It's that time again, XXX Day is a comin' and as usual, the Con has me
up to my hairy white ass in debt. THIS time, though, they really have my
ass in the wringer.
As anyone whose been there can testify, my presence at these events
serves MANY purposes, from performing the annual Bobtism, to preaching,
to stopping Jesus from ruining everyone's fun with his propensity for
taking this shit too seriously.
MOST importantly, my presence at XX Day will allow me to teach the
lessons of Rock and Stick to some poor random bozo who desperately needs
it. Governor Rocknar, you received the teachings last year; YOU
ESPECIALLY should cough up the bucks, since it's so drastically changed
your life. Thanks to my Zenslack teachings, you went from lowly village
idiot to KING OF ALL STUDLY VILLAGE IDIOTS.
So I call out to you all to reach deep inside your hearts and wallets to
help bring the church's "Buddha of Slack" to Brushwood once again.
And if that doesn't get you to contribute, I remind you that I'll be
bringing along my sweet little bethonged wife... and possibly a few
other babes.
Anyone interested, please email me at legume@subgenius.com, and I'll
send you my address.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Help send Legume to XXX Day (Attn:Rocknar)
From: Sister Decadence <decadence@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Feb 29, 2000 12:40 PM
Message-ID: <e41obs0bkfb29059v5ioki3dhv2r959rqo@4ax.com>
On Tue, 29 Feb 2000 10:46:25 -0500, in alt.slack you wrote:
>It's that time again, XXX Day is a comin' and as usual, the Con has me
>up to my hairy white ass in debt. THIS time, though, they really have my
>ass in the wringer.
>
>As anyone whose been there can testify, my presence at these events
>serves MANY purposes, from performing the annual Bobtism, to preaching,
>to stopping Jesus from ruining everyone's fun with his propensity for
>taking this shit too seriously.
>
>MOST importantly, my presence at XX Day will allow me to teach the
>lessons of Rock and Stick to some poor random bozo who desperately needs
>it. Governor Rocknar, you received the teachings last year; YOU
>ESPECIALLY should cough up the bucks, since it's so drastically changed
>your life. Thanks to my Zenslack teachings, you went from lowly village
>idiot to KING OF ALL STUDLY VILLAGE IDIOTS.
>
>So I call out to you all to reach deep inside your hearts and wallets to
>help bring the church's "Buddha of Slack" to Brushwood once again.
>
>And if that doesn't get you to contribute, I remind you that I'll be
>bringing along my sweet little bethonged wife... and possibly a few
>other babes.
If you can promise me they're over 25, I'll contrubute. Promise
without LYING, dammit!
>
"Fate is just what you call it when you don't know
the name of the person screwing you over."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Help send Legume to XXX Day (Attn:Rocknar)
From: legume@subgenius.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Feb 29, 2000 2:01 PM
Message-ID: <38bc17a7$1_3@news5.newsfeeds.com>
In article <e41obs0bkfb29059v5ioki3dhv2r959rqo@4ax.com>, Sister Decadence <decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:
> If you can promise me they're over 25, I'll contrubute. Promise
>without LYING, dammit!
By Gawd, I'm a PREACHER. I'd NEVER lie!
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Help send Legume to XXX Day (Attn:Rocknar)
From: iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Feb 29, 2000 5:47 PM
Message-ID: <38BC4C68.51A8@subgenius.com>
You asshole, if this suckass church wouldn't pay to send NENSLO to x-day
why do you think they'd pay to send YOU, a cheap NENSLO IMITATOR to a
cheap IMITATION X-day. Oh. Guess that answers itself.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Help send Legume to XXX Day (Attn:Rocknar)
From: legume@subgenius.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Feb 29, 2000 7:19 PM
Message-ID: <38bc6262_4@news5.newsfeeds.com>
In article <38BC4C68.51A8@subgenius.com>, iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com> wrote:
>You asshole, if this suckass church wouldn't pay to send NENSLO to x-day
>why do you think they'd pay to send YOU, a cheap NENSLO IMITATOR to a
>cheap IMITATION X-day. Oh. Guess that answers itself.
Go back to your room, grandpa. Yer scaring the cat.
Maybe, O Mighty Nenslo, they'd be willing to contribute because I provide them
with something you don't (entertainment). Maybe they'll do it out of
appreciation for all the work I've done to make X-Day the freak-fest it's been
in the past. Maybe they'd rather pay to have the company of someone
who'll party WITH them, instead of a nasty-tempered old reprobate like YOU
who'll only crawl out from under his rock at night to stare longingly at
Locnar's bepimpled ass and jack off. Maybe they'll do it because they actually
LIKE me; you wouldn't know about that, ya cantankerous, wretched old
third-rate Andy Rooney impersonator, because NOBODY likes you (not even your
mother and fathers).
MAYBE they'll do it just to SPITE YOU.
Wouldn't that make ya feel better?
Love and Kisses,
Legume
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Help send Legume to XXX Day (Attn:Rocknar)
From: iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Feb 28, 2000 8:16 PM
Message-ID: <38BC6F59.5C46@subgenius.com>
Legume wrote:
>
> In article <38BC4C68.51A8@subgenius.com>, iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com> wrote:
> >You asshole, if this suckass church wouldn't pay to send NENSLO to x-day
> >why do you think they'd pay to send YOU, a cheap NENSLO IMITATOR to a
> >cheap IMITATION X-day. Oh. Guess that answers itself.
>
> Go back to your room, grandpa. Yer scaring the cat.
>
> Maybe, O Mighty Nenslo, they'd be willing to contribute because I provide them
> with something you don't (entertainment). Maybe they'll do it out of
> appreciation for all the work I've done to make X-Day the freak-fest it's been
> in the past. Maybe they'd rather pay to have the company of someone
> who'll party WITH them, instead of a nasty-tempered old reprobate like YOU
> who'll only crawl out from under his rock at night to stare longingly at
> Locnar's bepimpled ass and jack off. Maybe they'll do it because they actually
> LIKE me; you wouldn't know about that, ya cantankerous, wretched old
> third-rate Andy Rooney impersonator, because NOBODY likes you (not even your
> mother and fathers).
>
And maybe not. I said it answers itself ya big lavender creampuff.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Help send Legume to XXX Day (Attn:Rocknar)
From: legume@subgenius.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Feb 29, 2000 9:59 PM
Message-ID: <38bc87c4_2@news5.newsfeeds.com>
In article <38BC6F59.5C46@subgenius.com>, iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com> wrote:
>And maybe not. I said it answers itself ya big lavender creampuff.
Wanna fuck?
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Help send Legume to XXX Day (Attn:Rocknar)
From: iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Feb 29, 2000 1:06 AM
Message-ID: <38BCB34A.23B@subgenius.com>
Legume wrote:
>
> In article <38BC6F59.5C46@subgenius.com>, iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com> wrote:
>
> >And maybe not. I said it answers itself ya big lavender creampuff.
>
> Wanna fuck?
>
Well, usually. But I don't know - I see you with Lilith. Sort of a
21st century version of Herbie and his Neanderthal girlfriend.
Legume: Want me to bop you with this here lollipop?
Lilith: Ugh.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Help send Legume to XXX Day (Attn:Rocknar)
From: HellPope Huey <hphuey2000@my-deja.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Mar 1, 2000 2:00 AM
Message-ID: <89if5i$3pi$1@nnrp1.deja.com>
In article <38BCB34A.23B@subgenius.com>,
iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com> wrote:
> Legume wrote:
> >
> > In article <38BC6F59.5C46@subgenius.com>, iPRONO
<nenslo@subgenius.com> wrote:
> >
> > >And maybe not. I said it answers itself ya big lavender creampuff.
> >
> > Wanna fuck?
> > >
> Well, usually. But I don't know - I see you with Lilith. Sort of a
> 21st century version of Herbie and his Neanderthal girlfriend.
> Legume: Want me to bop you with this here lollipop?
> Lilith: Ugh.
>
Aw, FUCK Legume, send ME instead! I can rant until I pass out and the
crowd waves frop under my nose and revives me and then gets me to rant
some more and it ain't just that Stang-derivative ArnoldClessians stuff
neither, this is the REAL DOPE SHIT! We all KNOW what he'll do, but
*I*'m the new wild card on the block. I been percolatin' fer 17 years,
so I'm ready to shoot a plasmic jizz wad all the way into Amish country.
In addition, I can play hot, bizarre music until the next musos' turn;
I have a bitchin' barrelhouse piano piece on tap that won't leave a dry
crotch in the place. Me am HELLPOPE, me fuckin' well PROVE it. I did it
at Tampa, I'll do it again. And again. Just ask yer bored-out sister
with the manta-ray-wing floppy twat.
Besides, the profits'll get partially et up by the bulldozer it'll
take to push Legume's bloated ego aside so folks can see the goddamned
STAGE. Save "Bob" money, boycott Legume! The Bobtism'll take care of
itself. Fuck, all ya gotta do is holler "DINNER!" and people are
strippin' off at warp 9.
Same with the Blood Wrestlin'. Subs need no encouragement to slide
around in goo buck nekkid. Its STOPPIN' 'em that's hard, unlike LePoof's
alleged dick.
Well, then again, he DOES have a mean aim with a potato gun. I still
have the occipital lump to prove it. I oughta give due deference to the
Dobbsly, even to them whut barfs me. Tell ya what; let's have the
S.L.A.K. Squad grab Rocknar by the ankles, upend him and gather the
bucks for BOTH of us to show up.
If I deliver, Legume has to blow me. If I DON'T deliver as promised.
Legume can blow me UP. Deal? OK, then.
HellPope Huey,
Hideous Penis Music, A SubDivision of Please Don't Drink The Inc.
"Got the style, not the grace, got the clothes, not the face...
Got the house, not the deed, got the horn, not the reed...
Hey-o, they love the way I do it,
hey-o, there's really nothin' to it.
I got the moon, I got the cheese,
got the whole damned nation on its knees."
- Tom Waits
"I'm going to get to the BOTTOM of this!"
"You already ARE at the bottom of this."
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Help send Legume to XXX Day (Attn:Rocknar)
From: Unit 4 <UnitIV@SPUTUM.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: unit4@sputum.com
Date: Wed, Mar 1, 2000 4:50 AM
Message-ID: <guppbsg6vktr4fkdro2vc32hfta8g5usn8@4ax.com>
On Tue, 29 Feb 2000 14:47:05 -0800, iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com> wrote,
in alt.slack:
}You asshole, if this suckass church wouldn't pay to send NENSLO to x-day
}why do you think they'd pay to send YOU,
Distance.
Brushwood. Philly. Portland.
Do the math.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Help send Legume to XXX Day (Attn:Rocknar)
From: jimvan@gate.net (Jim Vandewalker)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Mar 1, 2000 9:29 AM
Message-ID: <38bd2874.4166390@news.newsguy.com>
On Wed, 01 Mar 2000 04:50:40 -0500, Unit 4 <UnitIV@SPUTUM.com> wrote:
>On Tue, 29 Feb 2000 14:47:05 -0800, iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com> wrote,
>in alt.slack:
>
>}You asshole, if this suckass church wouldn't pay to send NENSLO to x-day
>}why do you think they'd pay to send YOU,
>
>Distance.
>
>Brushwood. Philly. Portland.
>Do the math.
>
The thing is, we don't actually KNOW if it's a critical mass or even how
fast the chain reaction would be. I say LET'S FIND OUT! The math says
it's only a three to one shot it'll rip a hole in the space-time
continuum. Probably a LOT of the planet would survive. Much more than
you'd think.
--
Jim the Dead Guy
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Help send Legume to XXX Day (Attn:Rocknar)
From: legume@subgenius.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Mar 1, 2000 11:28 AM
Message-ID: <38bd4556$1_2@news5.newsfeeds.com>
In article <89if5i$3pi$1@nnrp1.deja.com>, HellPope Huey
<hphuey2000@my-deja.com> wrote:
> Besides, the profits'll get partially et up by the bulldozer it'll
>take to push Legume's bloated ego aside so folks can see the goddamned
>STAGE.
People as great as I have no need of ego.
> If I deliver, Legume has to blow me.
Geez, don't be desperate, Huey. I'll share Nenslo with you. We can tag-team.
Gumey
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Help send Legume to XXX Day (Attn:Rocknar)
From: legume@subgenius.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Mar 1, 2000 11:21 AM
Message-ID: <38bd43a5_2@news5.newsfeeds.com>
In article <38BCB34A.23B@subgenius.com>, iPRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com> wrote:
>Well, usually. But I don't know - I see you with Lilith. Sort of a
>21st century version of Herbie and his Neanderthal girlfriend.
>Legume: Want me to bop you with this here lollipop?
>Lilith: Ugh.
P-lil? No way. Not grizzled enough. It's gotta be YOU, Nenslo. C'mere and let
me rub my nuts on your skull-plate.
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