IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT from The Lord!

From: "The Lord"

Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: "The Lord" <Jesus@subgenius.com>
Date: Sat, Jul 13, 2002 5:55 PM

IMPORTANT!!!

Become a Disciple of the Lord!

I realized this year that X-Day is difficult for a Deity without any
followers. I need help!
So, I am for the first time officially putting together The Disciples.

Anyone who has been a part of my first group "those who walk with the Lord"
knows that we are more a pirating gang of outlaws, raiding campgrounds and
generally harassing, and entertaining the X-day participants. However, don'
t be fooled, being a Disciple can also be difficult as the Lord may call
upon you at any time to run a sacred errand.

It's like the fight club of X-day without the fighting part.

Think you have what it takes?! Well you first must prove yourself and then
be found worthy.

How it will work:
Once in the gang, you will receive your gang colors, communication device,
and insignia. During X-Day, if it is within your Slack you simply don your
colors, turn on your communicator and walk with the Lord, do what he
commands, and join the greatest raiding party on the earth. If you grow
tired of being a Disciple, simple disrobe and you are once again a worthless
commoner.

It is not easy or cheap:
The Lord has sacrificed his life and money for you and expects the same in
return. Being a Disciple of the Lord has many benefits, but it does NOT get
you in the event for free! Anyone who truly understands the Lord is willing
to lay down not only their lives and souls but most importantly their cash
as He has time and time again.

The Lord wants YOU!
1. You must be able to follow simple instructions.
2. You must send your con name, church name, one picture and a list of your
useful skills to jesus@subgenius.com The subject line must read: Disciple
Application.
3. You must patiently wait and never bother the Lord for an update.
4. If accepted you must send $225 to the PO Box
5. You will receive (yours to keep forever): Your Colors - a
professionally made disciple robe. Your Communicator - 2 way radio. Your
insignia - the Silver Ikon necklace. Your Official Disciple of the Lord
Certificate. The Holy Rule Of the Disciples.
6. That is it, there is no money back if you don't make it to X-Day. There
is no whining or complaining if you're not accepted ("Bob" may have other
plans for you).

Luck And Slack

The Lord

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Original file name: IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT from Th... - converted on Tuesday, 16 July 2002, 14:21