Instant Review: Bud Light

From: Cardinal Vertigo <jhobbs@myrealbox.com>
Date: Sat, May 8, 2004

Competition is tough in this price range. But at $5.11 including state
and city sales taxes for a six-pack of longnecks, Anheuser-Busch's Bud
Light is a great marriage between "low cost" and "inexpensive." Less
than 86 cents a beer! And with each sip you can taste the value.

Conclusion: If you want an inexpensive buzz, it sure beats smoking
catnip, huffing hair spray from a paper bag, or drinking Stag.

--
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President,
or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is
not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable
to the American public." - Theodore Roosevelt, twenty-sixth
President of the United States (1901-1909)

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From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> Competition is tough in this price range. But
> at $5.11 including state and city sales taxes
> for a six-pack of longnecks, Anheuser-Busch's Bud
> Light is a great marriage between "low cost" and
> "inexpensive." Less than 86 cents a beer! And
> with each sip you can taste the value.
>
> Conclusion: If you want an inexpensive buzz, it
> sure beats smoking catnip, huffing hair spray from
> a paper bag, or drinking Stag.

Ah, but can it match the fine quality bang of such
elixers as Robotrippin or chugging Afrin? I, for one
know the joys of "'tussin fishbowl" and "funny little
blinkin' bozzes", and while shoplifting Afrin is a
bit low-rent except for state legislators, it will
make your toenails tingle and your heart pustulate.

Even if you want to stick to alcohol, you have a wide
selection of higher velocity jammers such as "Night
Train", "Mad Dog", and "NyquilClear" for the REAL
party animals who don't mind waking up dead. For the
kids and Marines, there is always kool-aide wine, but
not for the more adult taste.

Good is not always cheap, but cheap is not always
not good.

--
I don't know what you're talking about.
I've never met you before in my life.
That story sounds like utter bullshit.
I wasn't there and it wasn't me.
I am *not* in denial. Shut up.
--nu-monet

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From: "Rev. Beergoggles" <spammers_suck@post.replies.please>

Shafer beer. Closest thing to rubbing alcohol that
won't make you blind but just make you wish you were
dead or had no taste buds. A perfect camo for good
bear, just float it on top and the moochers will leave
you alone like a lepper in a hot-tub.

--
rbg

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

In article <vIinc.26061$Z%5.13532@okepread01>, Rev. Beergoggles
<spammers_suck@post.replies.please> wrote:

My research indicated that the most concentrated way to get The Master
Molecule for the least $, in Texas liquor stores, was Danski's By Dant
Vodka in the pint bottle. It was a slightly better deal than Everclear
or any of the fortified wines or cheap vodkas. You got what you paid
for -- FUCKED UP. This may have changed over the years, though. And
even fortified wine drinkers have to be selective. There's a big
difference between Night Train and Thunderbird, for instance. Red Label
T-Bird has the same percentage of Molecule as the Train, but it's a
more refined Molecule, and won't make you NEARLY as sick. (Muscatel and
Mad Dog being closer to Night Train than to Thunderbird in the
morning-after dept.) Truly, as it says on the label, Thunderbird IS
"America's Fine Apertif Wine", and, "Serve Very Cold." My experience
with it was that Red Label Thunderbird, with 4 or 5 old-time
pharmaceutical quality "bennies" dissolved in each bottle, was a hard
drink to put down for long. I haven't actually DONE that since the 70s,
but I'm still buzzing from it, and slightly queasy.

Dextromethorphan is the secret ingredient in Nyquil that will fuck you
up way more than the .25 percent booze in it will -- and it's always
available, even on Sundays! The dextro trip lasts 8 hours. I HATE it.
My body chemistry must have really changed over the years, either that
or my taste in buzzes did. After gobbling acid in the 80s the way my
peers were drinking beer, my idea of "a heavy drug trip" nowadays is
TWO cups of half-strength coffee and then mowing the yard. While having
flashbacks to the acid trips.

However, as cautious as my Heavy CNS-Affecting Drug Use is now, my idea
of "a normal medicinal use of natural herbs" would strike some squares,
prudes and paranoids as being immoderate. We go through a LOT of Poison
Ivy Tea in this household, for instance, and there are folks who think
that's INSANELY UNHEALTHY. And citric acid. People who are probably
coke-heads stare at us when we're doing hits of citric acid in clubs
like we're CRAZY. To each its own. To me the best cheap thrills have
always been the cheapest ones, and the free ones were even better.
Cheap-thrill-wise.

Thank goodness mowing the yard still only costs for the gas and the
mower. And the property. Hmmm. Maybe my cheap thrills aren't so cheap
after all. We try not to overdo it. We've tried not to let it get out
of hand, to keep it on a strictly need to mow basis. But, you know, you
keep telling yourself -- "JUST TODAY. I'll mow TODAY... but that'll be
IT. I'll just let it GROW tomorrow. Yeah. It's not like I HAVE to MOW
or anything. I'm not a SLAVE to MOWING. I can quit ANY TIME."

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

Might I recommend some finestkyne Siberian
Eleuthero? It is like Ginseng Lite and you
be jammin' but not be rammin'.

http://www.pccnaturalmarkets.com/health/Herb/Eleuthero.htm

--
It all boils down to winners and losers.
The winners get what they want and the
losers get the boils.
-- nu-monet

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From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
> Even if you want to stick to alcohol, you have a wide
> selection of higher velocity jammers such as "Night
> Train", "Mad Dog", and "NyquilClear" for the REAL
> party animals who don't mind waking up dead.

It isn't the waking up that bothers me as much as the inevitable
resurrection. THEN the real crap starts, ALL OVER AGAIN. If Everclear,
adrenochrome and driving a 1983 Toyota into a wall at 53 mph won't do
it, well damnit anyway. I give and give and what thanks do I get?
Phooey.

HellPope Huey,
First Church of the SubGenius, Deformed
Damned if you do,
damned if you throw hamsters at passing cars

"The future of music is in this room...
... and there's no one there."
- Owner of The Jam Box,
a practice-warehouse for Seattle bands

"Nothing is a complete load."
- "Futurama"

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From: glassgnost <glassgnost@nospam.sbcglobal.net>

THIS is the true value of sending in that $30. It seems next to
impossible to kill a certified Yeti. Hell, I can't even seem to off
myself, and "Bob" knows, I've tried.

--
Mystical RevvedErrand Doktor glassnost
the furious,mysterious and oh so serious
Seer of the r-r-r-Reeking Taco of Destiny

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Original file name: Instant Review- Bud Light.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05