Your package was sent out three months ago. It left the SubGenius
Warehouse and went into the hands of the United States Postal Service,
and from there to the Postal Service of your overseas country. Perhaps
it fell off a boat, was mangled in machinery, or had a comical but
officially unknown name on it; such things do happen. Your money has
already been refunded to your credit card.
On a personal note, I would like you to know that my Husband works very
hard, He has the least slack of anyone in this Church, and He would
never steal anyone's money. I find it heartbreaking that a simple postal
error can cause someone to turn against the Foundation, the Final
Organization that stands between the mutants of the world and the
machinery of the Conspiracy, which would mangle us all.
evilgoat wrote:
>
> i ordered my salvation in january, and now it's april, i've called once
> and spoke to someone, tried to call 100 times but noone is ever there
> "please call back during business hours" when it is fukn business hours,
> i emailed jesus twice, with no reply, i emailed stang, with no reply and
> when i emailed him back, he said "i probaly forwarded it to jesus", so
> no fucking wonder i got no reply, jesus is thieving my cash!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Postal Error Causes One to Fall From Dobbs!!
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Sat, Apr 29, 2000 12:23 AM
Message-ID: <390A63C2.5A70@succeeds.com>
Rev. Magdalen wrote:
>
> Your package was sent out three months ago. It left the SubGenius
> Warehouse and went into the hands of the United States Postal Service,
> and from there to the Postal Service of your overseas country. Perhaps
> it fell off a boat, was mangled in machinery, or had a comical but
> officially unknown name on it; such things do happen. Your money has
> already been refunded to your credit card.
>
No joke. The USPS gave me an incredible ration of shit because
they didn't want to deliver a package from Huey. It took me
5 days, and I finally had to sign for it. I think it's pretty
obvious.
To make matters worse, I now have a new mailing address.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Postal Error Causes One to Fall From Dobbs!!
From: "whyaskwhyaskwhy" <blackout@HORMELinfomagic.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Apr 29, 2000 12:16 AM
Message-ID: <sgkohepa7qo83@corp.supernews.com>
"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com> wrote in message
news:390A524B.A35294D0@home.com...
> Your package was sent out three months ago. It left the SubGenius
> Warehouse and went into the hands of the United States Postal Service,
> and from there to the Postal Service of your overseas country. Perhaps
> it fell off a boat, was mangled in machinery, or had a comical but
> officially unknown name on it; such things do happen. Your money has
> already been refunded to your credit card.
YEAH YOU DIRTY UPPITY FOREIGNER YOU. YOUR PODUNK THIRD WORLD UNSANITARY
STICKY FINGERED POSTAL SERVICE FUCKS YOU OVER AND FIRST THING YOU GO AND
BLAME JESUS. EVEN IF HE FUCKED YOU OVER HE DID IT PERSONALLY SO IT'S STILL A
BLESSING OF SORTS. DID YOU CONSIDER THAT HE HAS YOUR HOME ADDRESS AND NO
JURY WOULD CONVICT HIM?
AND IT'S GONNA TAKE AT LEAST $45.00 TO GET IN THIS TIME.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Postal Error Causes One to Fall From Dobbs!!
From: Name: PopeBlack <popeblack@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Apr 29, 2000 8:21 AM
Message-ID: <8eek35$gq5$1@nnrp1.deja.com>
That Jesus fellow, he won't steal your mail but he damn sure bogarted
the DMT in Amsterdam.
>
--
http://meltingpot.fortunecity.com/metric/302/
His divine grace,
The Second Luckiest Man Alive!
The Apostle Pope General Dr. Mighty David Lee Black THC MMDA
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Postal Error Causes One to Fall From Dobbs!!
From: Legume <legume@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Apr 29, 2000 1:53 PM
Message-ID: <390B21AB.2770@subgenius.com>
Rev. Magdalen wrote:
>
> Your package was sent out three months ago. It left the SubGenius
> Warehouse and went into the hands of the United States Postal Service,
> and from there to the Postal Service of your overseas country. Perhaps
> it fell off a boat, was mangled in machinery, or had a comical but
> officially unknown name on it; such things do happen.
Shit, three months? Back before Jesus took over the mailorder, it
sometimes took a YEAR OR MORE to get yer shit. Mine took seven months.
My wife waited a YEAR for hers, then finally she got THREE memberships
in the same week.
>Your money has
> already been refunded to your credit card.
So NEXT time, it'll cost you $100 American for yer damn membership.
>
> On a personal note, I would like you to know that my Husband works very
> hard, He has the least slack of anyone in this Church, and He would
> never steal anyone's money.
Come now, Mags, I KNOW Jesus doesn't have the LEAST slack. After all,
how could he, with a sweet little darlin' like YOU waiting at home for
him.
He DOES work hard, though I try to stop him whenever I can.
>I find it heartbreaking that a simple postal
> error can cause someone to turn against the Foundation, the Final
> Organization that stands between the mutants of the world and the
> machinery of the Conspiracy, which would mangle us all.
Oh, well, Mags, what's one more space in the mass grave?
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