ATTENTION TO THE FAITHFUL... From: X-ist Lords of the Multiverse

Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Jul 5, 2000 3:42 AM

MESSAGE FROM X-IST CENTRAL COMMAND, NEAR SECTOR
87129624788556598556669963258.1/2:

TO IVAN STANG, SACRED SCRIBE:

IVAN,
TERRIBLY SORRY ABOUT THE DATE MIXUP WITH THE NAPKIN:STOP:

WE TOLD DOBBS ABOUT OVERINDULGING:STOP:

WE WOULD BE THERE SOONER, BUT WE FORGOT THE KEYS TO THE
JUMPGATE, AND HAD TO TURN AROUND HALFWAY TO EARTH, JUST AFTER
PASSING ZETA RETICULI:STOP:

WILL BE THERE IN ABOUT ANOTHER 6661 EARTH YEARS, ABOUT THE
EQUIVALENT OF ONE X-IST KEG PARTY:STOP:

WILL MAKE UP FOR INCONVENIANCE WITH EXTRA 70,000 TONS OF FROP,
AND SUPPLY OF LIQUID SLACK WE JUST DEVELOPED:STOP:

WE WILL BE KEEPING IN TOUCH, AND WE DID RECIEVE YOUR PSYCHIC
UPLOAD OF THIS PAST X-DAY DRILL, PLEASE RELAY THE FOLLOWING
INFORMATION:

TO "GOVERNOR" ROCKNAR, THANKS FOR THE CASH, WE FINALLY GOT THE
OIL CHANGED ON THE SAUCER.

TO LEGUME, STOP KILLING THE PINKS, LEAVE SOME FOR US, WILL YA!!

TO JESUS, PLEASE SEND US THE PLANS FOR THE WATER PARK AND SEXUAL
HEALTH SPA WHEN YOU GET THEM DONE, WE AREA ESPECIALLY LOOKING
FORWARD TO THE "WALK ON WATER, JUST LIKE JESUS" RIDE YOU
SUGGESTED.

TO ALL THE CONNETITES, NICE CALENDER. YOU NEED TO GROW AT LEAST
THREE MORE SETS OF BREASTS TO COMPETE WITH THE SEX GODDESSES,
BUT CONNIE SAYS, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

TO CHAZ, WE LIKE THE ROCKETS, BUT AIM LOWER NEXT TIME, Y0U
DINGED THE PAINT ON OUR LAST PROBE.

TO THE REST, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, AND WE WILL BE ON OUR WAY,
FOREVER...

PS: ELVIS SAYS HI, AND PLEASE, NEXT YEAR, DON'T SPANK NICKIE'S
ASS SO MUCH, WE HAVE PLANS FOR IT.

X-IST COMMAND POST

WE ARE ALL THAT IS, WAS, OR EVER WILL BE...
SO SHUT UP, PAY YOUR 30 BUCKS...AND DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!
THE X-ISTS

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