Why not x-day on west coast????

From: bricksnmortar@aol.com (BRICKSNMORTAR)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 30, 2001 9:25 AM
Message-ID: <20010430092525.09970.00000527@ng-cc1.aol.com>

I was wondering why can't the Church splinter like a badly designed UFO for
just a couple of days and have an X-day on the west coast so all the subs who
can't afford to go all the way to New Yorky can celibrate also on the west
side???

Surely "BoB" can RUPTURE us over here afterwords???

REV. Mad Neuman reporting proto Blinkey and pac man dotts
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: "Boddhisatva Troutwaxer" <tungtung@pacbell.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 30, 2001 5:12 AM
Message-ID: <q0fH6.51736$qv3.20590652@nnrp5-w.sbc.net>

I thought it would be nice to switch coasts every year, but the couple of
campgrounds in Los Angeles which I thought might be appropriate for such
an event all turned out to have problems...

If you can find a campground on the west coast where people can get naked,
weird, and loud I'll happily help push for a west coast XXXXX-Day!!

By the way, are you in the Lost Angeles area? If so, write me!!

T.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 30, 2001 2:57 PM
Message-ID: <LAiH6.144878$J%5.48572700@news2.rdc2.tx.home.com>

>
> Surely "BoB" can RUPTURE us over here afterwords???
>
> REV. Mad Neuman reporting proto Blinkey and pac man dotts

Oh sure, and why don't the MUSLIMS just build a MECCA 2 somewhere more
CONVENIENT!!! Sheesh, these kids today! How much would you truly value
your XDay experience if it was just down the street at the local Pink
campground with floodlights every twenty feet and no nekkidity, no obscene
bands, no rockets, and no damn HOT TUB!!! Brushwood is difficult to get to,
even for people living in Erie or New York. It's a hundred miles from
ANYTHING. And that is why we can do so much there! All the people in a
fifty mile radius are Amish, and all they ask is that we don't frighten the
horses.

But, if it is impossible for you to make the pilgrimage to Brushwood, having
your own XDay celebration is the next best thing. Of course, the Xists will
be able to trace your pstench to wherever you are, so you need not fear
missing the rupture. The important thing is to be in a state of complete
SLACK at the moment of rupture, July 5, 7AM (local time), because whatever
state you are in at that time is how you will be preserved on the Space
Vessels.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, May 1, 2001 11:55 PM
Message-ID: <010520012055292038%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

Admittedly, this is slated for AFTER X-Day, and thus hopefully won't
happen at all, but JUST IN CASE:

http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com/longmarch.html

The Prophet Lilith

--
=====Her Ladyship Rev Dkr St Popess Lilith von Fraumench, Esquire=====
===Prophet===Corrective Phrenologist===Supreme Commandrix===Devivor===
==SSUCC 4739 University Way NE #1302 Seattle WA 98105 (877)=381-9354==
====Web: ssucc.ragnarokr.com = foolspress.com = mp3.com/foolspress====
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: none@yerbiz.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, May 2, 2001 10:10 AM
Message-ID: <Xns909567B2478F0CortezLegume18465086@24.12.106.199>

BRICKSNMORTAR wrote:

> I was wondering why can't the Church splinter like a badly designed UFO
> for just a couple of days and have an X-day on the west coast so all
> the subs who can't afford to go all the way to New Yorky can celibrate
> also on the west side???

That's a GRAND idea. Why don't YOU do it?
--
----------------------------------
Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Looking for the New World
and the Palace in the Sun
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: none@yerbiz.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, May 2, 2001 10:31 AM
Message-ID: <Xns90956B236E78ACortezLegume18465086@24.12.106.199>

Rev. Magdalen wrote:

>Oh sure, and why don't the MUSLIMS just build a MECCA 2 somewhere more
>CONVENIENT!!!

Yeah, and why not just build a MECCAMOBILE that can come park in yer
fucking DRIVEWAY so you can just make that pilgrimage without leaving home?

And why not give flaggellants SOFTER WHIPS, so that they don't hurt
themselves?

And why don't those mad Phillipino Catholics just give themselves a TIMEOUT
instead of crucifying themselves?

BECAUSE THIS IS FUCKING RELIGION, AND IT'S DOES NOT HAVE A "LESS THAN 30
MINUTES OR IT'S FREE" POLICY.

PRAISE GODDAMN DOBBS.

--
----------------------------------
Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Looking for the New World
and the Palace in the Sun
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: onan@slartibartfast.exocet-industries.cx (Onan Canobite)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: onan@subgenius.com
Date: Wed, May 2, 2001 2:20 PM
Message-ID: <slrn9f0jvl.gk9.onan@slartibartfast.exocet-industries.cx>

>In article <20010430092525.09970.00000527@ng-cc1.aol.com>,
>BRICKSNMORTAR <bricksnmortar@aol.com> wrote:
>
>> I was wondering why can't the Church splinter like a badly designed UFO for
>> just a couple of days and have an X-day on the west coast so all the subs who
>> can't afford to go all the way to New Yorky can celibrate also on the west
>> side???

I, Reverend Doktor Onan Canobite, hereby give you the permission you
require to "have an X-Day" of your own design. You now owe me $5,000.00
for industrial-religious consultation, but I will wave your fee IF you
in fact HAVE AN X-DAY OF YOUR OWN DESIGN.

Far, far too many SubGenii are still waiting to be spoon fed by "Bob."
They paid to know what they really thought, then failed to think. Or
they 'forget' that while it is frightfully important to send the lion's
share of proceeds from such events to the SubGenius Foundation [1], it
is not always so necessary to have the "big names" of the Church
present. Those "big names" got that way by doing their own thing, just
like YOU can do if you only try. BELIEVE ME.

-O.

[1] The SubGenius Foundation, P. O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214 USA

PS: Have you, the author of the above post, attended any of the many,
many Devivals that have occured on the Left Coast over the past, say
twenty years?

--
Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> http://www.subgenius.com/
Call the Lemurian Toll Free Message Line 1-800-699-2466 xt 555-503-0127
Send $30 unto The SubGenius Foundation Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 USA
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: The Anti-Reagan <walker555@MailAndNews.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, May 2, 2001 8:24 PM
Message-ID: <3B2F52FB@MailAndNews.com>

Here we go again...

"No, you can't have the *real* XDay, but if you're a good little ni--uh,
Yeti,
and work real hard, maybe you can have a *fake* XDay, JUST AS GOOD AS THE
REAL
THING!
"Honest."

P'nekh.

--C.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: "Boddhisatva Troutwaxer" <tungtung@pacbell.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, May 2, 2001 7:02 PM
Message-ID: <am5I6.53145$qv3.21467679@nnrp5-w.sbc.net>

> --C.

Just a few responses to the above.

MECCA: If the SubGenius has a Mecca it would be Dallas. I suppose that one
could argue that, Stang having moved to Cleveland, that we now have "two
quibblahs," and should consider Cleveland a "Mecca," and one could even
make the case for Amsterdam, but I just don't think Brushwood qualifies,
though it is a truly wonderful place. Even during my brief sojourn at the
Dallas airport, my other five senses stirred, and I knew that Dobbs had
spent time here waiting for a flight. (or whatever.) SubGenius festivals
have been held elsewhere, according to history, and successfully. One
doesn't get the feeling that Dobbs is at Brushwood for anything other than
a vacation.

FAKE: Lets face it, when the saucers finally come, X(n)-Day will either be
in your heart, or you'll be left behind. It doesn't matter where you are
or what you're doing, you'll be taken if you've sent in your $30 and you
BELIEVE.

WEST COAST:

Southern California: The one relatively isolated, nudist friendly
enviroment big enough for a couple hundred people was just sold to
developers.

Northern California: The one other place that I've heard of which might
offer equal accomodations can be found here. If there's someone in the
area who wants to check it out, I'd love to hear what you've discovered.

http://www.mcn.org/1/woodlands/

TACTICS: I don't believe that the Church does itself any good by
abandoning an area the size of California, or by making the prime event a
one coast affair. I'm all for more events out here, and would be happy to
contribute in any way I can. I'd love to help put on a devival in the area
and gain the knowledge and experience I need to put on one of my own.

WALKING THE WALK: Let me put my money where my mouth is: If anyone can
find a California site for an X-Day type festival, you may call upon me
for any help I have to offer, whether it be with organization, politics,
HTML coding, or simple grunt work. I'd love to see it happen. I'd love to
be part of it. But meanwhile, I'm buying two tickets for Brushwood.

T.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: none@yerbiz.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 3, 2001 1:44 AM
Message-ID: <Xns909611DB4CB6FCortezLegume18465086@24.12.106.199>

Boddhisatva Troutwaxer wrote:
>MECCA: If the SubGenius has a Mecca it would be Dallas. I suppose that
>one
> could argue that, Stang having moved to Cleveland, that we now have
> "two
>quibblahs," and should consider Cleveland a "Mecca,"

Why would we consider Cleveland a Mecca? Stang is not Dobbs, he is only a
common messenger of his word, like myself or you or any of the brethren who
spout Dobbs' word. Stang is a SCRIBE, a man who takes the words of the
kindred and keeps the record.

To put Stang any higher than that is the Folly of the B'Dean, and Stang
will be the FIRST to tell you so.

In other words, subgeenieboy, if ya wanna get into SubGenius Heaven, you
better make DAMN SURE you're suckin' the right DICK.
--
----------------------------------
Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Looking for the New World
and the Palace in the Sun
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: The Anti-Reagan <walker555@MailAndNews.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 3, 2001 11:34 AM
Message-ID: <3AF8EAF0@MailAndNews.com>

"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com> say, "Bye Bye Baseball." My oh my!:

>Oh sure, and why don't the MUSLIMS just build a MECCA 2 somewhere more
>CONVENIENT!!!

Good point, actually.

A half a billion people bow down to a damn rock in Saudi Arabia, five times
a
day, every day. Put that in your Pipe and smoke it.

EXTRA CREDIT PROJECT: Steal the rock.

George Karl say, "Not in our house."

--Confused.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: "Boddhisatva Troutwaxer" <tungtung@pacbell.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 3, 2001 6:45 AM
Message-ID: <yFfI6.33$sl6.19779@news.pacbell.net>

>
> In other words, subgeenieboy, if ya wanna get into SubGenius Heaven, you
> better make DAMN SURE you're suckin' the right DICK.

Well, it sure ain't gonna be yours!!

Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. (I had other things I wanted to talk
about.) The assumption I'm making is that Dobbs closely controls the life
path of his Sacred Scribe, not to mention the other 12 apostles, and those
members of the Church Hierarchy whom he regards as important.

Thus, if Stang is in Cleveland it's not because Princess Wei took him
there to heal his battered nental ife after his wife dumped him, (after
all, she could just as well have flown to Dallas) its because Dobbs wanted
him to be in Cleveland. Its not about what about what I want, what you
want, or what Stang wants.

Its about what Dobbs wants, and whether that means that there's some
cosmic significance to Cleveland, or whether it merely means that Connie
wants to be in walking distance to the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame, Dobbs
has chosen it, that settles it, and when I hear the SubGenius call to
Prayer I'll damn well bow toward the place that's round on
the end and high in the middle.

EYIYIYIYYI!!!

Praise "Bob" and put the Connie back in the Con!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: none@yerbiz.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 3, 2001 2:55 PM
Message-ID: <Xns90969803F699CCortezLegume18465086@24.12.106.199>

Boddhisatva Troutwaxer wrote:
>Well, it sure ain't gonna be yours!!

Never crossed my mind that it would.

>The assumption I'm making is that Dobbs closely controls the
> life
>path of his Sacred Scribe, not to mention the other 12 apostles, and
>those
> members of the Church Hierarchy whom he regards as important.

That assumption is only PARTIALLY correct. In fact, Dobbs controls the life
path of us ALL EQUALLY.

Unless of course you never paid your thirty bucks...

>Thus, if Stang is in Cleveland it's not because Princess Wei took him
>
> there to heal his battered nental ife after his wife dumped him,

> (after
>all, she could just as well have flown to Dallas)

No, that wouldn't have happened, for reasons I am privy to but shant
divulge.

>its because Dobbs
>wanted him to be in Cleveland.

Or maybe Dobbs was PUNISHING him by CASTING HIM OUT OF THE HOLY MECCA OF
DALLAS.

Its not about what about what I want,
>what you want, or what Stang wants.
>
>Its about what Dobbs wants, and whether that means that there's some
>cosmic significance to Cleveland, or whether it merely means that Connie
>wants to be in walking distance to the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame,

Uh, CONNIE doesn't live in Cleveland. Only the FAKE CONNIE ever lived
there, and even SHE left.

>Dobbs
>has chosen it, that settles it, and when I hear the SubGenius call to
>Prayer I'll damn well bow toward the place that's round on
>the end and high in the middle.

Good boy. Drink this and go lie down.
--
----------------------------------
Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Looking for the New World
and the Palace in the Sun
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: "Boddhisatva Troutwaxer" <tungtung@pacbell.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 3, 2001 10:43 AM
Message-ID: <l8jI6.53435$qv3.21645157@nnrp5-w.sbc.net>

In article <Xns90969803F699CCortezLegume18465086@24.12.106.199>,
none@yerbiz.com (Legume) wrote:
> In fact, Dobbs controls the
> life path of us ALL EQUALLY.

I still want to know why he sent the Janor Container to my neck 'o the
woods...

> Unless of course you never paid your thirty bucks...

Sure, he makes your life a whole lot worse then.

>>Thus, if Stang is in Cleveland it's not because Princess Wei took him
>> there to heal his battered nental ife after his wife dumped him,
>> (after all, she could just as well have flown to Dallas)

> No, that wouldn't have happened, for reasons I am privy to but shant
> divulge.

Good to know you're a man of discrettion. I don't know any of the reasons
at all, but if she couldn't come to Dallas, it just shows how badly
Dobbs wanted Stang to be in Cleveland.

>>its because Dobbs wanted him to be in Cleveland.
>
> Or maybe Dobbs was PUNISHING him by CASTING HIM OUT OF THE HOLY MECCA OF
> DALLAS.

From the sound of things, Dobbs would have punished Stang by leaving him
there. Unless he's just raising our Sacred Scribe's level of happiness so
as to set him up for an even bigger fall...

> Uh, CONNIE doesn't live in Cleveland.

Well, if you've got either her address or phone number, please send it
along.

> Only the FAKE CONNIE ever lived
> there, and even SHE left.

I've got to agree with you there. I can't see why anyone would WANT to
live in Cleveland - but Dobbs has decreed that some of us will live in
the land of Howard the Duck.

> Good boy. Drink this and go lie down.

Don't have time, I'm working on a sick XXXX-Day story right now. I'll just
put it in the fridge... Meanwhile, take yer hand offa that thing and get
back to werk!!

T.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: Why not x-day on west coast????
From: none@yerbiz.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 3, 2001 7:16 PM
Message-ID: <Xns9096C4217238CortezLegume18465086@24.12.106.199>

Boddhisatva Troutwaxer wrote:

>From the sound of things, Dobbs would have punished Stang by leaving him
>
> there. Unless he's just raising our Sacred Scribe's level of happiness
> so
>as to set him up for an even bigger fall...

I already laid that scenario on Stang, the one where he's found dead,
wearing 15 SubGenius t-shirts, frozen to the pavement by his own urine, and
his body goes unidentified because his kids, who haven't seen him for years
and years, just assume he's living someplace too bussy with his "hep"
friends to waste time on a phone call.

>> Uh, CONNIE doesn't live in Cleveland.
>
>Well, if you've got either her address or phone number, please send it
> along.

I can't do that...after all, as you said, I AM a man of discretion.
--
----------------------------------
Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Looking for the New World
and the Palace in the Sun

Back to document index

Original file name: Why not x-day on west coast???? - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:34