yay for half-ass x-day reports part 1

From: "Dr.J" <Godlikezangief@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Jul 8, 2005 12:36 AM

So this year being my first x-day I had no earthly idea what events
would unfold before me. After the conspiricy held me in the airport for
two days I managed to hitch hike my way from Pittsburg to Erie. The cab
drivers there eagerly took my money to get me to Brushwood around 6am
Sat morning.
After pitching the tent and walking around for a bit I meet up with my
friend The Hostage whom shared similar airline troubles from the cons.
I was introduced to Rev. Jimbo a charasmatic titan of a man whom
attempted to show me the whos who of the Subgenius member roster.
Soon after Lenard the Committed anounced the coming of the Registration
goddess Rev Mary Magdalen whom I drool over still even today!!
After giving magdalen my money and my still beating heart I headed to
the pool area where I was to get ready for the Naked Bobtism.
Hypothermia was a great concern of mine spending 30-40 mins in 50
degree F water waiting for .....something. When Stang arrived and got
out of the water as quickly as he got in I decided to fuck the event
and go get warm.

Well im tired so Ill pick this up again later.

~Dr.J professional Yeti pediatrition~

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: yay for half-ass x-day reports part 1
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

Yes, normally Jesus and Dr. Legume do the Bobtising, and the pool isn't
so icey. This time Jesus had to serve The Devil instead of "Bob," and
Dr. Legume must have changed his mind about lining all the SubGenii up
in a row facing into the pool, and then butt-kicking them in following
their repudiations of The Conspiracy. That is understandable in light
of The Con's recent attempt to rebuild his internal organs, evidenced
by the verticle scar running from his groin all the way up the center
of his face, then up over his head and straight down the middle of his
back. He was charging a buck for people to lick it, but anyone who took
him up on it probably did so only in the hidden private recesses of the
Tiki Banzai fortress. I did see him counting dollar bills later in the
cafe.

The Naked Bobtism lost about 3/4th of its usual participants after Web
Photo Galleries became easy to use even by Rewardian SubGenii. But at
least we got rid of the ring of 100 stupid clothed chickenshits with
video cameras that used to ring the building when we did that ceremony.
That was just plain shameful.

The Bobtism definitely needs a shot of new life, but I wasn't the one
to provide that shot that day. I was a little preoccupied with the
technical aspects of stuff scheduled later that afternoon, and also, I
become kind of stunned and tongue-tied, to put it politely, around one
of the gals who was in the pool at the time. Oh Lordy, be still my
heart. I don't want to say who it is or her husband might start keeping
her out of my sight. Another reason I kept my swimming trunks on was
because I had recently re-edited the footage of me nekkid in the pond
in 1998 after my lynching, and I decided I prefer to be remembered that
way... covered in honey and pink feathers.

At least Rev. Hostage got a Bobbie Award out of the whole thing! Surely
that's worth the $60 in cab fare...

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB

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Original file name: yay for half-ass x-day re#99D73 - converted on Monday, 18 July 2005, 17:18