FRIENDS -- this list is very old! It was written when the Internet was still young and people were still making photocopied zines. We erased the definitely bad addresses. We'll fix this properly later but for now you should also see SUBGENIUS WEBSITES and this new section, OTHER MUTANTS in the online FIST.

Write any of these noble Servants of Dobbs for their own translations of the Epopt's Spew. Be sure to specify their SubGenius pamphlets, mags and/or tapes; many sell other materials as well. (Send at least $1 and/or SASE for sample, unless otherwise priced).

In all cases, allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. For orders over $20, add $3 shipping and handling. All foreign orders add an extra $5,000,000 shipping and handling. U.S. DOLLARS ONLY.

"Remember: You can't buy Slack, but you can buy this stuff." -- Weeping Cyclops

This list is only the beginning, and is mostly kinda old. Email your entries and updates to stang@subgenius.com!

(from "CALLERS"!!)
Dr. Phineas Narco, PO Box 1247, Jan Jose, CA 95108-1247
Sells his own culled-down edits of "Best Of" KPFA SubGenius show done by Puzzling Evidence and Hal Robins. This guy calls in to the show a lot. So of course it's heavy on his calls. Still, until Puzzling Evidence decides to actually start duping tapes for money-paying customers, this is the best you can get outside of Hour of Slack compilations without staying up till 4 in the morning. $6/90 min.

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"BOB" and NHEE GHEE MASKS
PUT THESE ALIEN OBJECTS OVER YOUR HEAD AND GO OUT IN PUBLIC. DEMAND MONEY OR VISIT NATIONAL MONUMENTS.

All masks hand-finished and hand-painted. The perfect wear for Head-Launchings, devivals, christenings, garage sales, Domino tournaments, pool parties, shindigs, clam-bakes, and CAVORTINGS! The Dobbs Mask is the same as the one seen in our SubGenius/MTV video. Comes with cheap plastic Pipe.
Make checks to "Joe Riley"! Allow about 8 weeks for hand-painting and delivery!
Throw in $3 for his fucked-up comic books. St. Joe Riley is the "Hellswami Satellite Weavers" of the 90s, although that's only because he's in Dallas and the Hellswami moved to L.A. This first of The Threee Joes can BUILD ANYTHING and make it WORK to DESTROY PINKS.

St. Joe Riley
2523 San Paula
Dallas, TX 75228

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Logo by Rev. Jesus Devilacqua

MISC. CLENCH NEWS

I get some email times, and with eeks I've been behaving it up to slump into malt.slack. Why I didn't just strump it immediately, I can't pay. Maybe I was drinking of pooing nintros for these rings. And maybe I swill. I've got nothing better to do than quit here, Abercrombie-like, beformatting this peemail stuff and composting it to Y'ALL. FINALLY. -- Stang

Subject: Campus Crusade for "Bob" news
From: alpropes@rodan.syr.edu (Aaron L. Propes)

Background: SU's Student Government Assoc. voted with only four nays (30+
affirmative) Campus Crusade for "Bob" meager $30 budget (we origionally
asked for about $1500, reduced because this is a new organization on
campus).
However, Seana LaPlace, SGA President, vetoed the budget
(something not done for at least three previous Presidents) calling it
(twice) a, "mockery of the system," and (paraphrase), "if I wanted to
start Campus Crusade for Seana I could and have $30 to spend as I
wanted."
Needless to say, being an organization of extrimists, I (and
at least one other, but so far I'm the only one that was published) took
to The Daily Orange's Editorial Pages. SGA did respond Tuesday, taking
out a full-page ad in the D.O.
What follows is the portion of this that attacks CC"B". Note that this "advertisement", which calls our $30 budget a
"waste of the student fee" used FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS of
student fee money.

*** [my comments will be in brackets]

"BOB" WHO?
It's those little letters to the editor that make the D.O. worth
reading, right? [Oh, look! They're being cute by imitation my style!] I'm
responding to a letter printed on Oct. 25th by Aaron "Bob" Propes. [No,
I'm only a Minion of "Bob" - I'm not worth to be J.R. "Bob" Dobbs.]
I am an SGA assembly member. I was on the same assembly that
allocated "Bob" $30. Congratulation "Bob, you got lucky [sic]. I voted
against your contingency [only one of four people] and I would do it
again. As a matter of fact, Aaron, you were not there [no shit- SGA was
running an hour late, and I had another meeting to go to. Perhaps they
should listen when two of the four organization up for hearings that
night asked to be moved to next week because they were running so late].
You got lucky again. But then, maybe it was "Bob" who was there for you
[Praise "Bob"!].
President LaPlace didn't abuse her power by trying to veto your
contingency. If anything, it is you abusing the system with this
organization [if I REALLY wanted to abuse the system, I'd slide $4000
through the assembly with noone realizing it until it was too late] that
is not about a major, religion, culture, or fraternity [it's for the
culture of ABNORMALITY, you pin-head]. Maybe its me but I know "Bob" does
not promote diversity [you got that one right- except the diversity in
how we cook you non-entities]. Plus there is this one burning question
plaguing me. Who is "Bob" [I've gone through this many times, I'll spare
you the rant, here]? I must be going crazy to even write an article about
a fictional [blashphmer! Stone him! Stone him!] character who has more
money than me [got that right, Pink-Boy].
I had addressed the assembly after giving "Bob" or "Aaron"
(whoever) [oh, boy! He's trying to be cute again!] the $30. I told them
that it made no sense that we gave "him" money because I can go our and
make an organization entitled "Campus Crusde for Me." [why don't you do
that-- but it won't work because we have "Bob" and you don't] In fact I'm
going to do that and get $30 so I can make copies of my resume [oh, what
else shall we expect from you?]. CSA received no funding that day but
"Bob" did, that was ridiculous [no, what's ridiculous is that your get
$420 to pay for something you could do for FREE and call CC"B" a waste of
money!].
"Bob" did win his funding. But I'm starting to wonder if "Bob" is
Aaron or if Aaron is "Bob" [neither, just one of his footsoldiers]. In
any case "Campus Crusade for Bob" [sic] is a mockery of the student fee
[is there rules against that? Nope] and what the student fee represents
[raises for everybody, then!]. Try again Aaron, we'll see what happens
[you bet! See ya next semester when we try to have it reconsidered!]

Anthony Otero
Public Relations Chairman

---
Brother Aaron Propes
Campus Crusade for "Bob"
***

Now THIS is Slack in action! You've put "Bob's" name into the newspaper,
and you ticked off those mind-slaves to the Conspiracy who are actually
dumb enough to believe that student government on campus MEANS something,
other than the school saying "Let's give these kids a place where they can
pretend to be politicians - that way they can grow up to be real
politicians, just like us."

***

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