Best (& Next Oldest) TV News Report on the Church

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Date: Mon, Apr 21, 2003

Now going onto alt.binaries.slack

"WHAT'S UP AMERICA" Showtime report on SubGenius by Larry Sulkis
MPEG video (VCD ready) 8 min

Showtime had this show called "What's Up, America." One of the
directors on that show was Rev. Larry Sulkis, who assembled this in
1981, taking advantage of the First World SubGenius Convention in
Dallas. DEVO happened to be playing Dallas that very night and I
happened to have just done some animation for them. ("Love Without
Anger" Barbie-Ken fight). Some youths from Third Coast Productions who
were SubGenii provided the gear and camera people -- Kevin Wilson and
Bob Stevens (Bob Stevens who later ran Telemusic and did small time
music videos with me.)

Rev. Sulkis also wrote "A Working Religion" (a true story!) in THREE
FISTED TALES OF "BOB", and he co-wrote the movie "The Ghosts of Mars"
with John Carpenter. He has made a lot of the "making of" shorts
promoing Hollywood movies.

MINUTIA:

The intro is filmed outside the production company's office in LA

Much of what I say on camera was sort of suggested by Rev. Sulkis...
what you might call scripted reality TV.

1:25: Weirdo entering the convention is St. tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE.

The gal with the drink at 1:47 as the camera zooms back from the crowd
is Carol Lay, she-cartoonist.

Rev. Buck Naked swore off "Bob" for some long-durpersav.

The bespectacled hippie at 2:01 is the late Drelloid Mutant of Drs. for
"Bob"

The guy hawking the Stark Fist at 3:30 is Rev. Mike Danger of the
Church of the Red Eyed Loon, Minneapolis

The guy that says "Bob" will protect you! is Rev. D. lee Lama

At 4:41 to 5:15 the giant raising money is Rev. Stevie Hambone, also of
the Minneapolis Clench. He went on to cowrite the first American book
about Hong Kong action movies.

Skinny shrugging guy at 4:50 is Rev. Bob Lee of the Church of the
Immaculate '60 Chevy

Baby Hellpope Huey at 5:06!

6:29 -- "Bob" is about as American as you can get" = Rev. Poonflang
Dammerung (an sf illustrator)

6:30: St. Byron Werner

That's Dealy Plaza at the end. The crew took a bunch of Subs in Dobbs
masks down there.

IT WAS NOVEMBER 22, 1981

"For the money" was a line Sulkis insisted I say. He said that would
keep it "funny".

WE GOT TO KEEP ALL THE FOOTAGE THAT WAS SHOT! And the hell was used
out of it for ARISE and many audio collages.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Baby Hellpope Huey at 5:06!

Yeah, I used to be all young & fresh & dewy & full of promise. Then I
joined this goddamned church. NOW look at me. Stang has a portrait in
his attic you would not BELIEVE. By the time you learn, its too late.
DON'T BUY THE SUBGENIUS PLAYING CARDS. They have bits of the
Necronomicon in them. Take care and there might still be HOPE for YOU,
but not me.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
On the other hand, at least I'm not French

Some people persist in using shotgun shells for suppositories
and then sitting down REAL HARD.
- HellPope Huey

"I've got brain in my butt-crack."
- "Futurama"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Two Beans <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>

This gives me an idea

Jim Henson's Subgenius Babies!

--
2B
http://www.eyeofthewarp.com/twobeans

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Ned Wreck" <NedWreck@usenetserver.com>

"HellPopeHuey" <hellpopehuey@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Yeah, I used to be all young & fresh & dewy & full of promise. Then I
> joined this goddamned church. NOW look at me.

I'd sue the cocksucker, he might be good for just one more blowjob. =)

Ned
--
Eternal Salvation or Triple Your Money Back!!! HTTP://WWW.SubGenius.com

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Artemia Salina" <y2k@sheayright.com>

Seeing old footage such as that really drives home the idea of how
long the Church has been in business, and how long you and Stang
and others here, have been keeping it going. Then I think about
how I have managed to gain some measure of acceptance here, and
suddenly I don't know whether to be honored or struck dead with
shame and mortification.

Once again, the Church has given me a koan to contemplate.

--
Display your insecurity and sense of helplessness to the world.
Drive an SUV.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

Considering that, after the Nazis, The Church of the SubGenius is the
second biggest bunch of losers in history, your choice should be clear.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Artemia Salina" <y2k@sheayright.com>

Yeah, you're right. I'm honored.

--
Embrace your inner bullying coward.
Drive an SUV.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

Short Answer: Dead.

Its mostly been Stang's doin', let's be honest. My biggest claim to
Sub-fame is that I assisted Janor in fucking Nenslo's wife.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
Will you still love me if I pass out at dinner
through no real fault of my own?

"Alright, you primitive screwheads, listen up:
This is my BOOM stick!"
- "Army of Darkness"

...no matter how closely I study it,
no matter how I take it apart,
no matter how I break it down,
It remains consistent.
I wish you were here to see it.
I like it!
- King Crimson, "Indiscipline"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: drdark@37.com (DoktorDark)

"Artemia Salina" <y2k@sheayright.com> wrote:

> Seeing old footage such as that really drives home the idea of how
> long the Church has been in business,

If "time machine old footage" of Jesus, Mohamad, & the other founders
of mainstream society's religions were viewable, and THEIR REAL
physical appearance, actual words & actions viewable, think how might
PINK society be affected. It would make for a great (and worthwhile)
reality TV show for one thing. And the self-serving political &
religious organizational structural manipulations of such events as
the Council of Nicea would become readily apparent when it would be
truly be determinable that such artifacts as a priesthood, the 7
sacraments, etc., were never really created or promoted by the "Son of
God" or the Prophet Mohamad. Hell, for all we know the Hegira might
have taken place becuz ole Mohamad was caught fucking some bigshot's
wife! Plus we could finally see what a babe Mary Magdalen the First
was!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Dr. Rev. Chuck, M.D. P.A." <cdub@_REMOVETHIS_erols.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> Now going onto alt.binaries.slack
>
> "WHAT'S UP AMERICA" Showtime report on SubGenius by Larry Sulkis
> MPEG video (VCD ready) 8 min
>
> Showtime had this show called "What's Up, America." One of the
> directors on that show was Rev. Larry Sulkis, who assembled this in
> 1981, taking advantage of the First World SubGenius Convention in
> Dallas. DEVO happened to be playing Dallas that very night and I
> happened to have just done some animation for them. ("Love Without
> Anger" Barbie-Ken fight). Some youths from Third Coast Productions who
> were SubGenii provided the gear and camera people -- Kevin Wilson and
> Bob Stevens (Bob Stevens who later ran Telemusic and did small time
> music videos with me.)
>
> Rev. Sulkis also wrote "A Working Religion" (a true story!) in THREE
> FISTED TALES OF "BOB", and he co-wrote the movie "The Ghosts of Mars"
> with John Carpenter. He has made a lot of the "making of" shorts
> promoing Hollywood movies.
>
> MINUTIA:
>
> The intro is filmed outside the production company's office in LA
>
> Much of what I say on camera was sort of suggested by Rev. Sulkis...
> what you might call scripted reality TV.
>
> 1:25: Weirdo entering the convention is St. tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE.

Real old newspaper report on the Church:

Baltimore Evening Sun, Oct 20, 1983

Michael, 'the Mad Scientist,' meets the enemy in court here

He billed himself as "Tim Ore, the Mad Scientist, Tentatively, A Convenience."
But the court knew him as Michael F. Tolson.

Tolson said in a recent interview that what passes for normal behavior
in society is his ultimate enemy and stated, "Normality is what cuts off
your sixth finger and you fail."

Yesterday, Tolson, 30, of the ____ block of S. _______ St., met his enemy,
normality, head on. He stood before Judge Daniel Friedman in Southern
District Court, charged with tresspassing.

Tolson had been arrested in the early morning hours of Sept, 18 naked,
his body sprayed with glowing paint, banging cymbals and swinging a
dead dog before 35 spectators.

This latest of his offbeat performances was held in a Chessie System
railroad tunnel in the 1000 block of S. Howard St. This same tunnel,
in the glory days of the railroad, led passenger trains into historic
Camden Station.

Tolson told police that the performance was part of a national convention
of the Church of the Sub-genius (sic), which he described as non-sectarian.

Tolson, who has held a New Year's Eve party in the same tunnel and has
performed on other bizarre stages around Baltimore, was led away in
handcuffs and a pair of trousers Sept. 18 as his pre-dawn performance
was cut short.

Tolson told Friedman that there weren't any no-tresspassing signs around
the railroad property and that he didn't know he had been tresspassing.

The judge granted Tolson probation before judgement, one year's supervised
probabtion and court costs.

> The gal with the drink at 1:47 as the camera zooms back from the crowd
> is Carol Lay, she-cartoonist.
>
> Rev. Buck Naked swore off "Bob" for some long-durpersav.

I miss Buck's pleading autoharp tones.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"Dr. Rev. Chuck, M.D. P.A." <cdub@_REMOVETHIS_erols.com> wrote:
> > Rev. Buck Naked swore off "Bob" for some long-durpersav.
>
> I miss Buck's pleading autoharp tones.

I miss the child support money Buck owes my dalmatian's puppies.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
Here's Godiva, but with her pajamas on

"Peace is very, very EXPENSIVE, friends.
Peace costs innocence. It costs a CONSCIENCE.
Anyone who tells you differently is looking to stab you in the back.
I have never found the TRUTH to be particularly beautiful.
It is cold. Simple."
- "Justice League of America"

"Don't kick the goddamned baby."
- "South Park"


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