Dear Friends what can I say? X-Day XI truly was a shattering
experience. Best one yet, as far as I know being that this was only my
second, however with 25 years of "Bobo/oo under my belt (and let me tell
you that is NOT a pleasant experience) I would have to say that the
first thing I noticed was the general mood that prevailed was
extremely positive. Yeah, sure, it is a holiday but it seems to me
that with our shitty economy, on-going wars and general all around
sucky-ass state of affairs in this Great Nation, that when the shit
hits the fan SubGenii make beautiful shit sculptures....and then do
fun things with them. Modemac told Wilhelm and I when we arrived that
he thought that this years would be awesome, he was so right. Here are
a few reasons:
A) 9 glow sticks up someone's ass that isn't mine, at night, so the
phosphorescent glow could be seen for miles. Now THAT is wonderful.
Gave that man a double shot of CHEAP Russian vodka for his
"sacrificeo/oo. I hope that wasn't him chunking insanely a few hours
later...or maybe I do, maybe if it was him, I saved him the joy of
being painfully hungover in the morning.
B) A perfect Icon Burning where the logs were spewing out a
translucent milky fluid. Could have been all the plastic from the
alien parachutes but equally as possible, it could have been "Bobo/oos
pre-jizz just a-seepin' out.
C) A HOT chick dancing NAKED around said fire, which I might add we
need much much more of. (Perhaps that is why the logs were spewing
D) An interesting "Bobtismo/oo. Sorry Skoozie but I am still in love with
my current sins however you trying to undress me was a very memorable
E) Not one, not two but THREE UFOs. And one looked exactly like the,
ahem, penis of famous 70's Afro-Canadian Porn star Long Dong Silver.
F) Great Hangover eats at the Pot Luck. Gave me the energy to drive
back to Pinksville.
G) Got to see an ACTUAL head launching. Them heads do blow up real
good when they hit altitude.
H) Rev. Bucky playing with faulty Mexican "fireworkso/oo (and if I
remember correctly, they had a "warningo/oo on them that they were for
indoor/outdoor use ONLY), nearly burning his nards off in the process.
Oh yes they also stated that they were perfect for "wedding night
climax celebrationo/oo. I'm moving to Mexico.
I) Eggplant being very cordial. (It was good to see you again this
J) The AMAZING hard-on I got watching vast amounts money slip from
people's wallets and into the "churcho/oo at the Bulldada action.
K) I cannot confirm this nor can I deny it, but Agent Lloyd may have
executed some Pagan drummers at 5 a.m. Sunday morning. I heard 3
drums. Pow. 2 drums. Pow. ! drum. Pow. NO FUCKING DRUMS. Whom ever did
that, you have my ever lasting gratitude.
L) That band Buffalo Diarrhea or what ever they were called, making my
Sunday morning hangover that much more unendurable.
M) Of course, GREAT Hours of Slack by Stang, Hal, Wei, Lonesome,
Pieces etc. Perfect time to sit back and let the generic effervescent
pain relief to do its Godly work.
N) The FINE FINE wine that Legume doled out. Yummy, made me normal for
O) DJ Shavers INCREDIBLE show. Lust Control is NOW my favorite band.
P) The Amino Acids of course. Thermic Make Me Strong!
Q) Naked Pagan Chix in Hot Tub.
R) Pagan Baiting, Converting and Rebating.
S) Good rum, cheap vodka.
T) Angry Larry rubbing something (God I hope it wasn't what it smelled
like) on mine and others faces at Tiki so that we could look deaderer
than we already looked.
U) How amazingly smooth things went from my inebriated vantage point.
V) The weather being New York hot instead of Vietnam hot.
W) The fact that this year I only had to police up 50 cigarette butts
instead of the 500 last year...and 450 of those were years old. Man,
those Pagans are litterbugs.
X) My shoes stayed fairly dry.
Y) Modemac will hate this but sincerely Modemac's skillful use of the
Megaphone. Such a soothing voice. Sort of like the Canobites from the
Twilight Zone ordering us to board the Flying Saucers so we can be the
cattle on which they feed.
Z) Oh man, I was living in the moment and when you do that you forget
the past pretty damn conveniently so I KNOW I am missing a lot here.
Thanks to everyone who helped make this X-Day really
was great to see everyone from last year again. I know I am missing
people to thank and remind that it was great to see them but man, I
have to get onto some "seriouso/oo writing here so I can have $$$ to go
next year. Until then...
The Very rev. Teeters LeVerge
Subject: Re: X-Day XI Report
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <email@example.com>
I know that Naked Drunk Chick fairly well. Late on Saturday
married her to Rev. Steve Scynic. It was her idea. Steve was just
Her "pagan" name is All-I-Sin. She isn't really
a pagan, per se, if
pagan implies religious stuff. She just likes the way pagans party. I
have an AMAZING 15 minute edited video that I shot last Starwood at
dawn on Sunday morning, featuring her passing among the insane crowd
of all-nighters around the bonfire, FORCING down their throats an
intoxicating admixture which I created called "SUBGENIUS ANGUISH SERUM
(antidote to Discordian Joy Juice)." (After St. Dennis Murphy's Bull-
Church tradition) It's the part of my edited Starwood documentary
which can never ever be shown in public because too many innocents are
identifiable in it. Too bad, because it's by far the most accurate
depiction of what Starwood's REALLY all about that I know of, and the
best part of my Starwood documentary so far.
If I get really ambitious, some of my censored Starwood
some uncensored 11X-Day footage) will be on Google Video ere Starwood
She came up to me after our Ikon Burning, and said to
people are LAME! They're just SITTING there!" I said, "Yes, I know,
and that is EXACTLY why I get them to drag their asses out there, so
they can someday hopefully learn the secret of fire, and then
eventually some of the other closely held technical secrets of the
pagans, such as dancing."
And we did in fact learn much this year. The Official
Woodbuster FireMasters (Jason, Leslie, Bob, Ed Strange etc.) were
eating dinner when we decided to fry the Ikon, so it was up to Rev.
Anomie and myself to kick-start the ceremony by building up the fire.
Anomie has been undercover among the pagans far longer than I have,
and as I observed her I discovered two of the important secret
ingredients to fire: OXYGEN, which we knew about already from non-
vaping 'frop ignition in Pipes, and also: FUEL RODS. These can be made
of almost anything, but wood (made from trees!) works best. I am
pretty sure there is one more secret to this "fire-making" and perhaps
by next year we will be able to create "fires" without the aid of any
pagans at all.
Subject: Re: X-Day XI Report
From: JimboDeLimbo <firstname.lastname@example.org>
On Wed, 09 Jul 2008 12:10:44 -0700, TeetersLeVerge wrote:
> On Jul 9, 2:45Â pm, Popess Pantiara Evokovitch
>> DOUBLE POST! Pinch, poke, you owe me a toke. On topic K: The POWs you
>> heard were probably Jimbo and someone else shooting blanks at
>> Chickenhead and someone else who had foolishly climbed up on the Tiki
>> Banzai tree tower and had the ladder taken away. I wish I was there to
>> see that. On topic C: Was that girl the "Whateva MAAN" girl?-
> I think that was The "Whateva MAAN" girl. All I know is Naked Drunk Chix
> at X-Day ROCK. Hell, drunk chix at X-Day rock....ANY Chix at X- Day
> Rock! ....HINT HINT, sunscreen next year and we all win. Thanks for
> clearing up the Pagan drummer executions. And if Jimbo is out there
> reading this...THANKS Jimbo, I needed a bit of sleep. Whatever you did
> to shut the drummers up made my morning. Wish I could have been there
Believe me, it was my pleasure. I will refrain from
specific details so as to protect the identities of those not already
named, but suffice it to say that Chick-N-Hed had it coming, treed
himself, and a certain newly discovered father had his stage pistol
handy, just itching for a separate set of prints...
Any pagan spooking was ancillary, and completely on the house.
Subject: Re: X-Day XI Report
On topic K: The POWs you heard were probably Jimbo and
> shooting blanks at Chickenhead and someone else who had foolishly
> climbed up on the Tiki Banzai tree tower and had the ladder taken
> away. I wish I was there to see that.
Yeah, that's what it was. That fool and his buddy treed
then whined like a couple of snotrags about it. COME ON, PEOPLE.
Seriously. The best part was, the friend got himself down, but didn't
bother to put the ladder back for Chickenhed. And that's when the
It was funnier when Mojo treed himself not minutes prior
incident. He went up there to take a space-age-whizz-kid (for real--
who pees off the top of a shed when there are people there to take the
ladder away? Again, COME ON) and Ed Strange took down the ladder.
Oh, and re: point N, Teeters, that wine was a choice
Pressure's White Weasel and Chas's blood. Way to go, you got teh AIDS
at TikiBanzai! Too bad you don't have the shirt to prove it. Ask Stang
to borrow his.
The Rev. Anna Dynamite