Why I Don't Go To X-Day Drills At Brushwood

From: "Mr. Wotan" <wotan1955@peoplepc.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, May 3, 2005 10:43 PM

1. No airport or taxi service.

2. Fear of Legume dragging me into the outhouse and kicking my lily pink ass.

3. Fear of Stang making fun of me from the stage and then telling Legume to kick my ass when I take a shower.

4. Fear of Philo ignoring me and then telling Legume to give me a nuclear wedgey in front of everybody.

5. Fear of Legume catching me at the end of X-day Drill and forcing me to lick the barrel of one of his guns.

6. Fear of Sister Suzie-the-Floozie mocking me during my dreams.

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From: "Doktor Dark" <drdark@37.com>

You need to FACE your fears to overcome them. Once you've overcome
them, you can ASS your fears by MOONING Legume, Stang & Susie at
clothing-optional Brushwood.

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From: "Rev. Richard Skull" <mshotz@aol.com>

<<1. No airport or taxi service. >>

Plenty of Amish Buggies though.

<<2. Fear of Legume dragging me into the outhouse and kicking my lily
pink ass. >>

Ahh, Legume is just a big teddy Bear! once you get past the rude
mannor, poor posture and bad breath, he's almost like being in Hitler's
Bunker in May, 1945.

<<3. Fear of Stang making fun of me from the stage and then telling
Legume to kick my ass when I take a shower>>

Stang will never mock you as long as you have cash to spend on Church
Crap. Once you go broke, then he mocks you.

<<4. Fear of Philo ignoring me and then telling Legume to give me a
nuclear wedgey in front of everybody. >>

Well, actuall we all ignore you so big deal!

<<5. Fear of Legume catching me at the end of X-day Drill and forcing
me
to lick the barrel of one of his guns. >>

Oh, thats not a gun......

<<6. Fear of Sister Suzie-the-Floozie mocking me during my dreams>>

We should all be so lucky!

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From: "End x Art" <seventhsqueal@yahoo.com>

Rev. Richard Skull wrote:
>
> Ahh, Legume is just a big teddy Bear! once you get past the rude
> mannor, poor posture and bad breath, he's almost like being in
Hitler's
> Bunker in May, 1945.
>

Like Sgt. Schultz? SCHULTZI!!!!!

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From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

1. I don't care to associate with those idiots.

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From: "just john" <teuy13002@sneakemail.com>

... and you come to alt.slack only as part of the job?

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From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

alt.slack and X-Day at Brushwood are EXACTLY THE SAME.

EXACTLY THE SAME.

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From: Rev DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>

ahh... then why DO you come here? Cheap self-abuse as opposed to travel
expenses plus gate fees??

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From: "Rev. Lee Austin" <initium@PRAdomesticide.netBOB>

>
> ahh... then why DO you come here? Cheap self-abuse as opposed to travel
> expenses plus gate fees??

It's cheaper than a professional dominatrix, the betrayed and
disgusted feeling lasts longer, and no one knows the safeword! But then, I
can only speak for myself...

--
Rev. Lee Austin
Church of the Subgenius

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

Rev DJ Epoch wrote:

> ahh... then why DO you come here? Cheap self-abuse as opposed to travel
> expenses plus gate fees??

Fuck you, that's why.

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From: Rev DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>

Wow, took you long enough to come up with THAT bit of a scathing reply!

... and you still didn't answer the question.

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From: HellPope Huey <HellPopeHuey@BOOM.net>

nenslo wrote:

>
> > alt.slack and X-Day at Brushwood are EXACTLY THE SAME.
> > EXACTLY THE SAME.

Except alt.slack has a twelve-holer, not just a four-seater. I think
the pipe empties into alt.tasteless... maybe rec.bass.fishermen.

HellPope Huey
DON'T PANIC!!!
Okay, NOW you can panic.
Well hell,
how long did you expect me to hold it in?

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert Heinlein, "Time Enough for Love"

"Who wants ass-frosting?"
- "The Simpsons"

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From: "just john" <teuy13002@sneakemail.com>

0. Reading all you guys' stuff (for instance, here) is often fun, but
I don't wanna see you naked. Nor would you, me.

0.5 My current accommodations are primitive enough (leaky roof,
intermittent water, bugs, mice, housemates whose concepts of kitchen
hygiene are not in harmony with mine ...) so the last thing I want to
do is go camping.

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From: "Doktor Dark" <drdark@37.com>

I never cease to be amazed at how the term "clothing optional" is
invariably equated as a synonym for "nudity mandatory".

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From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>

Just the chicks. It's "clothing mandatory" for guys.
No shirt, no shoes, no Eternal Salvation.

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From: "just john" <teuy13002@sneakemail.com>

That's not what I said.

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

I'm trying to think of any SubGeniuses that actually walk around naked
at X-Day Drills -- I mean, outside of the showers or pool -- and the
only ones I can think of right off the bat are that one good looking
blond gal who was playing baseball at the 6X-Day one (she's in the
second shot of the current 10 minute version of the video) and Governor
Rocknar. Those two sort of cancel each other out.

Once I saw Modemac strolling along with no pants on. He was talking to
a GIRL, too!

And Pope Phil Monty walked up to the pavillion once with no pants on,
but that turned out to be an accident. He THOUGHT he had pants on and
when I pointed out his nakedness he became very embarrassed and fled.
Just like one of those nightmares about elementary school.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB

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From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> I'm trying to think of any SubGeniuses that actually walk around naked

That is exactly what I am trying NOT to think of.

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From: Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde <rabbs@subgenius.com>

Be glad you've never met Rev Zorro (aka Wolf Boy). He tends to walk
around wearing only an open Hawaiian shirt.

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

??? If Zorro didn't come to Drills and walk around half naked, we'd
take up a collection to pay him to!

People like Zorro and me are proof that this "Mutants" business we're
always on about isn't TOTALLY bogus.

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From: nenslo <nenslo@yahoox.com>

Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde wrote:

>
> Be glad you've never met Rev Zorro (aka Wolf Boy). He tends to walk
> around wearing only an open Hawaiian shirt.

GOD, I HATE hawaiian shirts.

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From: Zapanaz <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

where I live, a male who isn't wearing either a t-shirt or a plaid
flannel shirt, and a baseball cap, seems freakish and out of place.
People will literally come to a complete stop and gape. Next week I
am going to try wearing slik underwear on my head all week to see what
happens.

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From: nikolai kingsley

plate armor. the sort of chrome-polished historically inaccurate stuff
Boorman had the Arthurian knights wearing in "Excalibur". that way, they
can throw stuff at you and it won't matter.

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From: Zapanaz <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

Is my hair OK? What about this tophat? Do you think the silk lamé
tuxedo with pink rhinestones is a bit much?

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From: wcb <wbarwell@mylinuxisp.com>

For panhandling, probably so.

When I shake my killfile, I can hear them buzzing!

Cheerful Charlie

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From: saint bubba <abvhiael@REMOVE.auracom.com>

>
>where I live, a male who isn't wearing either a t-shirt or a plaid
>flannel shirt, and a baseball cap, seems freakish and out of place.
>People will literally come to a complete stop and gape. Next week I
>am going to try wearing slik underwear on my head all week to see what
>happens.

you described my wardrobe. of course, i dont dresss like THAT for any
fashionable (or unfashionable as the case may be) purposes. my old man
was a sheet metal grunt and always had a frayed flannel shirt over a
white t-shirt. and now, well, im a goddamn farmer and i cant very well
wear silk shirts and tails when im mucking out the goose pen.
of course, it also makes great camouflage in honkeytonk shitkicker
bars, sports bars and tractor pulls. and the ubiquitous ballcap is
NECESSARY for me because im going bald in a goddamn hurry.
its almost frightening to think that i could BLEND IN somewheres.
around these parts most of the men wear hipwaders and beer sloganed
tees.or really ugly country-n-western shirts with shiny buttons.

st bubba

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From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>

On Tue, 10 May 2005 10:10:42 -0400, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
<stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
>Once I saw Modemac strolling along with no pants on. He was talking to
>a GIRL, too!

I'll have you know we were discussing Shakespeare and Frank Sinatra.
Really.

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/

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From: Zapanaz <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

"OK, now imagine my penis is Shakespeare, and my ass is Frank Sinatra.
With me so far?"

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From: "Paul E. Jamison" <pjamison2@cox.net>

> "OK, now imagine my penis is Shakespeare, and my ass is Frank Sinatra.
> With me so far?"
>
"Start spreading those cheeks...
"I'm boffing today..."

... And this is as far as I've got.

Paul

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Subject: Re: Why I Don't Go To X-Day Drills At Brushwood
From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>

FEAR OF AMERICA!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Pope Phil <pope_phil_minty@sunbgeniuz-yaho.co.uk>

> Mr. Wotan wrote:
>
>>1. No airport or taxi service.
>>
>>2. Fear of Legume dragging me into the outhouse and kicking my lily
>>pink ass.
>>
>>3. Fear of Stang making fun of me from the stage and then telling
>>Legume to kick my ass when I take a shower.
>>
>>4. Fear of Philo ignoring me and then telling Legume to give me a
>>nuclear wedgey in front of everybody.
>>
>>5. Fear of Legume catching me at the end of X-day Drill and forcing
>
> me
>
>>to lick the barrel of one of his guns.
>>
>>6. Fear of Sister Suzie-the-Floozie mocking me during my dreams.

these a SIX GOOD REASONS for you to go

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

In article <1115512049.509025.46130@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com>, C.
Woolard <rhymeswith@starmail.com> wrote:
>
> Mine:
> (Five way tie.)
>
> 1) Flight to East Coast.
>
> 1) No actual climate-controlled roofed buildings to sleep in.
>
> 1) $60.
>
> 1) That guy who always whines about how I whine too much.
>
> 1) 0700 wakeup call. Are you fucking *STUPID*?

OUR PLAN *WORKED*!!!

Jesus is a god damned GENIUS. No wonder He's working for Satan now.

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From: "Rev. Richard Skull" <mshotz@aol.com>

C. Woolard <rhymeswith@starmail.com> wrote:

<<1) 0700 wakeup call. Are you fucking *STUPID*? >>

Stang's Rule #1 this year, no activities (except the actual rupture)
before 1 PM.

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From: "C. Woolard" <rhymeswith@starmail.com>

Um.

I was talking about the REAL X-Day. Not the overhyped 4th of July BBQ
that guy in Cleveland has evey year at some down-at-the-heels upstate
NY nudist camp.

--
C.

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

You have to fly to the East Coast and pay ANOTHER $60 for the REAL
X-Day?

Oh FUCK.

NO WONDER.

>Not the overhyped 4th of July BBQ
> that guy in Cleveland has evey year at some down-at-the-heels upstate
> NY nudist camp.
>

Nudist camp
http://tinyurl.com/8cwtn

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