X-Day averted by the Discordian Society

From: ghsst6@pop.pitt.edu (Geoff Spear)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack
Subject: X-Day averted by the Discordian Society
Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 17:44:04 -0400

from the Greater Metropolitan Yorba Linda
Herald-News-Sun-Tribune-Journal-Dispatch-Post and San Francisco Discordian
Society Cabal Bulletin and Intergalactic Report & Pope Poop.

Sweetmorn, 40 Confusion 3164

In an unusual display of Discordian harmony, members of the Ancient
Illuminated Seers of Bavaria joined forces with the JAMs, ELF, LDD, and the
enigmatic MIB cabal to destroy a fleet of flying saucers, reportedly from
the planet X, which was converging on Earth. It is alleged that the JAMs
made use of their nuclear arsenal, although a spokesman for the group
claims that the JAMs have no knowledge of any nuclear weapons being in the
possession of any Discordian groups fnord.

Hagbard Celine, spokesman for the LDD, denies rumors that the UFOs which
were destroyed this morning were the ones prophesized by the Church of the
SubGenius. "It's just one of those coincidences, you know?" he said.

The Pentagon refused to comment on the reports of UFO activity, and
categorically denied any relationship with the Discordians. A spokesman
said only, "Lots of building have fives sides. It doesn't mean anything."

In a related story, it was reported this morning that J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
is missing, and that the immense fortune of his SubGenius church has
disappeared. Church officials were not available for comment.
geoff spear | please respond via snail mail;
http://www.pitt.edu/~ghsst6/ | i don't use computers.


From: lachance@bayreuth-online.de (Marc Lachance)

Small clarification here: we prefer to call ourselves the Ancient
Enlightened Seers of Bavaria (Reformed). We were surprised that our
information that we passed along was so accurate. We didn't expect the
destuction to be THAT thorough. To be honest, we had feared that a lone
survivor might have made it into range of this planet's radar net, causing
less confusion.

Then "Nuclear Waste" wrote:
>Don't forget the Argwuffles!

We in Bavaria didn't forget them. We still have some fnorded inside Castle
Neuschwanstein and in the Nymphenburg. We owe a great debt to our former
brethren who built the vualts in Mad King Ludwig's palaces...

Marc Lachance
"Fnord the fenching argwuffles!"

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