Project Bobyon

NOTES: Upon my second reading of The Book of the Subgenius, I heard the sound such as I have heard before. It was the sound of someone smoking. I ignored it thinking it was a sign to start smoking myself. How wrong I was, see the sound stopped right after I completed reading about the Bobyon. I wasn't sure if it made sense at all so I re-read it and the sound started up again. Well this really has nothing else to do with this report except that I smoked this time. Yes, I partook in the fropping of the frop for the sake of the frop and only the frop. That's when it all began to make sense. Something wanted me to re-create the Bobyon in a 3D simulation. So I did. And it was good. It was real good. I built the Bobyon particle in less space then the time of our presence currently allowed for. And I watched it. Watched it rotate there in empty space all by itself. And it brought slack.

For those who wish to reproduce this experiment, do the following...
Turn to page 69 of "The Book" and model the bobyon according to specifications list on that page. Then set it to rotate 360 degrees on the proper axis according to the specifications. Render the animation with 360 frames so that the bobyon rotates 1 degree per frame. If this is too much for your computer, divide it evenly. Like do it in 36 frames instead. This will cause it to rotate very fast. I wanted to view every detail so I chose to have it rotate in 360 frames which caused a slow slackful rotation that was a joy to mesmerize upon.

Project Anti-Bobyon.
NOTES: I continued to frop it up as I watched this phenomenon unfold before my eyes. Then I blanked out. Upon coming thru to semi-conscientiousness (at least I think I may have been awake for this), I had a sudden urge to add a rotation to the bobyon that would cause it to rotate along the axis of the 2 pipe like extensions that were currently perpendicular to the current and correct rotation.

Well, guess what happened. First off, my computer crashed. My windows registry became corrupted it took me about 7 hours to get it back up and running. Fortunately, the data was still in tact. So, I continued with the experiment. I did the same type of render. 360 frames for 360 degrees of rotation. Only this time it was rotating on 2 different axes. After the render was completed, I blacked out again. When I awoke for the second time, I noticed that my Book of the SubG was missing. I saved my data and renderings then went to bed. I was tired.

I found my book 3 days later and was shocked to see it in such a dilapidated condition. The cover was pealing as if from radiation sickness. It was ill. It took 3 days for the transformation to be completed. Now I have an ugly book. I suppose its my payment for delving into the forbidden sciences of the bobyon.

Although I was extremely fearful at what I have done, I noticed that luck began to pour into my life. Now I know what it is like to surf the Luck Plane, It's happened many times before but never this extreme. First off, just thinking about getting my hands on some extra cash (and how much I really needed a day off from my normal job) caused some normal in my area to "Not See Me" and crash into my car. No injury, a day off of work and insurance money on the way. Shit, my car was old and another dent really added to its character. Thanx Bob and by the way, Happy Birthday.

I could go on and on about the strokes of luck that have been bombarding me lately but why? I know you understand and don't need to hear it all. Besides, this report is already getting too long. Anywaze, DO NOT REPEAT this experiment if you have any hopes of keeping your Book of the Subgenius in good condition. I will not be held responsible. After all, I heard the smoking when I did the experiment. If you re-produce this experiment, you are responsible for what happens. You may die... I don't care.

After holding a meeting with some of the local SubGees in my area, it was pointed out that the Anti-Bobyon (in it's rotation) is actually drawing out the sign of Chaos, which looks like a figure 8 on it's side.
See it for yourself.. I've included the rendered avi files with this document. I can not guarentee that it will bring you luck but I can guarentee that it will bring slack, or tripple your money back come Xday4.

Yours in Bob,
Rev. Sinphaltimus Exmortus of the First Ever Digital Church of Mind Slack. (website maybe coming soon)

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Original file name: Project Bobyon.txt - converted on Sunday, 11 March 2001, 14:27