Many YEARs ago I had just finished the book REVELATION X and was thinking, HEY, I know, I'll kick back and spend a week or so boning up on this Internet stuff that everybody's talking about!

And then the horror and the wonder began.

Very shortly after first stumbling into alt.slack, where MY MIND WAS BLOWN, I started posting these little reports/rants to let my newfound and oldfound-but-connected pals, and the vast SubGenius membership at large, know what we were up to here in The SubGenius Foundation skyscraper headquarters. (Actually, the REAL work is done in the cave underneath Elm Street, but we like to pretend we're in the penthouse (actually rented out to some big corporation, for now).)

Those of you who went through the crucible of Internet Mastery -- from AOL frippery to DAMNED SERIOUS Web abuse -- may find my travails hilariously and yet horrifyingly familiar. Those just starting out on that road may find some helpful hints as well as some dashed hopes. The dashed hopes part will be particularly painful to those who are simply PANTING to know what sort of degenerate goings-on occur at our cult headquarters on a daily basis.(However, needless to say, we DON'T tell all because, who knows, some p.r.-hungry BATF official may be surfing this part of the Net.)

Spinning Bloody Stang Nose art by IrRev. Friday Jones (in remembrance of my post-X-Day 98 vertigo-and-sinus-surgery Slackathon).; art to the right there by Palmer Vreedeez.

This part of the list is in reverse chronological order, with the most recent posts at the top. (See BELOW for MISC. NON INTERNET RELATED ARTICLES, INTERVIEWS)

XXXmas-Y2K message

11-19-1999 Stang Report

Wei Calendar "Making Of"

Ivan Stang Report 10-23-99

9-21-99 The Old Buzzard Has Landed!
9-13-99 Last Post from Dallas
8-26-99 Weird Talk Show coincidence
8-06-99 STARWOOD SURVIVED AGAIN!
8-05-99 Back in Dallas; Scanning-Linking
4-20-99 SMITHS
4-16-99 YOW!! NEW FIRST MEGAFISTEMPLE LODGE BUILDING!!
3-27-99 DALLAS VIDEO FEST
2-18-99 Compressed Politics Rant
2-99-nasty-politics
SUBGENIUS MOVIE NOTES 1-13-99

Happy 5-23-98, ya'll!
CON WINS, I ALMOST GIVE UP
REPORT TO ABS
SIGNS IN THE HEAVENS and SIGNS IN THE EARTH
SimpleNet Clarifies Everything
Steve Jackson Games website
SubGenius Stalker, 3-98
The Cult Next Door
CULT NEWS, AUSTIN SHOW
DRILL REPORT
6-28-97 Pre Drill Report
Seduction of the Innocent
ASTOUNDING DISCOVERY IN BEREA!
GET THEE TO ALT.BINARIES.SLACK
Official Church Update from Jesus, 6-5-97
RE- SHIT LIST
HATE HATING!!
NEW DEVIVAL, NUDE EVIVAL PICS on SuBsItE!
SECRET JUNK YARD DALLAS DEVIVAL
NUT WRENCHING TERROR
ATTENTION DALLASITES
ATLANTA DEVIVAL '97
BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT
4-26-97 Report
Camel Milk Ice Cream
Hendrix Blather
HOUR OF SLACK 578/5-7 Report
SCANNER BLUEY
Official Church Update from Jesus, 4-22-97
DALLAS in '98 -- WHY THE DRILLS?
Gol Durn that ZIPPO!
EMAILING FROP
EMAILING YOURSELF
WHAT YOU GOT IN THAT THING?
HOUR OF SLACK 574 Heaven's Gate Still Swinging
Official Church Update from Jesus 2BX 4/3/97
SRL show follow-up (fwd)
SLAMMING HEAVEN'S GATE
CULT OF DUMBASSES MISINTERPRETS DOBBS, JUMPS GUN!!
COINCIDENCE???
RIOT AT SRL SHOW!!
HOUR OF SLACK 572
THANKS, S.P.U.T.U.M.!! THANKS, WIRED!
LORDY MERCY GREAT GOGS A MIGHTY!!! (More SXSW SubNews)
SXSW SubGenius Appearances and Devival Details
X-DAY SONGLIST REQ'D!!
SAVE THE JANOR CAMPAIGN
a-OOOOO-gah!! MY MEMBERSHIP ARRIVED!!
New Text Causes Tiny Swell in SubSITE Size!
Nasty Comments on Stang
2-2-1BX Hour of Slack/WCSB/Audioactive sounds GREAT!
SUNDAY NIGHT IS SUBGENIUS NIGHT ON THE INTERNET!
Foundation Science Report 1-30 -- detailed look at SubSITE 'stats'
1-27-1BX HQ STANKREPORT: SUBSITE EXPLODES!!
CHURCH NEWS Jan. 18, 1 BX
THE 100th BONOBO -- a short rant done for Jim Blanchard's BAD MEAT comics
PRAISE "BOB," I'M DEPRESSED!! (or "It's A Wonderful Life")
12-10-96 NICOTINE WITHDRAWAL HORROR RANT/HoS 558
TRICKY NEW CRAP AT SUBSITE
NEW CRAP at SUBSITE
A BUSY WEEK.5 or 2 -- 10-31-96
A PREDICTION FOR LATE '97
Hour of Slack #549 log (with Essay)
SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION NEWS 9-1-2BX
SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION NEWS 8-28-96
New Message! 8-18-96
Did I break SUNSite?
Re: The Island of Dr. Moreau
STARWOOD SLACKFUL DESPITE LEGUME'S BOMB MISFIRE
DALLAS STORM REPORT
FOUNDATION H.Q. UPDATE 6-28-2
Leary.
ALERT! BONOBOS n "BOB" on AOL!
May 5 Stang Report
WHEELED DEATH TO VISIT GGG
SO THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO CHRISTIANITY
Do You Enjoy JUDGING Your FELLOW SUBGENII??
Jesus Arrives in Dallas
HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL 1-26-96, before leaving on Slack Crusades
Subject: Re: Stang & Viacom
NEW RANT:
Nenslo Nearly Blinded
GANG AFT AGLEEEEEeeeee 1-9-2BX
I'M GONNA PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH
SUBSITE NOW HAS VIDEOS!!!
SubSITE VIDEO/AUDIO repair
Hollywood to Exploit Yetis!
LOOK AT ALT.BINARIES.SLACK
New Games, Soundz and GWAR-pics
Home Agin 11-9-95
GWAR RULZ!!! Bohabs SUCK!!!
BLUBBERING SLOP CHURCH NEWS!
SubSITE now has Church VIDEOS!
Look at SubSITE!!!