid.
>
>
> And you smell like moldy shag rug and stale beer. ugh. and puke.
>
>
>
> NOW GET OFF MY FLOOR AND GO *HOME*.
>
>

Hey wait, that's why I hate me!!

Philo

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Original file name: Why They Hate Us - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:31