We have to do better next time

From: "?!" <schabe@dogma.org>
Date: Mon, 12 Jul 1999 12:05:24 +0000

After destroying the world back in '98, I was optimistic. Earth 2
seemed pretty decent, as pink-infested mudballs go. My car worked a
little better than the last one, my job was a little more slackful, and
there were a few more good shows on TV. After a little while, though,
the gloss kinda wore off. I still thought it was better than the old
earth, but every now and then something like Phantom Menace would come
along and just make me despair of the whole thing. By June, I was
beginning to really look forward to the destruction of the earth again.

Now, I haven't had much time to poke around Earth 3, but frankly, I'm
disappointed. Not much improvement over the last one at all. In fact,
I'd have to say that the pinks have gotten *more* annoying this time
around. The scenery's pretty bad overall, the music is definitely
getting worse, and the last Will Smith movie was virtually
bulldada-free. (If it weren't for the giant spider robot, I woulda left
early, frankly.) I think the slack-intensive flavor of XX-Day may have
worked against us -- everything seems slip-shod, thrown together, and
just not thought out. It's like we re-released Earth 2 with a web
browser built in.

Next time, I know I'm going to start sweating the details again. It
hardly seems worthwhile to go to all the trouble of blowing up an entire
fucking planet just to replace it with some half-assed replica, just
because everyone assumed everyone *else* would handle the hard parts.
If I have to sit around ten years from now, reminiscing about how good
we had it on *this* earth, I'm finding another religion.

--
schabe "assembly line" @dogma.org
http://elohim.dogma.org

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From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com>

Well, you see the truth is that Dobbs specified that certain conditions
had to be met in exchange for the "lift" the Xists promised us. One of
those conditions was that there must be a million members of the
Church. Now, we're VERY VERY CLOSE to that number, but we haven't quite
reached it yet. So, in order to boost last-minute sales, we decided to
make Earth 3 even worse than Earth 2 so that latent Yetis will be PUSHED
TOO FAR, and be forced to join the Church out of desperation. Then,
once we get that million members, the Xists will let us do whatever we
want with Earth.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rob Cruickshank" <crescendo@xtra.pullthis.co.nz>

The problem is with Quality Assurance. Someone there is in the pay of the
Conspiracy.

Before XXX-Day, we must find this traitor and...

...um...

...set Friday on him?
--
Rob Cruickshank:
Official SubGenius Avatar and Living Incarnation of Brian the Octopus and
Crazy Max the Turtle, Disciples of the Great White Guppy, Last Seen Sliding
Down the Gullet of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs as the Eponymous Component of a
Goldfish Layback some Years Previously
Keeper of http://come.to/cruickro

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