Subject: A view of the world's economic policies

From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Nov 30, 2001 12:26 PM

Political Philosophy 101

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. Then you
covet it.

A SOCIALIST:
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his.

A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being
successful.
You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one
to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the
tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel
righteous.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

A COMMUNIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with
milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

AN AFGHAN:
You have no cows. The Taliban shot them for not wearing veils in
public.
They blamed the atrocity on perverted American values penetrating their
sovereign soil. You got 5 wives instead. You actually had six, one left
but you don't know what she looked like.
So far, the remaining wives clearly understand the cows' fate due to
your diligent beating schedule. Fortunately, this is not viewed as an
educational process.

A FASCIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk.
You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage that
ultimately
blows up the cows.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to
sell
both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which
was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks
the
other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an
IPO
on the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows
You
are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
analysts that you have reduced your expenses. Your stock goes up.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go
to lunch. Life is good.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on
unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow
school.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling
around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
have
some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce
your
10th, 5 year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes
over
how ever many cows you really have.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for
storing
them for others. If they give milk, you tell no one.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American
Corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows. You expropriate them. The
American
corporation goes chapter 11.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them .

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Original file name: A view of the world's economic... - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:31