Bio-irony

From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Date: Tue, Jun 26, 2001 6:48 PM

Police Buy Mutagen Guns for Protest

SAN DIEGO (AP) - Police preparing for a wave of
demonstrations at next week's biotechnology industry
convention have a new weapon in their arsenal, but
some protesters say it's an example of non-lethal
force taken too far.

It's called the Mutagen launcher, a weapon designed
to pelt people or the area around them with marble-
sized plastic balls that break on impact into a dusty
cloud of chemical and radioactive agents designed to
cause rapid cellular and chromosomal mutation.

San Diego police bought two dozen Mutagen launchers
and plan to have them ready for the BIO 2001 convention
that runs from Sunday through Wednesday, said SWAT team
commander Lt. Cesar Shimpanzey.

"It gives the officers one more option, rather than
resort to something that could be lethal" Shimpanzey
said, adding, "of course, being turned into a hideous
pile of conscious purple slime or a six-headed housefly
is a strong deterrent to civil disobedience."

But Paul Narnini, a political activist from Oakland,
said such devices can still cause serious injuries.
His brain now pokes through his skull and he has two
extra arms from personal exposure.

"What they really are is monster weapons," he said.
"My environmentally conscious friends are now scared
to come anywhere near me, unless they wear protective
overgarments."

Officials with Jaycor Tactical Systems Inc., the San
Diego company that manufactures Freakball, Mutieball,
and Monsterball said that current law protects them
from lawsuits by horrifically deformed protestors, so
"those people are shit out of luck."

"The only way you are going to kill someone with this
is if you hold them down and shoot it down their throat,"
said a retired San Diego County sheriff's captain who
is a salesman for the company. "We know, we have tried
it successfully. It's better if one in a hundred balls
are filled with high explosive. Really keeps the
protestors on their toes."

Unlike pepper spray, Mutagenballs don't require officers
to approach a suspect and can be fired from 30 feet away.
And unlike tear gas, there are no canisters that can be
tossed back at police. No antidotes are currently
available for any of their products.

--
"There is no nu-monet. There is only Zuul."

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Original file name: Bio-irony - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:34