SubGenius Movie

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 3, 2001 1:07 PM
Message-ID: <qfgI6.8829$2U.3853654@news2.rdc2.tx.home.com>

Everyone wants a SubGenius Movie, and the speculation on which Famous Actors
would play which SubGenii has been raging for YEARS now. We even have a
title, created by Pope Black -- "J.R. and Pee Bear and the Seven Lady
Truckers", and a rudimentary sense of plot -- J.R. has to get somewhere and
Mean Sherriff Legume wants to stop him, but the Seven Lady Truckers help him
out. Pee Bear? Well, we can cross that bridge when we come to it.

As much as we like to pick which actors should play other SubGenii in the
film, most of us want to play ourselves, and really, who ELSE could get our
mannerisms and fetishes just right? So -- we've got the actors, we've got
enough of a script to improvise the rest, and we have more video cameras
than we can shake a stick at! So let's just DO IT. At X^4 Day! Let's make
a movie! If it's bizarre enough, we could enter it in independent film
festivals and then we'd be FAMOUS! Still not RICH or anything, but hey,
it's worth doing. Someone bring a badge for Legume.
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Subject: Re: SubGenius Movie
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, May 4, 2001 2:40 AM
Message-ID: <3AF24EE7.4BFE726F@sheayright.com>

Oh! Oh! I know I know! How about if "Pee Bear" is J.R.'s side-kick/pet like
in Every Which Way But Entertaining, or whatever. Thing is that Clide was an
orangutan and that's a monkey, so that'll never do as "Bob"'s side-kick. Ok!
Ok! How about if Pee Bear is a SEA ELEPHANT! But it'd have to be a small sea
elephant or else it won't fit into "Bob"'s AMC Pacer. Hmm.. I know! Let's
have Pee Bear be AN EMBRYONIC SEA ELEPHANT!!!

The movie could start out with "Bob" eating a seafood salad sandwich in a
sandwich shop on the east coast, and he takes a bite, but it's too tough
to bite through, so he opens up the sandwich to find a SEA ELEPHANT EMBRYO
INSIDE!! But there's MORE!! The embryonic sea elephant starts to COMMUNICATE
with "Bob" TELEPATHICALLY. It could have a squeaky little voice like
Vincent Price in The Fly. "Helloooo "Bob". I'm Pee Bear, the embryonic sea
elephant, and I have something very important to tellllll youuuuuu! Your
civilization is in perrrrrrril!" Pee Bear goes on to explain to "Bob" that
a mutant race of giant nudebranchs is preparing to wage war against the
human race at the bottom of San Francisco Bay, and that "Bob" is the only
one who can stop them. But time is of the essence and they must drive across
the country lickity split (Pee Bear is afraid to fly so they have to take
"Bob"'s 1972 Pacer).

Anyway, as "Bob" is leaving with Pee Bear, we see that Sheriff Legume has
been sitting in the booth behind them all along, listening in on ("Bob"'s
half of) the conversation. "Bob" dashes to his car and peels out in a cloud
of smoke... With Sheriff Legume hot on his tail. Now, Sheriff Legume, with
a high performance police cruiser, could easily catch an AMC Pacer in no time,
so Legume needs a goofy side-kick who foils him at every turn. ENTER JANOR
HYPERCLETES!!! Sheriff Legume's son-by-marriage! Janor constantly distracts
and annoys Legume by asking to stop to take a pee, or to get hamburgers, or
new socks, and Legume could break the tension of the chase with comedic
relief by insulting Janor, saying things like "There is NO WAY you could'a
come from my LOINS!" and stuff like that.

As for the seven Lady Truckers who help "Bob" and Pee Bear, they should have
names. I'd say call them all Louise, but that'd be confusing, so half of them
should be named Louise and the other half should be called Thelma. Keep things
simple, I always say.

So the name of the movie will need a little changing. Something like
""Bob" and Pee Bear the Telepathic Embryonic Sea Elephant in a Jar and the
Seven Lady Truckers named Thelma and Louise Save the World from the Giant
Mutant Nudebranchs of San Francisco Bay"

It's be JUST LIKE alt.slack!!

--
Artemia Salina -- http://www.drpez.com/drali1.htm
Taking the 'rhetorical' out of 'rhetorical question' since 1958

------------------

Subject: Re: SubGenius Movie
From: opalpeacok@aol.com.net (Salacia the Overseer)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 3, 2001 5:19 PM
Message-ID: <20010503171943.20134.00002546@ng-fi1.aol.com>

Shizoor said in response to Magdalen
>Its gotta have PeeWee Herman in it.

>"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com> writes:
>> Everyone wants a SubGenius Movie, and the speculation on which Famous
>Actors
>> would play which SubGenii has been raging for YEARS now. We even have a
>> title, created by Pope Black -- "J.R. and Pee Bear and the Seven Lady
>> Truckers", and a rudimentary sense of plot -- J.R. has to get somewhere and
>> Mean Sherriff Legume wants to stop him, but the Seven Lady Truckers help
>him
>> out. Pee Bear? Well, we can cross that bridge when we come to it.
>>
>> As much as we like to pick which actors should play other SubGenii in the
>> film, most of us want to play ourselves, and really, who ELSE could get our
>> mannerisms and fetishes just right? So -- we've got the actors, we've got
>> enough of a script to improvise the rest, and we have more video cameras
>> than we can shake a stick at! So let's just DO IT. At X^4 Day! Let's
>make
>> a movie! If it's bizarre enough, we could enter it in independent film
>> festivals and then we'd be FAMOUS! Still not RICH or anything, but hey,
>> it's worth doing. Someone bring a badge for Legume.

Casting "Church of the SubGenius" the movie is eaaasy. You line as many of the
tippity top of the Hollywood blue chip talent as you have roles. The 'stars'
roles are then arbitrarily picked for them out of a hat. NO TRADING ALLOWED!
Mel Gibson=Connie Dobbs, Catherine Zeta Jones=Philo Drummond, Meryl
Streep=Sluggo the Prairie Squid, Sean Connery=Janor Hypercleats, Julia
Roberts=Ivan Stang, and so on. Of course, when it's time for keanu reeves to
pick his role we do a slight of hand and switch hats so he plays "Bob". That
way he can be the victim of a horrible "accident" like Brandon Lee, during the
filming of "Bob's" assasination. How sad (insert annoying mopey face emoticon
here).
How amusing! Celebraties humiliating themselves to play slackers of the Church.

Headmistress Salacia the Overseer
Branch Salacians
Director of Programming, Keeper of the Seven Squeals,

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Original file name: SubGenius Movie - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:35