Hour of Slack #1508 - Creating God in a Test Tube

Body Image and Daylight Savings Time: Space Control Vs. Time Control

We were feeling frisky this time, possibly because of the Daylight Savings Time change that happened the night before. The opening 15 minutes includes some collages by a new contributor, Rev. Carlton, and a classic Father Joe Mama rant. "The LUV of "Bob." Also, the Wolfman gets counselling in a clip from THE HOUSE OF DRACULA. But then we go live, and Dave calls in, and it gets pretty darned cosmical and Time-Control-y. Stang reads a short rant on DST by Rev. Zafod. The marvels of Creationism are discussed at length. Dave reveals that he has the DNA of Jesus in him, which leads to a discussion of possibly isolating that God gene, cloning God, then sending Him back in time to stop the Big Bang from happening and thus allowing PURE Slack to continue forever. Or something. Oh and TUROK, SON OF STONE is fully analyzed. Yet another British hard rock version of THE BRAG OF THE SUBGENIUS is played.

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1 LeMur: HOS Intro #905 - Crowbait Bob Gunsmoke 00:41

2 LeMur: PR Gnus #1776 00:39

3 LeMur: Cancer Cell, Body Fat 00:43

4 Curing Wolfman 01:47

5 Sappy advice to Wolfman 01:01

6 Rev. Lee Carlton - BARBIE vomit 02:45

7 Papa Joe Mama - The Luv Of Bob X 06:35

8 Rev. Lee Carlton - Market CULTmix 2 01:33


9 cn Live Track 3-8-2015 39:41

All about money! The Wolfman's body image problem. Credits for collages, rants, etc. Dave calls in but Stang is confused at first due to the brand new board at the station, plus the Con changed our Time Control. Dave's social phobia and the CoSG whorehouse of iniquity. Send us your raggedy, your stinking of Frop bored rich kids, your easily influenced gullible rich kids. These rich kids already think of themselves as "pigs" and have worst body images; they ARE pigs but all think they're too fat, even the fat ones! The Wolfman's body image prob. The Con's SPACE CONTROL: they make ladies think they're supposed to look like Barbie; for Time Control, Daylight Savings Time. Nixon and DST and 55 mph. The world's humans won't have water in 100 years but oh well. Everyone will have to fart for a cause. Stang's burping talent demonstrated; his much greater burping niece who tricked the schoolteachers into thinking her hilarious deliberate belches were a "condition." We must track down the descendants of LePetomaine. Dave's Creationist theories. Men, Unicorns and Dragons frolicked in the Garden of Eden. Jesus riding dinosaurs as an Internet meme. Creationists: dragons, unicorns real, but dinosaurs are fake. Redneck artists who make dinosaur skeleton sculptures made from auto and tractor parts. "Bob" invented the dinosaurs in a lab in 1956, that was during millineum-savings time. Leap ahead 100,000 years. "WHEN" is a moot question. That's why 1998 hasn't happened yet -- cheated DST. Dark Ages Savings Time. What do you mean "what IF"? Stang reads Zafod's rant about DST. Dave on Green AND Tea Partier Floridians fighting big utility companies re: solar power. No labial controls?!? Philo might start calling in, due to his Time Control. Being surrounded by libtards turns a SubG into a rightard, and vice versa. "If I lived in Berkeley I'd become an insane right winger like Dr. Drummond." When we're raised in redneck land you rebel and become a libtard. But when people assume you're cool you want to prove them wrong! Just cause I have long hair and smell like skunk that doesn't mean I'm a libtard hippie, although I AM. Stang reads the Hippie Classified Ads from Hippie Magazine in the MAD ABOUT THE 60s reprint of classic MAD magazines. Stang sings praises of MAD Magazine. National Lame-poon, The Onion, Cracked. Discussion of Cleveland Heights magazine FUNNY TIMES. Can't tell I'm a hippie cause I hide my braid in that cavity in the back of my head where my brain used to be, because they'll profile ya, and then "I see that guy's profile; I'll kill him." Will the cops shoot you for drawing a picture of them arresting someone? Or just cameras? Stang's scheme to, on X-Day, collect all the living Komodo Dragons, clone them, shrink himself down, and fight them to the death using cool giant switchblades that shoot fire. Like fave video game Monster Hunter! ((MONSTER HUNTER music is playing in background.)) Stang recounts the time when Homo Floresiensis battled Komodo Dragons - "cavemen fighting dinosaurs!" At some point Stang's dream came true! Dave on TUROK SON OF STONE comics. Turok and Andar in a world without Indian women - just cavemen. Dave strange colleseum rant. The Large sent some new music, in background but must be careful because later part has porno soundtrack. Stang chimps out, excited about the cavemen and the dinosaurs. Stang quizzes Dave about his body image. Dave could hide his braid in his brain cavity, had he a braid. Description of Dave's double-mean baby head, the parasitic twin. Does Dave have royal blood? The bloodline of Jesus! But they didn't exist so Dave isn't really here either. The Bible a made-up story of whole cloth like SOME like to do? Dr. Sinister re: Jesus lineage. Joseph not His biological father though! (Americans are the true israel of the Bible.) If you have the DNA of Jesus, then you'd also have the DNA of GOD in your blood! Can we isolate the God DNA and then, like Jurassic Park, create a new God in a test-tube, I tell you! We'll make a God then He'll make a time machine and go back to the Big bang -- so if we can STOP those guys from creating a God then there won't be a Big Bang and we'll all have SLACK!! Didn't you see WoTF? It's been like THX-1138 and The Matrix this whole time. Calling this college radio station is a recurrent nightmare. We're just recordings anyway. If you put enough monkeys in front of enough mics, given enough time, they're recreate this exact Hour of Slack. Dave's body image. We don't recognize the "us" in old pictures. Must be actors playing us. That didn't happen! I'd remember! Or would I? Gives me wood in my eye just to think of it. If farmers would quit throwing baby girls down wells then maybe we'd have more farmer's daughters and salesmen. Pornography on the internet is the cause of all of it. News items from the Future with Future Savings Time.


10 LeMur: PR Gnus #1777 00:27

11 Mythicall Burroughing Animals - "Uncle Oxygen" (actually Brag of the SubGenius. 03:42

12 Puz Ev Large clip on Rakes 01:30

13 Hendrix WCSB ID 00:30

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Slack, Bob Dobbs, Hour of Slack, comedy, conspiracy, collage, satire, X-Day, sex, Church of the SubGenius, Ivan Stang, The Firesign Theatre, Dr. Hal, Puzzling Evidence, Dr. Philo Drummond, Rev. Susie the Floozie, Lonesome Cowboy Dave, Ministry of Slack, McLuhan, movie trivia, DEVO, apocalypse, end of the world, Priestess Pisces, Dr. Legume, LeMur

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