Hour of Slack #1153 -- Live 5-11-08 - "Bob," Dave, and the Naked Guy in the Ditch

59:59

Mostly improvisational religious trance spouting, live in the studio with Lonesome Cowboy Dave, Princess Wei 'R.' Doe and Rev. Ivan Stang, punctuated by collages and PSAs from LeMur, Pref and a possible "Bob" recording found by iDRMRSR. Just John background music is abused, Stang reads Unclaimed Mysteries, Wei reads part of a new Onan Canobite pamphlet, Superior Mutants. The majority of this particular episode is completely insane -- and yet it won many new converts while it was first being aired. Go figure.

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1     LeMur: PCD 133 - After The Flood     00:18

2    Norel Pref: you're a primitive     00:12

3     LeMur: HOS Intro #778 - How Are We Supposed To Know?     00:33

4    Norel Pref:rubber neck perverts     00:29

5    Wacky Bob  00:41

6    Rev. Maynard Brainard - 1-800-7-     00:19

7     LeMur: HOS Intro #779 - Zimbabwe's Electoral Body 00:18

8    Norel Pref:the children must learn slack 00:36

9    Norel Pref:A blind alley 00:24

10   The Black Lodge Singers: Ask Your Mom For 50 Cents 00:40

LIVE YAK: Reading Unclaimed Mysteries' HOMELAND SECURITY RADIO Nonstandard Reporting PSA.  Credits Black Lodge Singers, Lemur, Maynard, Norel. Dave Help Line "calls" Wei - Wei scared. 666 Blvd. Drive. Kids are scary - no planet for an old man. Back then ya kept your extra parts hidden. You HID your colostomy bag, didn't dangle decorator peace sign colostomy bags like these young 80 year old kids. Signals tickle your forebrain -- only a bolt of lightning can erase those. Back when you could see the sun. It probably still rises, but it's a moot point for us down here. How many knees you got? Got muh knee... but muh knee's no good. Torture in Dobbstown? We call it "selling." We have a new recording of "Bob", found by iDRMRSR, well maybe it's "Bob's" cousin.

11     iDRMRSR: b @dobbs1     01:15

12     LeMur: Calcium #5   00:09

13   Norel Pref: change yer life 00:16

14   Norel Pref: connected to the world 00:29

 This program connects you to the other world. That was no "Bob" - fake Brit accent. "Bob's" your uncle. Betty Boop is your Aunt. Bib Dibbs. Whistling eye -- can blow smoke out that eye-hole. Crazy Dave muttering. We don't know what year it is. Don't know when now is, or where here is. The time machine problem -- planet and sun scoot out from under you the second you detach from time -- so when you re-enter time, you're in outer space. Earth has moved on, out from under you. Earth 5 seconds from now will be thousands of miles away. Drowning in time itself! Swelling up with Time, having to Spew it out of your mouth. Dobbs people ascend. Luke Warm 3:17. Dobbs in Bible times. "Old woman, can you show me the way to Dobbstown?" "Bob" with backwards-turned head on the road to Tarsis. Dobbs Bible Story. IS THAT YOU, FRIEND? Are you sleepin' on the road to Tarsus when you should be on the road to Dobbstown or Brushwood? When you are unburdened of your dollars, and lay them upon the body of "Bob" - you don't wanna be weighted down with materialism and good - you know how to part with those: donate to this station now. THE BANDS OF X-DAY. Short Rabbits, Dave, Amino Acids are in all living things, Fat Free, Mike Bison, Calvin Ball, The Bersificators, Dr. Hal. Alt.slackers have been saying nice things about how funny Dave is. Dave and Hal funniest. Stang jealous. All fear to lay a hand on Rev. Eggplant. YES you can LEAVE this universe, not stranded in the strings - float like smoke lifting up off the bowl of This Pipe Earth! You can escape this Mud Plane, can find a way free of gravity's chains.  And Rise up, inflate, man, like a balloon, by emptying your head and replacing it with gasses lighter than air. What's better than a big juicy steak? Nothing. But a stale crust of bread is better than nothing. Therefore a stale crust is better'n a big juicy steak. But a crust in hand is better than 2 steaks in the bush! More hands and snakes in the bush. Old soldier Dave mutters with Wei.

15     LeMur: PCD 134 - West Nile Virus     00:13

16     LeMur: Criminal Vengeance     00:19

17   Norel Pref:  you got screwed     00:30

18   Norel Pref: dope addict alcoholic     00:43

19     LeMur: DragNest #26 - Smokers     00:54

20     LeMur: PCD 135 - Children     00:11

Thanks to Lemur and Norel, Happy Mothers Day, I heard LeMur was a Superior Mutant from Madagascar. His genes were confused, his pants soggy, lost in dismal abyss... I found LOST episodes in a dismal abyss. I found the shows in a ditch near the Slackermansion, where we find media. But a Crazy Nekkid Man was yanked from the ditch by the Police! -- the media ditch between Slackermansion and Cuttemalloff Mall. Old dvds and a crazy nekkid man, made the news when they TOOK HIM AWAY. He's gone. I wanted to be a naked man in a media ditch and look what happened. Look at the ditch we're in. Indie radio. Podcasts. Being subtitled. But those writing the subtitles are themselves deaf! And I can't read 'em cause they're backwards from my point of view. I don't know what I'm saying. Think of us! We don't know what we're saying! We have to listen to the tape later to know! I feel sorry for you if you thought we were somebody to listen to. It's jes no fun at AWL!! Sometimes it's a nekkid man and sometimes a bulldog! They called us cry-babies -- WaaaaAAAAA!! Slack? Slack? 'Been a while since a whiff of Slack. The surface missiles, the new diseases, I almost cracked like a clay pot. Wei comforts crying dave. Here here. Now Now. There There. It could be much much worse -- that's what makes me feel better. Let's go to the news, that's worse than anything. Flood problems - antideluvian.

21     LeMur: PR Gnus #1405 00:37

22     LeMur: PCD 138 - Fat And Sugar 00:18

23   Norel Pref: everybody dies 00:31

24     LeMur: PCD 136 - Children Drugs 00:22

25   Norel Pref: you're a primitive     00:31

26   Norel Pref: impurities in your system     00:37

LIVE YAK OVER SUBGENIUS INSTRUMENTALS:

     Just-John: "Brunozzi-080413," The Psycho Skeletons: "Letter K Audio", "Chorus of Bobbies" by Mickey Mephistopheles

Wei reads SUPERIOR MUTANTS pamphlet opening by Onan Canobite! Dave sings out his joy in "Bob". Is that a Dobbshead in yr pants dude? I wanna cram as many Dobbsheads down the front of my britches as I can, I wanna be cooL! Yeah! We can pick up some chicks! Special SubGenius "B-OOO-OB" party! Dave at the "Bob" party... gets to sit with Bob and the nekkid guy. The anything for a laugh trio. I wish I could be Slaaaack... wish I was Bob and evil and Slaaaack... I wish these Dobbshead would get out of my pants... I just wanna get in that ditch with "Bob"! (Bubbling Bob chorus background) WHO IS "BOB"? Is he a real man, or a figment of the imaginations of deleted minions? Thank you. Wei: a butthein hellion! A phrase to dribble over the lips and tongue. Wei makes a wish, Dave pledges to "Bob" - Dave's 3 wishes. It doesn't matter if you remember those things or who you are because you have BOB in your life! Don't you? If not, subgenius.com. Sub as in submarine and genius as in not what we are. Music credits -- Mickey Mephistopholes at Starwood, Psycho Skeletons, Just-John.com and the os in dot com -- Lucifer Rising soundtrack history - they'll come looking for you. I think they already found us, just sitting back and watching. Waitin' to see what we do. They got it all planned out. Every little thought in your head is mapped out by the Conspiracy in advance. Free will? HAH! Why you think we're saying this? You think we WANT to? I can't wait to play this back I know what I'm saying! I need to go to the bathroom. Cut to public service message. 

30   PCD 137 - Vermont Drugs 00:22

Stang introduces Neanderthal synthetic voice recording:

31     neanderthal     00:08

(Background music is Just-John: "Windhandle-080413")

Did Neandershal rub 2 sides of his throat together? They looked much like Dave. Striking resemblance. Half as intelligent but twice as erstwhile. You're in the ditch and he ain't. You're either in the ditch or out of the ditch" -- Hen Heasy.

Just John's blindfolded Neanderthal clown music of the apocalypse. Rev. Jess Eatit ran off with Rev. Cody Pendant. Don't know don't tell. Oh man that's hilarious huh ha a a a a. Neanderthal lemmings. The arts of the ancients, I wanted to be among them, and now I am them and they are me. And you are up shift creek without a shift stick. You've been absolved. But we've been sticking around all this time. The end is near. Something spooky is coming. Might not be Bob. Might be Rob or a Bad JOB! Something sinister. Smells wicked. Dave whispers creepily. "Bob" promises to all of us that it will be okay. I'm okay; you're okay. I don't care; YOU don't care. Dave on firing squad, interrogates Wei, tries to get her to talk to the elf people. But she's married yet dead. Isn't everyone who's dead married? Another show next week. Another religion? A new religion every minute, right around the corner!

33     Chewable Bob     00:35

34   Norel Pref: oh man that's hilarious     00:26

35     LeMur: PCD 139 - Lose Weight     00:20

36     LeMur: PR Gnus #1406 00:31

Background music in credits: Rev. Just-John
http://just-john.com

Dr. Hal Robins: http://askdrhal.com

Rev. Norel Pref: http://norelpref.com

"Bob's" Slacktime Funhouse, WREK, MP3 podcast: http://tinyurl.com/gpyba

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The Church of the SubGenius Radio Ministry seeks to brainwash you totally into abject lifelong subservience to The High Epopt and Living SlackMaster, J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

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