************************************************************ Date: Sat, 28 Oct 2000 22:13:33 -0500
Official SubGenius Update
And Rumor Control.
Rev. J.C. "Steve" Bevilacqua
CFO
SubGenius Foundation Inc
Greetings and Slack fellow Yeti,
Much to report but I'll try to keep it short. This report should be a fun one because so many great lies and rumors have been circulating lately. Since most everything you hear from any SubG is most probably a distortion of the TRUTH in the first place, it's simply amazing what can happen as these rumors slide down the ol' exaggeration chute of the Dobbs' Co. rumor mill. Of course the following is only our Official, exaggerated, distorted, version of things but at least you can have a choice of whose lies to believe and hopefully make up a few new ones of your own!
Stang is Retiring.
Oh if only he COULD retire. If retiring consists of putting on a Devival in Tampa, making big deals with Troma Films and producing great new ear splitting CD's, well then consider him finished. Perhaps, when he gets to Florida he may not leave, I understand this is what happens to the old, but I'm sure he'll generating Slack from his bedside even if his nurse must type the words...at least until X-day when he WILL retire.. along with the rest of us.
For up to the minute Tampa Devival info see: http://devival.bizland.com/
For cool new CD's see the Scatalog at :
http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog.html
Jesus is Retiring.
Hell no I'm not retiring, but I did quit my job with "Bob" and got a new position on the board of directors with SubGenius Foundation Inc. the very next day. Looks like Dobbs has BIG plans for the Son of Man... so I am pleased to announce that I have accepted the position of Chief Financial Officer of SGF Inc. This lofty and important position comes with many perks, benefits and stock options, but no salary. That is right, I have been freed from the bondage of the buck. I sit on the Board of Directors as an unpaid, full-fledged VOLENTEER. So if ANYBODY, EVER, from this day forward , DARES ask to get paid for ANYTHING in this Church from me I will mock them and smugly sit upon my throne of superiority laughing, LAUGHING I SAY!. From now on if you want money get it from the Con. I will not detail here my new "Get a Job for "Bob" Philosophy" but rest assured I will subject you to it at length in the future.
My move to the board also means a few changes. First, my email is not actually read by me, you can still email me, but keep in mind it will go through several persons and most probably never get to me, sort of like the President or Tom Cruise. If you need me -- call, but then too, you will only get "my people". Your numerous great ideas, petty problems, and annoying questions are no longer my concern and unless your letter is scribed on a hundred dollar bill don't bother sending it to me.
Nickie and Magdalen have taken over mailorder and this should result in a better if not sexier quality to customer service. Stang has retained his title as sacred scribe and has also accepted Dobbs' former position as Chief Executive Office. So many of my former business type deals and scams will now be ultimately handled by him.
All questions on orders should still be mailed to jesus@subgenius.com All Website or HOS related questions should still be mailed to stang@subgenius.com
X Day will be on the West Coast.
This is something that has been discussed since X-Day Drill #1. A good idea actually, rotating back and forth between two places so that most people could enjoy this amazing festival no matter where they live. The problem is the difficulty in finding a cushy, SubG friendly place like Brushwood. So we've 86'd this idea and decided to simply join in on the already established West Coast Mutant Festival called Burning Man. The plans are for a SubGenius Village complete with a church and gambling den. Stay Tuned
My wife has a Porn Site.
Well this one is true! This is an idea that has been around since SubSite first went online, and Maggie finally made it a reality. The idea is to eventually feature any and all mutants, but especially the female-type ones. Right now it is in a basic, see-if-it's-worth-it phase and Mags has put her pussy on the line to see if this idea is feasible. So if you want to see naked mutant babes on their own porno site go check out Maggie's site and buy some pics or donate. If she raises enough money she'll make mutantporn.com a reality. And of course a portion of proceeds will be donated to "Bob". Boobs for "Bob"!
Temporary testing ground: http://magdalen.walkingdead.net Praise Rev. Schabe for his donation of space. Future site: http://www.mutantporn.com
The Fist is done.
Also true thanks to the great works of Rev. Chritopher Lee of the Quijibo cartel. The bad news is we can not afford to print or mail it. Please help us get this out before it's completely out of date by BUYING SOMETHING. We hope to at least get out a mailing of some sort before Christmas. We really do need your help do make all these great things possible! Send in your donation if you can (see donation below) http://www.jehovahatesphred.com/donation/index.cfm
Webcams/IRC
The IRC on-line chat that started as a Sunday only meeting is now a 24-7 deal. You can go on #subgenius any time of the day or night and talk with your SubGenius friends and enemies. Need help with IRC go to: http://www.subgenius.com/subirc/subirc.html
The Web Cam phenomenon is out of control, you can see Subs in various stages of nakidity and soberness whenever you want. St. Andrew and the sultry Rev. Delyla have spearheaded this project and have donated the space for any Sub with a cam.
http://www.jehovahatesphred.com/subgcam/
Random Webcams:
http://www.jehovahatesphred.com/subgcam/ The SubBrady Bunch - all the cams on one page! The place to get YOUR cam linked in! Be sure to read the FAQ!
http://magdalen.walkingdead.net/ Rev Mary Magdalen - HardCore pictures for sale! Donate to the Fund for Mutant Porn! Become a Porn Star! And much, much more!
http://www.brainpuke.com/phloighd/webcam.html Rev. Phloighd - Original animation and bizarre performance art!
http://www.frognet.net/~absent/AbsentCam.html Rev. Zero (aka Rev. Absent) - Raw, mutant nekkidity!
http://www.fctrelaxo.com/bowel.html Rev. Dr. Jack Mehoff - You won't believe this one!
http://www.teleport.com/~jimcser/webcam/webcam.htm Duke of Uke - Bubble baths with the Duke!
http://digimind.tripod.com/FEDCOMS/ Rev. Sinphaltimus Exmortus - Truly frightening!
http://www.geocities.com/shadowsyndicate2001/ Rev Sir Sharpe (aka Rev Nikko) - A Man of Mystery!
http://www.geocities.com/yetikin/webcam.jpg Rev. O'Blivion -- At last he is revealed!
http://www.ecesis.org/siobhan/ Rev DeLyla - Is she Goth or is she Rivet? You be the judge!
Donation Pages:
(Praise to Rev. Nickie DeathChick for making the deals with PayPal and Andrew for coding the page!)
AT LAST you can DONATE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT to "Bob" with one easy mouse click! No more need to wonder which products you'll like - just GIVE "BOB" ALL YOUR MONEY! Add the PayPal Donation Button to YOUR site too! It has to be the EASIEST way to help "Bob"! Email magdalen@subgenius.com for help, or just strip the code off one of these pages (be sure to get IMG SRC exactly right - the image comes from PayPal's site)
http://www.jehovahatesphred.com/donation/index.cfm
http://magdalen.walkingdead.net/donate.htm
Original file name: Official SubGenius Update 1 - converted on Sunday, 11 March 2001, 14:27
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