Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

Rev dode dode(pee)@tystie.com> wrote:
> dinosaurbob wrote:
> > spammers_lie@rrclark.net (Rich Clark, aka Rev Egg Plant, ULC) wrote:

> >> All Hallows Eve found me and my Connieite headed off to see a live
> >> production of the Rocky Horror Show at St Dunstan's Theatre in
> >> Bloomfield Hills, MI, an influential suburb between Pontiac and Detroit.
> >> I expected to go and have a very excellent, slackful time. I was
> >> sadly disappointed.
> >
> > What do you expect when you go to a production of a pink-ass movie
> > like Rocky Horror? Ugh, no real SubGenius likes that crap.
>
> SIG!
>
> Man if we were all just the same as you the world would be one hell of a
> better place. Fer Sure.

Here's how The Rocky Horror Picture Show can be NOT BAD:

If you're 45 years old and you have NEVER SEEN IT, yet you HATE it. For
obvious reasons: the Rocky Horror Fans.

BUT! You also try to remember that the main reason anybody hates the
Church of the SubGenius is almost always because of repellent SubGenius
fans they met once.

Then you're in a hotel room in Podunkville with Jesus, and there's
nothing on the TV except... The Rocky Horror Picture Show! Which you've
never seen. Only one person is there to do the "audience lines" and
that's Jesus Christ the Host of Hosts. (Yes, He did that in His youth a
few times.)

I saw it that way and I was pleasantly surprised at how racy it was for
1974 and how the traditional audience lines are worked into it. It
wasn't nearly as bad as its fans' personalities had led me to believe.
Needless to say, it wasn't anywhere near as good as they say it is,
either. It's just a nutty comedy movie. Big deal. Bottom line: I
thought it was "cute" and I could see how it would rivet the attention
of some misfit youth in 1974.

I was more of a "200 Motels" man myself during that period. I saw that
at the midnight movies 15 times in a row.

Incidentally, Jesus Himself avoided the Church of the SubGenius for
several years before we met and He became Business Manager. He avoided
it because he had not seen the books or heard any Old School shows, but
had only met SubGeniuses. And the ones he met reminded him of those
Rocky Horror nerds.

I get the impression also that the Rocky Horror community, like the SCA
community, the pagan community, the sf community, and the SubGenius
community, is sometimes the only way a stupid, ugly, nerdy kid can get
laid.

Hell, when I was in high school, in 1970, I hung out with the THEATER
KIDS to get laid. FUTURE Rocky Horror fans. Since this was an all-boys
private school and the after-hours theater club had GIRLS from others
schools in it, this made sense. It did NOT produce the desired
results. Well maybe it did sort of. I met my ex wife through that
theater club. But I didn't get laid until college anyway and that was
by her, and then we got married. Had I gotten laid properly during my
high school years, somebody else would be Sacred Scribe now, I have no
doubt of that.

So look at it this way. By helping the morbidly obese and grossly
neurotic to get laid, The Rocky Horror Picture Show prevents
competition for our Church from sprouting up.

Personally I have found that the Church of the SubGenius is a GREAT way
to meet the mutant girls that a mutant boy might be looking for. Eh...
feh... who am I kidding. Fuck, it's just like high school all over
again.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: KRONOS <null@void.com>

On Sat, 02 Nov 2002, stang@subgenius.com wrote:

> Had I gotten
> laid properly during my high school years, somebody else would be
> Sacred Scribe now, I have no doubt of that.

Pent-up, thwarted, misdirected sexual energy-that's what makes the
world go round!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: Rev dode <dode(pee)@tystie.com>

For me the RHS was only ever an opportunity to stare at real live scantily
clad wimmin, not something I'd seen a lot of growing up on the Scottish
riviera. As a kid with limited ambition I never really aspired to actually
getting a lumber, that I suppose is why Amurika now owns the world.

"Ugh, no real SubGenius likes that crap."
+Dinosaurbob+

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: subspecies23@aol.comnospam (The Rev. Kev)

<< I get the impression also that the Rocky Horror community, like the SCA
community, the pagan community, the sf community, and the SubGenius
community, is sometimes the only way a stupid, ugly, nerdy kid can get
laid. >>

What the fuck? I've been a member of almost all of those and then some, and
I'm a 23 year old virgin. And I'm not even that ugly.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: dinosaurbob@comcast.net (dinosaurbob)

> Man if we were all just the same as you the world would be one hell of a
> better place. Fer Sure.

Well, Stang said the same thing so if you don't believe me maybe
you'll listen to him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: Rev dode <dode(pee)@tystie.com>

dinosaurbob wrote:

> Well, Stang said the same thing so if you don't believe me maybe
> you'll listen to him.

sig!

hyuk hyuk

Two in a row, you have a rare and _special_ talent, we haven't one of you
since the last one.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: dinosaurbob@comcast.net (dinosaurbob)

Here's what Stang wrote in this ng about Rocky Horror:
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&selm=i.stang-ya02408000R2504970316230001%40snews.zippo.com

"What is perhaps to SOME, WEIRD, is that I don't have any snappy
comebacks about this, because... I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE FILM, "THE ROCKY HORROR
PICTURE SHOW"! I have NEVER EVEN SEEN IT! I know who all the main
characters are, though. I have met them at Subgenius cons.

"My daughter saw the movie and said it was the lamest bunch of "appeal
to the geeky would-be-mutant pinks" she'd ever seen. But then... she's
probably not aware that it, itself, is what started those various
embarrassing stereotypes that she used to find sleeping on our
doorsteps."

I'm pretty sure I heard Stang say something similar or even more
damning on Hour of Slack.

I agree with Stang and his daughter.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: ridetheory <ridetheory@notmail.com>

I used to work at a movie theater where we showed Rocky. Sweet buttery
Jesus, did we hate them Horrorites. Management didn't care how badly we
treated them, because they would be back, over and over and over. One day,
I got to record the outgoing message about the upcoming shows, and where I
was supposed to say, "...and every Friday and Saturday at Midnight, the
Rocky Horror Picture Show, for a separate five dollar admission," I added,
"Let's see, that's ten dollars a week, fifty-two weeks in a year... wow,
that's $520! Hmm. Just think of what you could do with $520..."

Projection booth was one of those two projector deals where they had to do
changeovers between reels. The projectionist got a clip of Bill Murray
looking around in Ghostbusters, and put it on the dormant projector. When
it got to the scene with "BRAD! JANET! ROCKY! UGH!" he left the audio going
on projector 1, and did a visual changeover to projector 2.

We went out of our way to play music they would hate before the show, and
the ultimate was Raymond Scott's "Soothing Sounds for Baby." (This was in
the 1980s -- I found the LP at a thrift store, and didn't even know who
Scott was.) MAN, WERE THEY PISSED WHEN WE CRANKED THAT ONE UP! But the
projectionist just locked the door and ignored them.

One night, just as an insult, the entire staff wore surgical gloves as we
took their money, tore their tickets and sold 'em popcorn.

The only thing I liked about the Horrorites was: they were always so damn
wasted that they would often pay with a twenty and walk away, forgetting
their change. Some nights in the box office, I could make $60 or $70, and I
just considered them REALLY BIG TIPPERS!

Good times, good times...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

The Rev. Kev wrote:

> << I get the impression also that the Rocky Horror community, like the SCA
> community, the pagan community, the sf community, and the SubGenius
> community, is sometimes the only way a stupid, ugly, nerdy kid can get
> laid. >>
>
> What the fuck? I've been a member of almost all of those and then some, and
> I'm a 23 year old virgin. And I'm not even that ugly.

As always, the best solution is the simplest: ROCK AND STICK.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> All Movies Are Stupid.

Are not.

Especially when you are really whacked
and wired at 2:30 in the morning and
you're watching John Carpenter's
"The Thing" and you're about 3/4 of
the way through and your girlfriend
*suddenly and without warning*
enters the room and

WANTS TO GIVE YOU A BLOWJOB!!!

AAAIIIIEEEEGGGGGHHHHH!!!

A stupid movie WILL NOT make you turn
down a blowjob. Simple as that.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

dinosaurbob@comcast.net wrote:

> Well, Stang said the same thing so if you don't believe me maybe
> you'll listen to him.

??? I didn't say no SubGenius liked that crap. I pointed out that I was
actually in a position where I thought that particular crap was cute
and kind of daring for 1974.

All Movies Are Stupid. Some people like some stupid movies and other
people like other stupid movies. There is however NO SUCH THING AS A
""REAL" SUBGENIUS". Unless you're ready to start making the definitive
list of what's "Pink" and what's "cool for SubGenii". In which case
you'd have to list yourself at the top of the former. And I don't think
you want to do that. But you would HAVE to, once you started that
particular list.

If I were to start the List of Things to See, Say and Do, The Rocky
Horror Picture Show would probably be one of the things on the list.
But see, it's only SUGGESTIONS. It's a list that grows rather than
shrinks.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

> I'm pretty sure I heard Stang say something similar or even more
> damning on Hour of Slack.
>> I agree with Stang and his daughter.

???

I SAID I HAD NEVER SEEN IT in that ancient post. My DAUGHTER (who was
I think 12 or so at the time) thought it was lame. I was pointing out
to her that in historical context, it had a great deal of impact on our
particular lives, whether it was lame or not.

My post yesterday indicated that when I finally saw the movie, I didn't
think it was half bad for its time.

Unfortunately, many artistic projects end up being better known for
their vocal and immitative fans than for their own merits. Star Trek,
Dr. Who, Hitchiker's Guide, The Firesign Theater, GWAR, Frank Zappa,
Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh, MST3K, Southpark, Michael Moore and our
own little Church of the SubGenius are all examples of this.

The Church of the SubGenius, alone, has more collaborators than fans,
however, so maybe we'll escape the curse yet.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

nu-monet v5.0 wrote:

> A stupid movie WILL NOT make you turn
> down a blowjob. Simple as that.

That choice is left to the Stupid Brain.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> In article <3DC6C4CE.627C@succeeds.com>, nu-monet v5.0
> <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
>
> > A stupid movie WILL NOT make you turn
> > down a blowjob. Simple as that.

>>> That choice is left to the Stupid Brain.

This is your Stupid Brain on bad movies.

I ass you, is this a badmovie plotline:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=29508

A deputy undersecretary of the Air Force is scheduled to
participate in a paintball game in which one team seeks
to protect the president while another seeks to assassinate
him...

-- Presidential Executive order 13013,
signed by President George W. Bush,
authorizing the use of snarf against
bicycle seats

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: spammers_lie@rrclark.net (Rich Clark, aka Rev Egg Plant, ULC)

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>nu-monet v5.0 wrote:
>
> >> A stupid movie WILL NOT make you turn
>> down a blowjob. Simple as that.
>
> That choice is left to the Stupid Brain.

That choice is stupid to the Left Brain.

--
Ash OS durbatulûk, ash OS gimbatul, ash OS thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi
krimpatul! One OS to rule them all, one OS to find them, one OS to
bring them all and in the Darkness bind them!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

> dinosaurbob <dinosaurbob@comcast.net> wrote:

>> Well, Stang said the same thing so if you don't believe me maybe
>> you'll listen to him.

so how -does- it feel to have somebody use you as their appeal to
authority?

--

We are sorry, you have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone
ninety degrees and try again.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Slackly Disappointing All Hallows Eve
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

nu-monet v5.0 wrote:

>A stupid movie WILL NOT make you turn
>down a blowjob. Simple as that.

my brain choked trying to logic this sentence out

I don't think I disagree with you. I am starting to lose motor
functions though.

How do you exec a bash script if it's in a jar?

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Original file name: Re- Slackly Disappointing All E - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:39