Date: Thu, 05 Jul 2001
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Rev. Crawford) N
Astounding extraterrestrial landing in S. Arizona!
At approximately 0715 hours this morning, an attempted alien invasion was thwarted by elements of the U.S. Army in southern Pinal Country, Arizona.
Full details are sketchy at this point, but on-site eyewitlesses were able to observe the "mopping up" stages of the operation by the 315th Military "Intelligence" Unit based at Ft. Huachuca.
However, instead of an appearance of the much anticipated X-ists, this morning's landed appeared to have been carried out by the dreaded (and abysmally stupid) Y-ists!
Long considered to be the "trailer trash" of extraterrestrial civilizations, the Y-ist landing was quickly contained by special strike units of the MI group based near Sierra Vista. "These aliens was dumber than a bag of hair," commented Col. Abner "Red" Neckar, spokesentity of the 315th.
The landing occurred just north of Picacho, Arizona. Landing in incredibly crude spaceships that bore a striking resemblence to the spaceship in the 1902 motion picture "Voyage To The Moon," nearly half of the Y-ist invasion force was killed on impact. The remainder were rapidly rounded up by the Foreign Tachnology strikeforce of the 315th MI group. Unlike the aliens in "Mars Attacks," the Y-ists were actually *attracted* to the music of Slim Whitman. It took only a small sound truck blaring a looped tape of "Indian Love Call" to round up the six-hundred-odd survivors of the landing.
Myself and Rev. Sarge-at-Large managed to infiltrate the security cordon later in the morning, wearing military intelligence officer disguises (OD fatigues, red rubber noses, comically oversized shoes, etc.) Once inside, we were able to visit a grounded Y-ist landing craft, and the special Y-ist concentration camp, where several hundred Y-ists were incarcerated, awaiting shipment to a special "processing facility" located at an undisclosed location in Cochise County. We smuggled in a camer disguised as a box of popcorn, and were able to take a number of pictures of the crashed landing vessel and the forlorn Y-ists behind the barbed wire of the camp.
More details to follow, end transmission
Original file name: THE Y-ISTS HAVE LANDED - converted on Tuesday, 10 July 2001, 16:15
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