Zosodada's X-VII Report

From: urpansoph@aol.com (Ur Pansoph)
Date: Wed, Jul 7, 2004

It IS possible to produce a good movie without excessive
special effects -- AND THE SAME IS TRUE FOR X-DAY!
If this X-Day were a big-budget Hollywood movie the
casting director deserves a major award nomination
(despite the logistical difficulty obtaining certain long-
standing SUPERSTARS of the SubGenii such as SUZIE
THE FLOOZIE, NENSLO, ST. CHECKY et al. who were
conspicuous in their absence, yet ever-present in the
form of some tangible & tactile SLACKTOPLASM --
or, as in the case of St. Checky, in the form of a mysterious
pagan D.F.D. ["Doppelganger-From-(a)-Distance" -- Ed.]).

The most amazing corporeal appearances of astonishing
note were certainly the presenting and personable personages
known as DR. HOWLL; THE SWINGIN' LOVE CORPSES; G. GORDON
GORDON; LITTLE FYODOR & BABUSHKA; POPESS LILITH VON
FRAUMENCH; THE AMINOS; GOD, THE FATHER (IN-LAW)
and the newly formed, yet now legendary
CULT OF THE ANAL-VAGINAL CORPSE-MUNT UTENSIL.

The erudite elucidation of the eloquent and delightful
DR. HOWLL were a treasure beyond the scope of wealth;
BEHOLD ! ; -- the prophecy of landscape displacement
hath been fulfilled by bringing this bastion of west coast
culture to the western New York spaceport.

THE SWINGIN' LOVE CORPSES never swung so ripely,
wafting in the frop-laden breeze like the strange fruit of
jazz-fusion they are; best regards to RAY HEY
(and his A-K), and the fearsome DRUMMOND CLAN!

I'm not sure if CULT OF THE ANAL-VAGINAL
CORPSE-MUNT UTENSIL is technically a CULT or a
COVEN: -- there are 13 members, perhaps thus
furthering the aims of the pago-SubGenii syncretic
current. In any case, this collective of erotically
thanatogenous pre-munting personalities was a particular
pleasure, especially the elegant and erstwhile
duo of DOC FROP & SISTER DECADENCE.

GOD, THE FATHER-IN-LAW, provided hours of
entertainment and jocular education in a classical
Jehova-like fashion; I am proud to have been treated
to the many Epistles of James. Perhaps the culture-
shock of such a pagan environment was somewhat
inevitable to the Creator of the All-Holy of Holies:
I suspect He is now reconsidering what thou Shall
and Shall Not from a slightly different perspective
despite His apparent angst at what we have wrought
with His creations. BEHOLD! The prophecy of anthropo-
morphic expectations hath been fulfilled! HE IS A
WIZENED, GREY-BEARDED WHITEMAN who rides
a motorcycle!

Special thanks to the kind ministrations of POPESS
LILITH and JOY D'VEEVE, each who contributed a great
multitude of special slackness that makes the thing
that is XDAY the Thing It Is.

I am disappointed that I did not sample the sausage
of MISTRESS SALACIA THE OVERSEER, nor did she
sample MY special schnitzel. REV. LOVEJOY was also a
distinguished SubGenius. I would have liked to have
spent more time with either or both of them if
I had not been so entangled within the knotted fray
of a corporeal time-space continuum. My prescription
of remedy for next year is an earlier arrival for
either/and/or both of them and/or the wee-one.

JOE COSBY WAS THERE?!?! WHAT!?!?

The biggest highlight of the event that remains with us
is the release of NEW DOBBS PRODUCT -- particularly the
mind-bending psychedelic music video compilation known as
INDOCTRINATION FILM No. VII: DOBB$EDELIA$TE$E$
(or, perhaps more correctly: "DEBBSEDELIASTESES:
INDOCTRINATION FILM No. 7"). Any SubGenii who DOES NOT
HAVE A COPY OF THIS MUST GET A COPY! No hyperbole
can actually do this video/DVD enough justice. Every song
on this is a classic, every eidetic vision is an illumination.
It is MORE than just a video or DVD -- IT IS A MIND-ALTERING
DRUG. Epileptics should use this product with extreme caution.

***THIS SHIT FUCKS HEAD ALL UP!***

--- Zosodada

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <seventhsqueal@yahoo.com>

Ur Pansoph wrote:
> I am disappointed that I did not sample the sausage
> of MISTRESS SALACIA THE OVERSEER, nor did she
> sample MY special schnitzel. REV. LOVEJOY was also a
> distinguished SubGenius. I would have liked to have
> spent more time with either or both of them if
> I had not been so entangled within the knotted fray
> of a corporeal time-space continuum. My prescription
> of remedy for next year is an earlier arrival for
> either/and/or both of them and/or the wee-one.

Um, yeah.

Seems that Modemac's web page describing X-Day 7 as the 7 levels of
Dante's Hell was not false advertizing. I've learned the grim truth
about the otherwise enjoyable sounding Level II. It has a "Look. Don't
Touch" policy, that my personal ministering demon took great pains to
enforce. No schnitzels for Salacia.

> JOE COSBY WAS THERE?!?! WHAT!?!?

WHAT!

> The biggest highlight of the event that remains with us
> is the release of NEW DOBBS PRODUCT -- particularly the
> mind-bending psychedelic music video compilation known as
> INDOCTRINATION FILM No. VII: DOBB$EDELIA$TE$E$
> (or, perhaps more correctly: "DEBBSEDELIASTESES:
> INDOCTRINATION FILM No. 7"). Any SubGenii who DOES NOT
> HAVE A COPY OF THIS MUST GET A COPY! No hyperbole
> can actually do this video/DVD enough justice. Every song
> on this is a classic, every eidetic vision is an illumination.
> It is MORE than just a video or DVD -- IT IS A MIND-ALTERING
> DRUG. Epileptics should use this product with extreme caution.

Must buy psychonautic adventure. Yes.

Here's my money "Bob"!

Very sorry I missed the special screening to cook.

~Salacia

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: urpansoph@aol.com (Ur Pansoph)

<<Very sorry I missed the special screening to cook.>>

ME TOO!

I missed it to . . . um, space out? get drunk?
Whatever I was doing I must have been somewhere
far away from the clutches of Chronos.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

"HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" <seventhsqueal@yahoo.com> wrote:

>> JOE COSBY WAS THERE?!?! WHAT!?!?
>
>WHAT!

I was there like 2 hours ... I got in very late on the 4th and dragged
my butt out of bed for teh saucers. Which DID show up, for those of
you faithless who weren't there.

I didn't really have a lot of time tho.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
Are YOU ready to be pee-tested on JUDGEMENT DAY?

- The Rev. Ivan Stang

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: asscoassc@aol.com (AssCo Assc)

>> JOE COSBY WAS THERE?!?! WHAT!?!?
>
>WHAT!

I was there like 2 hours ... I got in very late on the 4th and dragged
my butt out of bed for teh saucers. Which DID show up, for those of
you faithless who weren't there.

I didn't really have a lot of time tho. >>

Yes, I noticed you weren't there the late-afternoon/early eve. of the 4th to
recieve your award. Dagnabbit -- if I knew you were there for the early
morning event I would have made her land the damn thing back on the ground.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "kevbob" <kevbob@ecsis.net>

did you get a chance to see the alt.slack woods?

is it still there?

has someone burned it down?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Zosodada's X-VII Report

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>
Date: Fri, Jul 9, 2004

"kevbob" <kevbob@ecsis.net> wrote:

>"Joe Cosby" <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl> wrote:
>> I didn't really have a lot of time tho.
>
>did you get a chance to see the alt.slack woods?
>
>is it still there?
>
>has someone burned it down?

I was looking for stuff like that but it was raining buckets of cats,
dogs, and demon-puppies when I got there.

My highest priorities were to find areas whatever related to

usenet
irc
the bar

but in the other order around, hoping I would find somebody I knew or
a drink, but in the other order around.

was there a bar there?

I stopped and asked somebody and they said there was no tiki bar this
year, but then Legume said something about the bar was open earlier.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
"I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in
grammar."
--Friedrich Nietzsche (1889)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>

Joe Cosby wrote:
[snip
> My highest priorities were to find areas whatever related to
>
> usenet
> irc
> the bar
[snip]

Are you ever in #subgenius?

--
"At the age of six years I wanted to be a chef. At the age of seven I
wanted to be Napoleon. My ambitions have continued to grow at the
same rate ever since."
- Salvador Dali

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

once in a blue moon.

I usually am using the name "anonymouse".

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
"Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."
"Yeah, well, I guess he had it comin'."
"We all got it comin', kid."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>

There's one coming up July 31, you know.

--
"Those who are not shocked when they first come across quantum
mechanics cannot possibly have understood it."
- Niels Bohr

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc> wrote:
>"At the age of six years I wanted to be a chef. At the age of seven I
> wanted to be Napoleon. My ambitions have continued to grow at the
> same rate ever since."
> - Salvador Dali

bwa

I like that.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
"Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."
"Yeah, well, I guess he had it comin'."
"We all got it comin', kid."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Cardinal Vertigo <vertigo@alexandria.cc>

Funny, that's what she said.

You'll like this one too:

--
"I do not take drugs. I am drugs."
- Salvador Dali

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: urpansoph@aol.com (Ur Pansoph)

". . . hoping I would find somebody I knew or
a drink, but in the other order around. . . was there a bar there? I stopped
and asked somebody and they said there was no tiki bar this year, but then
Legume said something about the bar was open earlier."

-- Joe Cosby

Just about every campsite had its own bar (private)
the Tiki is Chaz's. I can't believe you had trouble
finding an adult beverage! I could have hooked you
up if you found the big round thing with the fire
in the middle (where I think I was at about the
time of your arrival).

-- zosodada

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

Basically every other SubGenius WAS a bar. That is, about half of them
would have said, oh, come over to my tent-car, I'll fix you the drink
to end all drinks. The other half would not have been able to offer
alcohol but would have had some other kind of intoxicant or
grief-easer. The amount of stuff that's GIVEN AWAY there is amazing. In
fact, just the amounts that were LOST by the FORGETFUL probably would
make most of us weep for the waste. I know for a fact that there are
still several rolled killer-death zombo-fropsticks mingled somewhere in
the gravel around the stage.

During big events there's a real bar-bar with drinks for sale at
Brushwood, and it's been there for some Drills, but not this time.

It IS a lot easier when you're there before Sunday.

Oddly, quite a NUMBER of people didn't show up until Sunday. For
instance, just as I'd half-predicted, Lonesome Cowboy Dave arrived
about midnight on Sunday night and stayed for about two hours, long
enough to sit around yakking with Howll, Philo, GGG and Wei and I,
while everyone else was watching videos.

I got up early this morning so I could call in to the Puzzling Evidence
show on KPFA in San Francisco. (Wei does that almost every week on the
way to work now!) Two out of the three host blabbermouths, all but
Puzzling himself, had been at the 7XDay Drill. I copied what Lil said
when she called in to Rev. Susie the Floozy's show, that the campground
had burned down, leaving nothing but ash and burnt stumps, and ONE
DOBBSHEAD nailed to a tree that had miraculously escaped the flames.
(Like the Dobbshead which was the sole untoasted survivor of the
Negativland studio fire some decades back.)

Joe, I know what you mean about wanting to have a few drinks before
meeting a bunch of SubGenii for the first time. I'm a drunk who happens
to be a few years between drinks myself and I MUST NOT drink at all,
yet I HAVE to meet ALL of the SubGenii. (At least I feel I should, and
I TRY to, although every year there are always several youths who stay
hidden from me the whole time.) I have access to the Greatest Marijuana
in the Universe, but that's not exactly the best way to get RID of
inhibitions. Instead it tends to FORCE YOU TO SEE THEM PLAINLY which
may not be of help. Luckily, I am a half decent ACTOR, so I PRETEND as
hard as I can that I'm NOT really a shy nerd who would much prefer to
hide somewhere with my computers and that one alien space queen. I
should get an academy award, too.

Another thing I try to do every year is to schedule my nervous
breakdown for some time when not much is happening. I didn't have time
for it at home before the event, what with packing, and finishing
videos, but there was a dead time on Saturday morning when I had an
hour or two in which the anxiety of it all could safely be expressed as
a complete freakout. Several people probably remember me mentioning to
them as I hurried by that I was having obviously the worst day and that
I wanted the Xtorture to stop. I "became" my mysterious correspondent
Akbar. I stomped and drove around and finally got it out of my system.
The 10 to 11 am Hate. Almost damaged my new used van. Happens every
X-day and almost every Devival. Jesus has the nervous breakdown too,
usually, at some point, and Magdalen must, although I haven't seen it.
It's called "Convention Host Syndrome." It happens to anybody who is
fool-brave enough to sponsor a devival or a Dokstock or Drill or
whatever. Popess Lillith dubbed us "DEVIVORS," those who have undergone
that particular crucible. Rev. Chris Lee, Rev. Crawford Smith, Pope
Black, all the SubGenius Foundation EmpLoyees, Rev. Susie the Floozy,
and many more, all of us are scarred but toughened by the gauntlet of
"putting on a show in the old barn to save the orphange from
foreclosure".

And WE KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

Your problem was possibly that the first people you talked to, me and
Sister Decadence, are NOT the ones who are walking bars, but rather the
OTHER kind.

There are not so many of us Usenet Subs at the Drills. It's more a
Youth event I guess and so there are more of the IRC people. They even
have a Tarzan-style treehouse Flintsones IRC scrolling paper apparatus
for those who CANNOT talk any other way. And NOBODY from
alt.binaries.slack. Talk about reclusive. It was 5 years or more before
I even saw PICTURES of LeMur or IMBJR. (Bat Mummy preregistered but
didn't appear.) So when somebody like you or Salacia appears for the
first time, people whose BRANES we have been allowed to PEER INTO
FAIRLY DEEPLY, it's a big deal! To me at least. As seen here on Screen
One, I gravitate towards the Internet ghettos where people talk in
paragraph and page length monologs rather than in the one-line
conversational language that the IRC geeks speak... but there aren't as
many of us who are THAT gigantically egotistical. Yet those same folks
who are blowhards on paper or microphones will often be wallflowers at
the keg party.

But then you have your Radio Doctors, like Dr. Howll, Lonesome Cowboy
Dave, and Dr. Sinister, say, who are not on the Internet at all to
speak of, but who also tend to have paragraph-long thoughts. Well maybe
not Dave. He has word-long thoughts but they're BIG words and usually
just invented.

Then there is Philo, who can fill all media while thinking no thoughts.

I guess it takes all kinds.

Now. Where was I.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
>The 10 to 11 am Hate. Almost damaged my new used van. Happens every
>X-day and almost every Devival. Jesus has the nervous breakdown too,
>usually, at some point, and Magdalen must, although I haven't seen it.

I guess when you have whole divisions of your own personal fascist
army, you don't sweat stuff like that so much.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.com/
The Compleat Demystified Idiots
Guide to the Zen of Dummies in a Nutshell in Seven Days, Unleashed

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Original file name: Zosodada's X-VII Report.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05