Ride the wild STANG!

From: Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Apr 29, 2001 3:52 PM
Message-ID: <Hulkturds-2904011352230001@pool-209-128-155-236.hs.ipa.net>

Saint Abbess Abyss, who is a splendid weird book junkie, sent me this
for a laff and I just couldn't resist passing it along. How could our
BobFather Stang not get a snigger out of it? I mean, any man who'll post a
picture of himself with his dick at halfmast is definitely...well, NOT A
BABDIST, EIEIEIEIE!!!! All hail the impending Stang/Wei marriage. It be's
a bee-yoo-tiful thing.

From the book "Forgotten English", by Jeffrey Kacirk, p.140-141:

STANGSTER: A husband with marital problems stemming either from
mistreating his wife or being henpecked by her. The Old English
'staeng' came from the Old Norse 'stong, a pole, (Hey Stang, they're
talkin' about yer POLE, eieieie!) which this man was forced to
sit atop or astride while carried upon the shoulders of a boisterous
cavalcade of jeering neighbors, or represented in effigy and paraded through his
village. The 1814 "Costume of Yorkshire" suggested the reason:

The ancient provincial custom is still occasionally observed in
some parts of Yorkshire, though by no means so frequent as it
was formerly. It is no doubt intended to expose and ridicule any
violent quarrel between man and wife, and more particularly in
instances where the pusillanimous husband has suffered himself
to be beaten by his virago of a partner.

According to Jamieson's "Scottish Dictionary", this originally
Scandinavian ritual was more severe than it may seem: "...a mark of the highest
infamy. A person who has been treated [thusly] seldom recovers his honour in
the opinion of his neighbors."
"Riding the stang" was often accompanied by "rough music"--- the
beating of pots and pans with tongs and other homemade instruments, sometimes
accompanied by bagpipes and the blowing of bulls' horns. The commotion
generated by this gathering and its participants appears to have aptly
reflected the fourteenth-century proverb, "Empty vessels made the most
noise." Ray wrote that this procession was also "used by some colleges
in Cambridge to stang scholars in Christmas-time, being to cause them to
ride on a colt staff or pole for missing chapel."

Jamieson cited a Scottish account that implied that the stang was not a
foolproof form of justice: "When they cannot lay hold of the culprit,
they put some young fellow on the stang, who proclaims that it is not on his
account that he is thus treated." Remnants of stang-inspired rough
music and vigilantism lingered into the twentieth century, (DEVIVALS!) as
is evident in
this vignette from P. D. Ditchfield's 1901 "Old English Customs": "Friday
evening is not considered correct or suitable time for courtship. The
first person spying a couple so engaged enters the house, seizes the
frying-pan and beats on it a tattoo." (Or beats on my BobTatoo, but I
fight BACK like a MOFO!) A New Year's Day tradition in England once
required any person encountered by a stang procession to "ride the stang"
or pay a penalty.

That penalty being that the offender must watch 12 STRAIGHT HOURS OF
ROBERT TILTON, EIEIEIEIE!!!!

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Imagine the Flash in overalls and a straw hat

"You'd be like a superhero
if you didn't drive such a crappy car."
- "Nikki"

"You'll have to walk her,
she won't go in her own yard."
"I'm the same way."
- "King of the Hill"

"I think black people should get reparations
for Michael Bolton albums."
- John Fuglesang
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Subject: Re: Ride the wild STANG!
From: Sister Decadence <decadence@subgenius.com>

Does this mean he'll have to change his name now?

Sister Decadence
http://www.walkingdead.net/~quijibo/sister_d
http://www.walkingdead.net/~sisd/siscam.html
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Subject: Re: Ride the wild STANG!
From: baloneyyoni@aol.com (BaloneyYoni)

Refer to the your edition of the letter "S" and revise your current lexicons to
read as follows (from SLACK to STANG):

Slacker
Slackpunk
Slack-wit
Slapdick
Sleazebag
Slimeball
Slimer
Slob
Slop
Sloth
Slowpoke
Slubberdegullion
Sluggard
Smelly dog
Smutsmuggler
Snackwell-eater
Snagglepuss
Snaggletooth
Snitch
Snot
Snot Rocket
So-and-so
Sosodada
Son-of-a-bitch
Sot
Soul-sapper
Space Cadet
Space Case
Spam-eater
Spazz
"Special"
Sperm-burper
Spoiled Brat
Sproose-Moose
Spudboy
Squamata
Square
Squirt
Stain
Stangster

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Subject: Re: Ride the wild STANG!
From: Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey)

In article <20010430233210.08978.00003171@ng-fo1.aol.com>,
baloneyyoni@aol.com (BaloneyYoni) wrote:

> Refer to the your edition of the letter "S" and revise your current
lexicons to
> read as follows (from SLACK to STANG):
>
> Sperm-burper

I was thinking that maybe we needed to get to the bottom of this, but
after that one, I think we're already there.

BTW, one of the drunks cross the street was found dead in a motel today.
Yay, one down, four to go! No real point here, just sayin'.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Slack you very much!

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Subject: Re: Ride the wild STANG!
From: joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

David Lynch must have finally cracked.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped,
it always lands with the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast
to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover, inches above the ground. With a giant
buttered-cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with
Chicago.
-- John Frazee

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Subject: Re: Ride the wild STANG!
From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> BTW, one of the drunks cross the street was found dead in a motel today.
> Yay, one down, four to go! No real point here, just sayin'.

A particularly notorious local drunk was found face down in the town's
harbor not too long ago. In his memory, the bar that he used to frequent
came up with a new drink and named it after him. The drink consists of
four fingers of vodka with a LifeSaver in it.

--
Artemia Salina -- http://www.drpez.com/drali1.htm
Taking the 'rhetorical' out of 'rhetorical question' since 1958

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Original file name: Ride the wild STANG! - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:33