Hour of Slack #1205 - Live Star Trek Spoiler Special - May 10 '09

59:36

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LOG:

1    HOS Intro #841 - Strangelove #1 00:29

2    Kleptons Intro Church copy 02:13

3     2bd_Typical American Boy #01     00:52

4    Talk With Dobbs #01  01:02

5    3 NR-choose psychological drug abuse 00:28

6    Uncle "Bob" #02     00:20

7    4 Sun_Bob_The Large     00:23

8     Homelock #03 - Kreml Hashish Dobbs 01:56

9    4NR-i cannot see     00:46

10   HOS Intro #835 - Try The Wine 00:18

11   5NR-what have i ever done_ 00:25

12   6 BobsRekall -Neuromanson-Stang     00:41

13   Dog Oper #02     00:52

14   8 Rorschach-God-LockedIn     00:36

15   9 Live Yak 1205 48:06

Star Trek spoilers - Dave calls - One Size Fights All - Invisible Warfare, we can't say per se. Once per hour. Col. Spoke is not in new Star Trek Movie, but did use clever fake Nimoy. I cried when Pouty Poody died - childhood heroes. Stang's curled toesnails - can't walk, but can talk the talk. Jack-off all trades - rough trades. But we can't all be meterosexuals. Don't do that private thing while I'm around - "Would you leave then?" My old human slave name - named after owners the Stangs, actual name Rasputin/Romanov. But no one believes kook stories like Russian heirs, secret agents, from future or past. I'm from distant past; Wei is queen of Unidentified F.O.s. Dave has wee mouse in his head - poke that show in his ear - we are tool users - give the show a hook shape, dip it into ear of listener and draw out the attention. You're breaking up! Cracking up, but not cracking me up. Our low-budget sound effects filters. Cracked vs. cracked,com. But their psuedo-Alfred E Neuman was like a Canadian rip-off of True Dobbs. Canadians and Mexicans stealing from us like vampires - left giant holes in neck of the Mississipi river. Water is POURING out of our country into the oceans! We must build a big fence - a WALL AROUND AMERICA. Must wall off ocean and borders with 40,000 foot high walls all the way around U.S.A. Are we gonna let the Chinese out-wall us? We have more slaves, prisoners, to build the Great Wall of America. Just drop Hawaii and Alaska -- SINK 'EM. Must protect America! And must stretch a net over it. Might be a bit shady. Need giant US-shaped BOX. Put it in Europe too! But we have treaties -- George Washington chopped down the cherry treaties, didn't lie about it. (Washington was a Texan -- technically a Mexican.

I don't know what I'm trying to get ME to say. But that won't stop this show! I envy those listeners who get to listen to us go on and on and on & on &on&ON&ON. Our 3 listeners - our show is gonna be cancelled; THANK GOD!! ((Stang leaves studio.)) Dave as station legal dept. Says we STILL have to do the show. Why didn't "Bob" call? We're not on the air now, are we? I'm in the parking lot. I left this excellent CD running in background. Dave insists we ARE on the air. I've been praying for 24 years that they'd just pull the plug on this show. But I get 24 years OFF slave labor in Dobbstown - only 50 more years left. READY TO QUIT! Hoss, and hosses. Don't cut no ice with me. Throw that mic down! Preachers back then didn't CARE what Stang would have to pay for the microphone. Now, spoiled rotten -- too much Slack. "Bob" used to dunk people in Slack, no charge -- parable of the fishing pole and the trout almondine.

Tuning and tweaking the ahem KNOBS is what it's all about. I got more than one know, too. I have some things in bunches -- new meaning to the term clusterlove. This show is one big clusterlove. Sign up or die, or join the Church. It's the slickest poo-flinging you'll ever experience, whether you're flinger or flingee.

One more X-Day coming. They come every year - IN OUR MINDS! X-Day is a concentration camp surrounded by Bob Wire. Bob Wire Song.  Dave on the Slack Party you can't leave. Stang promos new Electro-Stimulo Negative Reinforcement Wristbands, John Deere Tractor Beam Beach Party, the Never-Ending Searchlight Beam, hot foam party. Total destruction save what we save: so must preserve what we want. Dave has dibs on the giant flying merkins. It's great and grating - the exploding children. Stang used to go without Slack but not this year. Kids will do it. Baby Pisces, Baby Modemac, Baby Legume etc. The ones who didn't join by 1982 - babies. Not pygmyfied. We only dwarf their brains and their emotions. If "Bob" doesn't offer proof then we're superstitious suckers. Stang religion rant! Same old song, EYIYIYI. "Bob" don't ever change. It's the SAME "Bob"! Your ATTITUDE to him may change from when he's being Good or Bad to you but HE does not change. He is the eternal goodevil goodbad - the ambiguity at the center of the Universe. Yet he is the wellspring of all realities. He's the father, son, holy ghost, mom and rugrats. He's a whole neighborhood unto himself, albeit not a very safe one.

YOU ARE "Bob's" ASHTRAY!! That Pipe's waste matter has to be dumped -- he dumps it into your head - pours the fruits of his smoking into your skull via this show. You get emptied now and then. You'll be part of the great Dobbstown dump heap. Composted for the WORMS! The worms are "Bob's" most numerous customers, and outweigh all creatures who live above the ground. Dave LOAM song. WAKE UP! And go back to sleep. Master the Stoogely Arts.

Other Star Trek spoiler - Kirstie Allie is a dancing girl - everything's a bazoomba anywhere you grab on that thing. One swell foop. The swelling foop. Dave: what's wrong with me? The list scroll reached from here to the moon, a hard drive big enough to hold the Akashic Records. BUT! The list of "Bob's" promises is a godzillion times larger. "Bob" is the ultimate fluffer. Preparing you. Plumping you for the right juices. The new X-Ray machines at the airports where Homeland Security men mock the women and HS woman mock the male passengers. Leering, drooling, and laughing. They can see WHY you wear that truss, how MUCH that bra is padded, the dagger in your boot. 9-11 changed everything.

Let's mince words and torture them till they talk! Waterboard them till they SPILL! "Bob" will put it to you. We -- and Dave and me -- will too. Listless Curmudgeon Dave - 3 more listeners chant. X-Day coming soon - to most of our listeners it's only a month away. SubGenius.com mention. You won't meet your maker unless your parents are SubGeniuses. Details of Escape Vessels -- won't be stuck with idiot Bobbies. You'll have your own Vessel -

End of show.

Background music by Rev. Ivan Stang (IGAZUM UNMIXED)

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THE SUBGENIUS HISTORY COURSE: http://www.maybelogic.net/

Radio Synaesthesia: http://wcsb.org

Rev. Susie the Floozy and "Bob's" Slacktime Funhouse, WREK: http://wrek.org

Phineas Narco/Natinal Cynical Radio: http://nationalcynical.com

Dr. Hal Robins: http://askdrhal.com and http://piratecatradio.com

Rev. Norel Pref: http://norelpref.com

The Ministry of Slack: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/the-ministry-of-slack

The Amino Acids: http://theaminoacids.com

TO DONATE TO THE FUND, OR TO READ LATEST NEWS ON MAGDALEN'S CASE:

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The Church of the SubGenius Radio Ministry seeks to brainwash you totally into abject lifelong subservience to The High Epopt and Living SlackMaster, J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

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