X-Day Theory 1000; SubSITE at 7 am

Date: Mon, 6 Jul 1998 14:47:22 -0400
From: amartin@deccxx.zko.dec.com (Alan H. Martin) To: ANDY@pythagoras.org, PATHARDY@pythagoras.org, SUNRA@xtdl.com,
BRAD.DANIELS@missioncritical.com, CSMITH@stoneboro.uucp.cirr.com, DRBANKS@connix.com, I.STANG@subgenius.com, RMP@ultranet.com, RVASAK@swbell.net, KLING@zko.dec.com,
GWEEP-CLENCH@sidehack.sat.gweep.net
Subject: Re: ok.

>>I was in a wooded valley in remote N. California, I guess the Xists came by my house and found no one home, so they gave away my seat.

>>Strangely enough, I didn't return to find Los Angeles a flaming mass of pink image mongers and bad stucco architecture. It all seemed pretty intact.

Lessee. When I realized what day it was, I got up around 6:50 AM and strapped in to www.subgenius.com. Then I started playing solitaire. The first game I won was the last game I could have won before 7AM, with only seconds to spare. Conclusion: slack was still working.

At 7:00:01 AM, the:

<Y> years <M> months <D> days <H> hours <M> minutes <S> seconds left until The Rupture... ARE YOU READY??

counter fucked up, and displayed:

-1 years 11 months 31 days 23 hours 59 minutes 59 seconds

(I wonder if it was the only YX bug in worldwide computer systems).

I then went on to other things.

When I came back 15 minutes later, someone had changed the top-level page to the "We told you so" page. You can see that the page under that was written last Sunday on 28-Jun-98 at 16:07:38 in the afternoon. The top-level page was patched in at 7:01:04 in the morning on X-Day.

Also, the rupture countdown timer no longer displays -1 years - the year counter is blank, and the rest of it counts down to some day 11+ months from now.

>>So do any of you guys have any ideas, if you're still out there? Hello? Ping?

>I'm just full of ideas. and here's a good one.

>Boys and girls,
>it's schism time.

>There will be a position statement soon, but the Shrine of the Sacred Bleeding Head of Jane "I didn't MEAN to make 'Barbarella' " Fonda believes that the Xists are _already here_ and are biding their time.

>No one ever said X-Day would be a singular event. Nor that it would be easy. Nor that we'd understand it.

>No one credible, anyway.

Here's the anthithesis that makes your schism possible: it's not that X-Day happened, but we haven't noticed it yet. Rather, X-Day hasn't happened yet, but it *will* happen in the future, with all of the special effects manifesting themselves that we've been waiting for.

Why do I conclude this? The (new) second page on the SubGenius site advertises bumper stickers during the post-X-Day special blowout sale. One of the stickers offered is:

THE WORLD ENDS 7 A.M. JULY 5 8661

Now when the Xists revealed their plans to "Bob", that included their timeline written down, right? Obviously Stang mused to the collected hordes at Brushwood that "Bob" accidentally transcribed it UPSIDE DOWN when he was writing the prescriptures. So, don't lose faith, there's actually only another 6663 (!) years to go until the X-Day *really* happens. /AHM

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