POINT OF DOCTRINE: A question for the Church

From: e/wbear@hybernia.ca (e/w bear)

As the late Sun-Ra pointed out, you gotta have a Sound Doctrine. Dogma can
take on many amusing forms, but what I'd like to see right now is a clear
statement of Church Doctrine:

Is it the position of the Church that it is OK to infringe upon the free
speech of those who profess different views from our own? Let me make this
as clear as I possibly can: Does the Official Church of The Subgenius
Foundation sanction attacks upon the free speech of others, and if so, with
exactly what justification? I'm not talking about mockery, satire or
parody. I'm talking about outright interference as proscribed by the Bill
of Rights and Federal Law.

It's a reasonable question, isn't it? I mean, you don't REALLY want blind
unquestioning obedience, do you?... or did I miss something on the way in?

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Fishin' for Frank in a Cloudy Tank
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From: DrLegume <legume@subgenius.com>

Yes, Douchebag, in the Church of the SubGenius you are absolutely free
to say ANYTHING you want, but remember this; that freedom of speech also
extends to other folks RAGGING YOUR ASS OUT when you say something
STUPID.

For instance, requesting "a clear statement of Church Doctrine".

Here's your "clear statement of Church Doctrine":

Say what you want.
Shut the fuck up.
Join us.
Get lost.
You are going to Planet X on X-Day.
You are going to the Pleasure Dimension on X-Day.
You are going to have your own planet on X-Day.
The Church of the SubG will get you laid on.
The Church of the SubG will not get you laid.
Puzzling Evidence killed "Bob".
Puzzling Evidence did not kill "Bob".
The Church of the SubGenius is not a joke.
The Church of the SubGenius is not a cult.
The Church of the SubGenius is not a performance art comedy troupe.
The Church of the SubGenius is not a mail-order novelty company.

Give us your 30 bucks or fuck off.
--
Dr.K'taden Legume
Evangelist Gunslinger
Church of the SubGenius (Holocaustal)

Visit the Holocaustal Website at:
http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/index.html

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From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Max Sendq)

Well, we support the wholesale slaughter
of the human race by faceless monstrous
aliens. If that interferes with their
"free speech", I suppose so.

You see, this "bill of rights", "federal
law" stuff- this is the END TIMES, Mr.
Bear. Them X-ists, they're gonna show
up and burn Washington STRAIGHT TO THE
GROUND. I'm not saying we're for it,
I'm not saying we're against it, I'm
just saying it's gonna HAPPEN, is all.
And when those Saucers land, the
Conspiracy's rulebook, hell, even
"Bob"'s rulebook, if he has one, that
is, gets chucked straight out the
window.

I mean, hell, Mr. Bear, I'm as much in
favor of FREE SPEECH as you are, and
anyone who wants to denounce us or
insult us is welcome to.. but somehow, I
get the feeling that people aren't gonna
be all that INTERESTED in making
speeches after X-day. You won't be
worrying so much about whether to sell
Larry Flynt's magazines as whether to
eat his flesh now, or wait until
lunchtime.

No religion ever made it to the top just
by talking.

--
I DISCRIMINATE AGAINST NORMALS twgs @thepoint.net KILL UGLY INTERNET
"Sister system, give me my leg back, will you? I've only been given
light-red fennels; hope you'll sob into a sunflower" - Lars Hollmer

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From: Jonathan Schattke <wizwom@ripco.com>

Subgenii have slack, and steal it from Pinks. If you have slack, you
may speak as much as you wish about whatever, or nothing at all. If
you're a pink, you get no slack, thus, we vilify you in whatever manner
we think will be most fun.

> I'm not talking about mockery, satire or
> parody. I'm talking about outright interference as proscribed by the Bill
> of Rights and Federal Law.

Unsolicited advertisement, paid for by the recipient, are not protected
speech, Pink boy!

> It's a reasonable question, isn't it? I mean, you don't REALLY want blind
> unquestioning obedience, do you?... or did I miss something on the way in?

Blind, unquestioning obedience brings in the bucks.

> Fishin' for Frank in a Cloudy Tank

That should be Trolling for Bait in the Subgennii sea, Pinkboy!

--
\ /\ / If you aren't happy,
VVizVVom - Wandering Kernel of Happiness it's not my fault.
~~~> homepage at http://www.ripco.com/~wizwom <~~~

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From: UnitIV@sputum.com (Doktor DynaSoar)

Patriopsychotic Anarchomaterialsim precludes church-wide dogma of this
sort.

"Do not walk upon all fours. That is the whole of the law." -- JHVH-1

Speaking of, I see there's been found fossil bones in Tuscany of a
proto-hominid that walked upright 8 million years ago.

--
(@ @)\DynaSoar\___, Doktor DynaSoar Iridium, Scienfictiontologist
ll ll Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot, Somedamnwhere, VA
Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, ElectroChurch of the SubGenius

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