Propaganda Broadcast

From: thereheis99@hotmail.com (Rev. Crawford)
Date: Thu, Oct 18, 2001 10:51 AM

Text of propaganda heard last night on Voice of Dobbstown broadcast:

"Attention Conspiracy! You are condemned. Did you know that? The
instant the Normals you support attempted to take over our slack, you
sentenced yourselves to death. The Slack Forces of the Church of the
SubGenius are here to seek justice for our oppressed. Highly trained
clergy are coming to shut down once and for all the Man's ring of
pinkness, and the Conspiracy that supports them and their actions.

"Our forces are armed with state of the art mind-altering
paraphernalia. What are you using, obsolete and ineffective thought
processes? Our Heliopters will rain phlegm down upon your camps before
you detect them on your radar. Our bongs are so accurate we can drop
them right through your Neiman-Marcus coffee tables. Our infantry is
trained for slacking off in any climate and terrain on earth.
SubGenius warriors fire with superior marksmanship and are armed with
superior psychological weapons.

"You have only one choice ... Surrender now and we will give you a
second chance. Really. We will let you live. If you surrender no harm
will come to you. No, really. When you decide to surrender, approach
SubGenius forces with your hands in your mouth. Sling your bullshit
across your back towards the ground. Remove your wallet and expel any
cash to the coffers of Dobbs. Doing this is your only chance of
survival."

(I'm waiting for the dance remix.)

YFNR

Rev. Crawford

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Original file name: Propaganda Broadcast - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:31