Okay, I give up... God IS a Republican and I am Hell-bound
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 03:29:36 GMT

--------

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank you for not killing me before I had a chance to accept you as my
Personal Savior.
I believe that Liberals and Democrats are under the control of Satan
and his sneering minions, the educated and the well-traveled.
I do not want to be tossed into the incandescent flames of the sadistic
hell you created for those who did not vote for George W. Bush or waiver
in their faith by questioning the honesty, competence or syntax of
Jesus' anointed.
Please Lord Jesus, I want to become a True Republican and a Real
American. I accept you as my Lord and Savior.
I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day and floated
off to your invisible, exquisitely decorated mansion in the Holy Ghost's
subdivision in the clouds while an audience of early Republican prophets
looked on.
I believe that in voting Republican, I am doing the implacable will of
God.
I long to join my brother in Christ, George W. Bush, and every single
True Christian who voted for Him.
I understand that all of America's problems began when we allowed
ourselves to be seduced by the pinko, pacifistic false version of Jesus
found in the New Testament, letting non-Protestant foreign trash into
Your divine nation and squandering time we could have been at war trying
to make peace with perfectly good enemies, before renewing our hearts
and joyously embracing Republican Christianity's new improved,
steroid-engorged version of Jesus Christ.
I want to help eliminate the deadly disease of liberalism and assist my
President and Your appointed servant on Earth to help rebuild this
country into the Glorious Christian Nation it once was on the rocky
shores of Puritan New England in the late 1600's.
I gladly tithe my mind and no less than 10% of my paycheck, renouncing
the demons of logic and education for they will no longer hold sway in
my heart, as I now have both Mr. Bush and Mr. Jesus as my co-redeemers!
Amen!

- whitehouse.org

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and
more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious
day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last
and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
- H. L. Mencken

"The Jews and Arabs should sit down and settle their differences like
good Christians."
- Warren Robinson Austin, US diplomat

--

HellPope Huey
Give me the strength to change the things I can change,
to accept the things I cannot
and a great big bag of money.

It is no measure of health
to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
- Krishnamurti

"Like a midget at a urinal,
I was gonna have to stay on my toes."
- "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult"


Correspondent:: annoyed-one@comcast.net (Don)
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 04:25:24 GMT

--------
Adlai Stevenson said it all when, at an event during the 1956 Presidential
campaign, a woman shouted, "You have the vote of every thinking person!"
Stevenson shouted back, "That's not enough, madam, we need a majority!"



>
>"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and
>more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious
>day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last
>and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
>- H. L. Mencken



Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004 22:43:29 -0800

--------
On Mon, 22 Nov 2004 04:25:24 GMT, annoyed-one@comcast.net (Don) wrote:

>Adlai Stevenson said it all when, at an event during the 1956 Presidential
>campaign, a woman shouted, "You have the vote of every thinking person!"
>Stevenson shouted back, "That's not enough, madam, we need a majority!"
>
>

lol

That's funny

don't top post dammit


--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Customer: My computer keeps telling me I performed an illegal
abortion.



Correspondent:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004 23:29:54 -0500

--------
So this isn't what you pictured when you first heard the phrase "New World
Order"?

[*]
-----




Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 06:00:48 GMT

--------
In article ,
"iDRMRSR" wrote:

> So this isn't what you pictured when you first heard the phrase "New World
> Order"?

Actually, I envisioned an endless vista of hot fused glass, but hey,
the planetary evening is still young yet.

Stay toobed. If you flick between CNN, the 700 Club, The Daily Show and
most any tentacle-rape anime, you'll have a pretty good overview.

I also envisioned 2 of every 3 alt.fan.rush-limbaugh posters with
pineapples jammed up their heineys, but I shook that one off as being
too damned GAY and just chalked it up to colliding meds.

--

HellPope Huey
In real life, I am a warm and playful companion
hampered only by being a telekinetic alcoholic.
I never have to pay for a drop.

"You haven't hit rock bottom
until you've fought off three other drunks
to suck on a Hungarian booby-pickle."
- "The Drew Carey Show"

"They'll let anyone foster a kid.
They'd let me and I'm 100 years old and a Communist to boot."
- Don Rickles, "The Wool Cap"


Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004 22:37:25 -0800

--------
On Mon, 22 Nov 2004 06:00:48 GMT, HellPope Huey
wrote:

> Stay toobed. If you flick between CNN, the 700 Club, The Daily Show and
>most any tentacle-rape anime, you'll have a pretty good overview.

If you do it fast enough you see Tony Iommi.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Adlai Stevenson said it all when, at an event during the 1956 Presidential
campaign, a woman shouted, "You have the vote of every thinking person!"
Stevenson shouted back, "That's not enough, madam, we need a majority!"



Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004 23:16:04 -0800

--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> > So this isn't what you pictured when you first heard the phrase "New World
> > Order"?
>
> Actually, I envisioned an endless vista of hot fused glass, but hey,
> the planetary evening is still young yet.

My first thought was "What can I spend this dollar on?"


Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 17:25:11 GMT

--------
In article <41A19233.CED181D5@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote:
> >
> > > So this isn't what you pictured when you first heard the phrase "New World
> > > Order"?
> >
> > Actually, I envisioned an endless vista of hot fused glass, but hey,
> > the planetary evening is still young yet.
>
> My first thought was "What can I spend this dollar on?"

You can spend it on a Hello Kitty codpiece and a Chumbawamba CD from
the cut-out bin.

--

HellPope Huey
In real life, I am a warm and playful companion
hampered only by being a telekinetic alcoholic.
I never have to pay for a drop.

"You haven't hit rock bottom
until you've fought off three other drunks
to suck on a Hungarian booby-pickle."
- "The Drew Carey Show"

"They'll let anyone foster a kid.
They'd let me and I'm 100 years old and a Communist to boot."
- Don Rickles, "The Wool Cap"


Correspondent:: soylent_purple@hotmail.com (Roy. Just Roy.)
Date: 22 Nov 2004 08:00:50 -0800

--------
"iDRMRSR" wrote in message news:...
> So this isn't what you pictured when you first heard the phrase "New World
> Order"?

Actually, I first thought of a post-punk alternative synth-pop band in
the 1980's.

Then I thought of the wrestling union of Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner and
Jeff Jarrett.

THEN I thought how lame the NWO has become since Hulk Hogan started
playing the hero again, and Jesus Christ, is that man still going to
be wrestling when he's in adult diapers?

Then I took my ADD pills and went back to work.

ObT: http://www.goyk.com/flash.asp?path=1084
Team America soundboard. All I'm trying to say is, Pearl Harbor sucked
... and I miss you.


Correspondent:: "Jedi"
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 05:09:25 GMT

--------

"HellPope Huey" wrote in message
news:hulkturds-D786E3.21274521112004@news1.west.earthlink.net...
>
> Dear Lord Jesus,
>
> Thank you for not killing me before I had a chance to accept you as my
> Personal Savior.
> I believe that Liberals and Democrats are under the control of Satan
> and his sneering minions, the educated and the well-traveled.
> I do not want to be tossed into the incandescent flames of the sadistic
> hell you created for those who did not vote for George W. Bush or waiver
> in their faith by questioning the honesty, competence or syntax of
> Jesus' anointed.
> Please Lord Jesus, I want to become a True Republican and a Real
> American. I accept you as my Lord and Savior.
> I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day and floated
> off to your invisible, exquisitely decorated mansion in the Holy Ghost's
> subdivision in the clouds while an audience of early Republican prophets
> looked on.
> I believe that in voting Republican, I am doing the implacable will of
> God.
> I long to join my brother in Christ, George W. Bush, and every single
> True Christian who voted for Him.
> I understand that all of America's problems began when we allowed
> ourselves to be seduced by the pinko, pacifistic false version of Jesus
> found in the New Testament, letting non-Protestant foreign trash into
> Your divine nation and squandering time we could have been at war trying
> to make peace with perfectly good enemies, before renewing our hearts
> and joyously embracing Republican Christianity's new improved,
> steroid-engorged version of Jesus Christ.
> I want to help eliminate the deadly disease of liberalism and assist my
> President and Your appointed servant on Earth to help rebuild this
> country into the Glorious Christian Nation it once was on the rocky
> shores of Puritan New England in the late 1600's.
> I gladly tithe my mind and no less than 10% of my paycheck, renouncing
> the demons of logic and education for they will no longer hold sway in
> my heart, as I now have both Mr. Bush and Mr. Jesus as my co-redeemers!
> Amen!
>
> - whitehouse.org


AMEN ! Now pass the tequilla. I'm gonna stay drunk for the next 4
years.....



> "As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and
> more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious
> day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last
> and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
> - H. L. Mencken
>
> "The Jews and Arabs should sit down and settle their differences like
> good Christians."
> - Warren Robinson Austin, US diplomat
>
> --
>
> HellPope Huey
> Give me the strength to change the things I can change,
> to accept the things I cannot
> and a great big bag of money.
>
> It is no measure of health
> to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
> - Krishnamurti
>
> "Like a midget at a urinal,
> I was gonna have to stay on my toes."
> - "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult"




Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004 22:36:04 -0800

--------
On Mon, 22 Nov 2004 03:29:36 GMT, HellPope Huey
wrote:

>
>Dear Lord Jesus,
>
> Thank you for not killing me before I had a chance to accept you as my
>Personal Savior.
> I believe that Liberals and Democrats are under the control of Satan
>and his sneering minions, the educated and the well-traveled.
> I do not want to be tossed into the incandescent flames of the sadistic
>hell you created for those who did not vote for George W. Bush or waiver
>in their faith by questioning the honesty, competence or syntax of
>Jesus' anointed.
> Please Lord Jesus, I want to become a True Republican and a Real
>American. I accept you as my Lord and Savior.
> I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day and floated
>off to your invisible, exquisitely decorated mansion in the Holy Ghost's
>subdivision in the clouds while an audience of early Republican prophets
>looked on.
> I believe that in voting Republican, I am doing the implacable will of
>God.
> I long to join my brother in Christ, George W. Bush, and every single
>True Christian who voted for Him.
> I understand that all of America's problems began when we allowed
>ourselves to be seduced by the pinko, pacifistic false version of Jesus
>found in the New Testament, letting non-Protestant foreign trash into
>Your divine nation and squandering time we could have been at war trying
>to make peace with perfectly good enemies, before renewing our hearts
>and joyously embracing Republican Christianity's new improved,
>steroid-engorged version of Jesus Christ.
> I want to help eliminate the deadly disease of liberalism and assist my
>President and Your appointed servant on Earth to help rebuild this
>country into the Glorious Christian Nation it once was on the rocky
>shores of Puritan New England in the late 1600's.
> I gladly tithe my mind and no less than 10% of my paycheck, renouncing
>the demons of logic and education for they will no longer hold sway in
>my heart, as I now have both Mr. Bush and Mr. Jesus as my co-redeemers!
> Amen!
>
>- whitehouse.org

That would be so good set to music.


--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"Can God fill teeth?"

[Jello Biafra]



Correspondent:: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 01:48:06 -0600

--------
On Sun, 21 Nov 2004 22:36:04 -0800, Zapanaz
wrote:

>On Mon, 22 Nov 2004 03:29:36 GMT, HellPope Huey
> wrote:
>
>>
>>Dear Lord Jesus,
long prayer
>> Amen!
>>
>>- whitehouse.org
>
>That would be so good set to music.

Yeah, huey's synths could make it sound like it's been written for a
broken down funeral parlor organ in it's death throes.

(this is a compliment not a snide remark)

Salacia



Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 17:29:15 GMT

--------
In article ,
HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer wrote:

> Yeah, huey's synths could make it sound like it's been written for a
> broken down funeral parlor organ in it's death throes.

I use the music to lure in Youth for Christ bungholes. Then I kill
them, chop 'em up and use the chunks to fish for bass and croppies. Then
I stuff my catch in the mailboxes of people who still sport Bush/Cheney
signs & bumperstickers. I firmly believe that hobbies should be
multi-layered.

--

HellPope Huey
In real life, I am a warm and playful companion
hampered only by being a telekinetic alcoholic.
I never have to pay for a drop.

"You haven't hit rock bottom
until you've fought off three other drunks
to suck on a Hungarian booby-pickle."
- "The Drew Carey Show"

"They'll let anyone foster a kid.
They'd let me and I'm 100 years old and a Communist to boot."
- Don Rickles, "The Wool Cap"


Correspondent:: drdark@37.com (DoktorDark)
Date: 22 Nov 2004 07:16:27 -0800

--------
HellPope Huey wrote in message news:...
> Dear Lord Jesus, etc., ...............................
>
Now, let's look at this premise critically with some commonly known
Bible babble:
-God doesn't believe in birth control (sin of Onan)
-He believes in sacrificing your sons (Job)
-He promotes invasion of other countries & the destruction of their
inhabitants (the whole Promised Land crap we're still paying for)
-He practices entrapment with no due process or appeals court or
rights of the accused (the whole Adam & Eve thing)
-Oh yeah, He's a petty, jealous, grudgy male chauvanist (the whole
rib/woman thing)

These so far sound like Republican positions on social issues to me.


Correspondent:: Frere Jean Bleu
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 13:42:47 +1100

--------
On 22 Nov 2004 07:16:27 -0800, drdark@37.com (DoktorDark) wrote:

>HellPope Huey wrote in message news:...
>> Dear Lord Jesus, etc., ...............................
>>
>Now, let's look at this premise critically with some commonly known
>Bible babble:
>-God doesn't believe in birth control (sin of Onan)
>-He believes in sacrificing your sons (Job)
>-He promotes invasion of other countries & the destruction of their
>inhabitants (the whole Promised Land crap we're still paying for)
>-He practices entrapment with no due process or appeals court or
>rights of the accused (the whole Adam & Eve thing)
>-Oh yeah, He's a petty, jealous, grudgy male chauvanist (the whole
>rib/woman thing)
>
>These so far sound like Republican positions on social issues to me.

Slavery was also a big selling point.

Fr J B



Correspondent:: furball51@aol.com (FURBALL51)
Date: 23 Nov 2004 17:34:06 GMT

--------
you lost, quit whining.


Correspondent:: Artemia Salina
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 2004 04:41:39 -0500

--------
On Tue, 23 Nov 2004 17:34:06 +0000, FURBALL51 wrote:

> you lost, quit whining.

FINALLY! Someone who makes SENSE around here!

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