P-Lil's XX-Day RULES

Date: Fri, 11 Jun 1999 01:43:30 -0700
From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@subgenius.com>

In article <929083281.24613@www.remarq.com>, Friar Fiberglass <anonymous@web.remarq.com> wrote:

>If any one ever really got their money's worth they'd probably wind up as mad as a couple of NORWEGIAN RATS trapped inside Madeline Albright's WONDER BRA. Or else they'd die in a MISERABLE, BLUBBERING pile asperating THEIR OWN VOMIT.
>So count your blessings, or not. IT DOESN'T MATTER.

Of course it fucking matters. Less than 100 showed up, and I'm pretty sure a good chunk of them didn't pay. We were trying all sorts of new things this time around, and it bit us on the ass. Which means there is a universal law we cannot escape: A devival without an obnoxious drunk just ain't a devival. Devivals without drunks may as well be a cutsie SubGenius fanboy convention. You have to bust your ass even more for people who are such ingrates that they wouldn't pay a measley ten bucks for some of the finest ranting ever. A drunk will dish out the money just so he can have something to mock, for it is truly a Dumbass.

Can we fleece the dumbasses without guilt?

Of course. They're DUMBASSES.

However, I am now instituting a new law of the land for any SubGenius devivals I'm running, both here in Seattle and at Brushwood:

THE DRUNKS ARE AT THE MERCY OF THE AUDIENCE.

I do not want anyone to use that as an excuse to hurt others, but I sure as hell expect it to be kept in mind should a drunk start screwing with someone else's good time. I only advocate Responsible Violence. Security's main job will be to escort drunks away from the rest of the crowd. Brownies were used last year for that job, but that was when Dr. Dynasoar and RevEl were serving as security. Consider yourself lucky if they're so gentle this time around. This applies to any other mood- or mind-altering substance. If you OD on melatonin and ginseng suppositories and start urinating on the pulpit, you will be in as much personal danger as you would be if blinded by tequila.

There are exceptions. I'm not telling Legume he can't get stinking-ass drunk and piss on the pulpit. For one thing, he'd probably decide to do it anyway. With all the wires laying around it'd be interesting to watch, and I'm sure Legume would survive electrocution anyhow. Regardless, assholes will be persecuted to the fullest extent of the Law. And what is the law? To refuse to be nice to obnoxious assholes, that is the law, WE NEVER WERE MEN.

The Prophet Lilith

--
======== Popess Lilith von Fraumench * http://come.to/p.lil ========= == Seattle SubGenii! We are the future! http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com == ==== In ecstasy I mock the world - Emperor, "Ye Entrancemperium" ====

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Art jacked w/ by Legume